Friday July 22, 2010 at San Diego Comic Con Ballroom 20 saw the World Premier of the newest DC Comics Animated movie, Batman: Under the Red Hood. To a thunderous applause the room darkened and the film began.
The premise of the film is from the "Death in the Family" storyline where Joker kills Robin. And then picks up when a brand new Red Hood shows up in Gotham and starts killing of criminals. The ante is upped when Batman figures out the Red Hood is Jason Todd. I have to say, when I found out Mark Hamil wasn't the voice of the Joker, I was skeptical, as the Joker is a huge part of this movie. When I found out Kevin Conroy wasn't voicing the Dark Knight, I was downright crushed. BUT, to my surprise and delight John DiMaggio and Bruce Greenwood's voices were goddamned perfect for the roles. Joker was more sadistic than he's ever been, and Batman was top notch. The addition of Neil Patrick Harris as Nightwing was nothing short of phenomenal.
The animation was stellar. Some of the best integration of traditional 2D style mixed with a dash of CGI here and there. It flowed as seemless as I have ever seen. And the score was first rate.
Playing into the storyline involving Arkham Asylum and the flashback sequences was a nice touch and much appreciated.
Look past the potential sin of not casting two of the all time best voice actors in super hero history, and sit back. Cause you are going to have your socks knocked off. A lot of time and effort went into this production, as well as a lot of love. You could feel the energy in the ballroom as the action unfolded. When Batman leaped through one door of a car being heaved at him and through the opposite passenger window to escape, the crowd erupted. As Nightwing quipped and attempted to banter with his larger, angrier mentor, the entire room of well over five hundred roared with laughter. And as the end credits began to roll, the whole audience gave the film a standing ovation, in spirit at least, as most of us had been on our feet for two days already and were fucking exhausted. There wasn't a thing I would have improved upon with this flick. And I honestly mean that. I am an enormous Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamil fan. I would cut my own mother to have them do another movie together. But this film was as perfect as you can get. And the fact that I was there to witness the emergence of Amazo from a metal container, only to heave boxcar shipping containers at Bats and Nightwing for the WORLD FUCKING PREMIER was a really special thing.
As you know, if you've been reading my Hardcore Reviews for the two years I have been writing them, you know I base my feelings or grade for the project I am reviewing upon hardcore moments in professional wrestling history. And Batman: Under the Red Hood rates pretty fucking high on the scale. TO couple with this grade, I met Christopher Daniels today as well as saw Paul Heyman walking right down Fifth Avenue not two blocks from the convention center.... In my mind some of the most famous words ever spoken in a wrestling ring were said inside an ECW ring. And as Sandman lay broken and damn near destroyed after a three way dance ladder match in the main event of ECW's last pay per view, 2001's Guilty as Charged, out came the reining Television Champ Rhino who gored Sandman damn near in half. Rhino grabs the mic and proclaims, "If that's the belt everyone's willing to die for. That's the belt I'm willing to kill for!" He then challenges the newly anointed four time World Heavyweight Champion, Sandman to an impromptu championship match. In addition, Rhino threatens to kill Fullington's wife and kids if he doesn't accept. To which Sandman simply replies, "Ring the fucking bell...." Rhino picks up Sandman, gores him through a table propped up in the corner and pins the champ. Sandman kicks out at two. Frustrated, Rhino sitout pile drivers Sandman from the apron through a table at ringside. Drags the all but dead Hardcore Icon back into the ring and pins him.... Rhino then gets back on the house mic and challenges anyone in the back to come out and take his belt. Suddenly, Pantera's "WALK" screams through the P.A.......
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
X-Men Origins: Wolverine; A Hardcore Review
Shhhhhh..........IT! WHat the fuck was this about? Hannibal King is also Wade Wilson, the easiest fucking rip off of Deathstroke the Terminator there has ever been. Man, was Rob Liefeld on one of his Levis Jeans model shoots when he thought up this bag of crap? I'll get back to that abortion later.
Who fucking directed this movie? Cause last thing I saw before the screen said the movies title, was its producers. Of which Hugh Jackman put his twenty bucks into the pot. And I'm guessing they didn't spend all the money on compentent CGI Animators either. What the fuck was up with the sceen in the bathroom? His claws looked 2D and they were floating all over the place.
Hey guys I got a great idea for a Wolverine movie. Let's tell a story about how he got the outfit he wears in the three X-Men movies.
I got another great idea for a Wolverine movie. Let's completely gloss over possibly one of the greatest origin stories of all time in Barry Windsor Smith's opus, Weapon X. And I got another idea too. Let's completely squash the idea of Weapon X and call it something cool like Weapon 10. Yeah cause nothing makes people happier than shitting all over something they've read and trusted and believed like a mucking up continuity like it was a 50 pack of American cheese.
Who wrote this attrocity? Did they just grab a handful of Wolverine origin stories, (Of which there are thousands)[THANKS MARVEL]... and just read the first three pages of each and then say, "yup that should do it." Who the fuck was the Japanese guy supposed to be, Domino? Cause she was one of my favorite characters, fuck Longshot! And everyone is all pissing themselves cause Ryan Reynolds shows up for like ten minutes and does a pretty shitty job of being a believable Deadpool. Oh wait, my bad. He wasn't Deadpool, he was Wade Wilson. Who then eventually becomes Deadpool, and has a ton of fucking powers, which also had nothing to do with Department H or Weapon X. Fuck you Joe Quesadilla. It's Weapon X and if I ever meet up with your tubby ass in an alley one day I'm gonna go Jimmy Palmiotti all over you fat hairy Italian ass.
So the concept of this movie was, tell the comic book world's most overused character's most rediculous origin ever. And do it in an hour and thirty minutes. I'll do you one better. Let's not only do it in an hour and thirty minutes, let's make it FUCKING PG-13, so we can sell fucking action figures and a video game that will be mature rated. Let's not show any blood, especially while Wolverine, sorry Weapon 10, cause he wasn't Wolverine yet, kills what two fucking people on his way out of the Department H compound. Oh and let's make it even better by having him choose a name in the gayest way possible.... by having it relate back to some chick he was fucking who told him some fucking rediculous fucking bedtime story about how the cow jumped over the moon and the cow was actually named wolverine or Mrs. RObinson or some other highly illogical plot point. That and how long were Wolverine and "his brother" Sabretooth actually in this special (as in short bus) program? Cause Vietnam ended in 1972, more or less. And then after Logan leaves the program it's six years later and everyone is wearing Tommy Fucking Hilfiger on Bourbon Street. Given that maybe he was in their little gay group of retarded mutants for a decade, that would still only make the story take place in 1988. I'll give you two or three years and call it the 1990's. SO why did all the vehicles they were driving look like brand newly manufactured 2000+ editions?
Where were your continuity editors? Where were your editors period? What the fuck happend to Wolverine and his shiny Indian Cheif belt buckle. And how come people got instant erections for Ryan Reynolds who already belongs to a different franchise? You people are dumb dumb dumb! Although Liev Shreiber did make a decent Sabretooth, sorry, Victor Creed. Cause where does the Creed name come from if he's really Logan's brother, who is named Logan because that would be his last name. HMmmmmmm. Plot holes that you could drive Peter Jackson's new bago f crap Distric 9 through.
In summation, I give X-Men Origins: Wolverine a pretty gay grade in and of itself. A fifty plus year old man "hulking up" in the middle of the ring while his weight belt holds in his massively muscled gut and his bleached blonde bimbo combo daughter and wife sit at ringside while his son gets ass raped in prison. Ladies and gentlemen, Hulk Hogan!
Who fucking directed this movie? Cause last thing I saw before the screen said the movies title, was its producers. Of which Hugh Jackman put his twenty bucks into the pot. And I'm guessing they didn't spend all the money on compentent CGI Animators either. What the fuck was up with the sceen in the bathroom? His claws looked 2D and they were floating all over the place.
Hey guys I got a great idea for a Wolverine movie. Let's tell a story about how he got the outfit he wears in the three X-Men movies.
I got another great idea for a Wolverine movie. Let's completely gloss over possibly one of the greatest origin stories of all time in Barry Windsor Smith's opus, Weapon X. And I got another idea too. Let's completely squash the idea of Weapon X and call it something cool like Weapon 10. Yeah cause nothing makes people happier than shitting all over something they've read and trusted and believed like a mucking up continuity like it was a 50 pack of American cheese.
Who wrote this attrocity? Did they just grab a handful of Wolverine origin stories, (Of which there are thousands)[THANKS MARVEL]... and just read the first three pages of each and then say, "yup that should do it." Who the fuck was the Japanese guy supposed to be, Domino? Cause she was one of my favorite characters, fuck Longshot! And everyone is all pissing themselves cause Ryan Reynolds shows up for like ten minutes and does a pretty shitty job of being a believable Deadpool. Oh wait, my bad. He wasn't Deadpool, he was Wade Wilson. Who then eventually becomes Deadpool, and has a ton of fucking powers, which also had nothing to do with Department H or Weapon X. Fuck you Joe Quesadilla. It's Weapon X and if I ever meet up with your tubby ass in an alley one day I'm gonna go Jimmy Palmiotti all over you fat hairy Italian ass.
So the concept of this movie was, tell the comic book world's most overused character's most rediculous origin ever. And do it in an hour and thirty minutes. I'll do you one better. Let's not only do it in an hour and thirty minutes, let's make it FUCKING PG-13, so we can sell fucking action figures and a video game that will be mature rated. Let's not show any blood, especially while Wolverine, sorry Weapon 10, cause he wasn't Wolverine yet, kills what two fucking people on his way out of the Department H compound. Oh and let's make it even better by having him choose a name in the gayest way possible.... by having it relate back to some chick he was fucking who told him some fucking rediculous fucking bedtime story about how the cow jumped over the moon and the cow was actually named wolverine or Mrs. RObinson or some other highly illogical plot point. That and how long were Wolverine and "his brother" Sabretooth actually in this special (as in short bus) program? Cause Vietnam ended in 1972, more or less. And then after Logan leaves the program it's six years later and everyone is wearing Tommy Fucking Hilfiger on Bourbon Street. Given that maybe he was in their little gay group of retarded mutants for a decade, that would still only make the story take place in 1988. I'll give you two or three years and call it the 1990's. SO why did all the vehicles they were driving look like brand newly manufactured 2000+ editions?
Where were your continuity editors? Where were your editors period? What the fuck happend to Wolverine and his shiny Indian Cheif belt buckle. And how come people got instant erections for Ryan Reynolds who already belongs to a different franchise? You people are dumb dumb dumb! Although Liev Shreiber did make a decent Sabretooth, sorry, Victor Creed. Cause where does the Creed name come from if he's really Logan's brother, who is named Logan because that would be his last name. HMmmmmmm. Plot holes that you could drive Peter Jackson's new bago f crap Distric 9 through.
In summation, I give X-Men Origins: Wolverine a pretty gay grade in and of itself. A fifty plus year old man "hulking up" in the middle of the ring while his weight belt holds in his massively muscled gut and his bleached blonde bimbo combo daughter and wife sit at ringside while his son gets ass raped in prison. Ladies and gentlemen, Hulk Hogan!
Teenagers from Mars; A Hardcore Review
So, you get in fights a lot?
Yeah.
You always get your ass kicked?
Yeah.
Aren't you ever afraid?
No.
The words that adorn the back cover of Teenagers From Mars. Basically summing up the entire story. Today's review is of an eight issue series from early 2000's. The series is the pentultimate teamup for Rob G and Rick Spears. This story follows Mall-Mart employee Macon Blair as he stand up to the man to defend comic books. Loses his job. And gets his ass kicked, by a balding middle aged manager of Mall-Mart.
A series of graverobbings is linked to a Satanic cult in the area. Isn't it always. Three kids are responsible. They rob the graves and then sell the loot to a pawn shop. All in the attempt to make enough money to buy Beyond Adventure #75 which is the first appearance of Captain Tomorrow.
Macon Blair is a former employee of mega giant Mall-Mart. He writes and draws a local comic called Lines on Paper. And he has just met the girl of his dreams.
Madison Lee is a super hot punk chick, with a penchant for the violent. She gets busted for assault in the aforementioned Mall-Mart after kicking the shit out of a pervert who looked up her skirt. No charges were filed on the pervert.
Macon and Madison meet up at a zombie house party. Trust me, you gotta see it to believe it. She befriends perenial loser Macon and walks him home afterwards. A romance is soon to follow. But not it any traditional sense. Macon is a proponnent of the 1st Ammendment. SO much so that he thinks kids should see scary zombie flicks and read whatever kind of comics they want. After he and Madison trash the Mall-Mart a prohibition on comic books is started in the quaint little town of Mars.
Macon's book, Lines on Paper is confiscated by the feds, and Macon is determined to get it back. This leads to the best exchange in comics history, as Macon doesn't want to risk any harm coming to Madison. She belts him in the gut and calls him a pussy. Citing that she's nobody's damsel in distress.
Macon comes back the next day and meets he on her roof. They exchange looks and then BAM! Macon pops his in the jaw. True love is never an easy thing folks. The two make like gang busters on the Mayor's office, fully rendering him to a ruthless rectal assault via gavel. Take the pages back and make off like Mickey and Malory. In the exchange of gunfire, Madison is hit and wounded pretty badly. Macon, rushes her to the hospital in which the doctor reveals himself to be a member of the Comic Book Liberation Army, giving the duo a headstart.
I have read this book a plethora of times. And I am ammused every time I read it. I have recommended this title to as many people as I can think of and more than any other book. Even my own. This made it's way to my top five and then took down the perrenial number one, The Dark Knight Retuns after I reread it for the third or fourth time. Everything that is good about comics is what makes this book a classic. I just want a hardcover copy so my paperback can be retired. I own every issue of this series ( I get mentioned in the letteres column in issue 6 although my name is butchered) and two copies of the trade paper back. One signed by writer Rick SPears. I even own a piece of artwork by Rob G that he did at APE Con several years ago. And I have charged Rob with drawing an original piece of Macon and Madison dressed up like zombies for a tattoo concept I have. He said he's up for it and then I can die happy. Although I plan to give the comic book world a run for it's money by taking what I love about TFM and making it my own in YiA.
This comic is so hardcore it was tough coming up with a grade for it. But here goes. The day before the Dudley Boys left ECW they fought little brother Spike Dudley and Balls Mahoney for the tag straps. In a moment that has to be seen to be believed and I think a first in wrestling history, Bubba and D Von set ablaze two tables outside of the ring, one on top of the other and proceed to powerbomb Little Spike Dudley through the flaming wreckage and onto the cold, hard unforgiving concrete floor below. Chants of, "Holy Shit!" "EC Dub" and, "He's Hardcore," followed. And the wrestling world would never be the same.
Yeah.
You always get your ass kicked?
Yeah.
Aren't you ever afraid?
No.
The words that adorn the back cover of Teenagers From Mars. Basically summing up the entire story. Today's review is of an eight issue series from early 2000's. The series is the pentultimate teamup for Rob G and Rick Spears. This story follows Mall-Mart employee Macon Blair as he stand up to the man to defend comic books. Loses his job. And gets his ass kicked, by a balding middle aged manager of Mall-Mart.
A series of graverobbings is linked to a Satanic cult in the area. Isn't it always. Three kids are responsible. They rob the graves and then sell the loot to a pawn shop. All in the attempt to make enough money to buy Beyond Adventure #75 which is the first appearance of Captain Tomorrow.
Macon Blair is a former employee of mega giant Mall-Mart. He writes and draws a local comic called Lines on Paper. And he has just met the girl of his dreams.
Madison Lee is a super hot punk chick, with a penchant for the violent. She gets busted for assault in the aforementioned Mall-Mart after kicking the shit out of a pervert who looked up her skirt. No charges were filed on the pervert.
Macon and Madison meet up at a zombie house party. Trust me, you gotta see it to believe it. She befriends perenial loser Macon and walks him home afterwards. A romance is soon to follow. But not it any traditional sense. Macon is a proponnent of the 1st Ammendment. SO much so that he thinks kids should see scary zombie flicks and read whatever kind of comics they want. After he and Madison trash the Mall-Mart a prohibition on comic books is started in the quaint little town of Mars.
Macon's book, Lines on Paper is confiscated by the feds, and Macon is determined to get it back. This leads to the best exchange in comics history, as Macon doesn't want to risk any harm coming to Madison. She belts him in the gut and calls him a pussy. Citing that she's nobody's damsel in distress.
Macon comes back the next day and meets he on her roof. They exchange looks and then BAM! Macon pops his in the jaw. True love is never an easy thing folks. The two make like gang busters on the Mayor's office, fully rendering him to a ruthless rectal assault via gavel. Take the pages back and make off like Mickey and Malory. In the exchange of gunfire, Madison is hit and wounded pretty badly. Macon, rushes her to the hospital in which the doctor reveals himself to be a member of the Comic Book Liberation Army, giving the duo a headstart.
I have read this book a plethora of times. And I am ammused every time I read it. I have recommended this title to as many people as I can think of and more than any other book. Even my own. This made it's way to my top five and then took down the perrenial number one, The Dark Knight Retuns after I reread it for the third or fourth time. Everything that is good about comics is what makes this book a classic. I just want a hardcover copy so my paperback can be retired. I own every issue of this series ( I get mentioned in the letteres column in issue 6 although my name is butchered) and two copies of the trade paper back. One signed by writer Rick SPears. I even own a piece of artwork by Rob G that he did at APE Con several years ago. And I have charged Rob with drawing an original piece of Macon and Madison dressed up like zombies for a tattoo concept I have. He said he's up for it and then I can die happy. Although I plan to give the comic book world a run for it's money by taking what I love about TFM and making it my own in YiA.
This comic is so hardcore it was tough coming up with a grade for it. But here goes. The day before the Dudley Boys left ECW they fought little brother Spike Dudley and Balls Mahoney for the tag straps. In a moment that has to be seen to be believed and I think a first in wrestling history, Bubba and D Von set ablaze two tables outside of the ring, one on top of the other and proceed to powerbomb Little Spike Dudley through the flaming wreckage and onto the cold, hard unforgiving concrete floor below. Chants of, "Holy Shit!" "EC Dub" and, "He's Hardcore," followed. And the wrestling world would never be the same.
Dethklok Versus The Goon; A Hardcore Review
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
I've read thousands of comic books. And I've seen thousands of cartoons. But I've never read anything as insane as this. Murderface is the saviour of some long line of inbred mental midgets, and the worst person to ever walk the earth.
Rock Zo is the only one who can stop him, think the Manchurian Candidate but without the unnecessary political intrigue.
Franky becomes a fish/ beaver who does cocaine. And Dethklok gives a performance in Cleveland, or so they think.
Throughout everything, Dethklok is drawn as Dethklok and the Goon is drawn as the Goon. I only wish it had all been in the style of t the Goon. Although as far as 15 minute long episodes go, this was one of them. And if you're lucky like I am you heard all the voices just as they sound on the show.
I do cocaine.
Hell, I might even share a line with Rock Zo. But he did it all before I got my Vietnamese Acid. And I'm pissed!
I give this book a fair grade in its own right. Although it's hard to grade a story such as this. It truly is a mind fuck, and that's what I'm gonna give it. Mindgames 1996. The first time Mick Foley, as Mankind has gotten a WWF title shot against the Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels. This has been said to be one of Mick's favorite matches of his career. And it was as crazy as you might expect with an appearance from the Undertaker and some guys from the locker room. Mick goes berzerk halfway through the match and stabs himself in the knee with a pen, to get the feeling back. And Shawn throws a hissy fit afterwards. It had all the psychology and insanity of a true Mick Foley Classic.
I've read thousands of comic books. And I've seen thousands of cartoons. But I've never read anything as insane as this. Murderface is the saviour of some long line of inbred mental midgets, and the worst person to ever walk the earth.
Rock Zo is the only one who can stop him, think the Manchurian Candidate but without the unnecessary political intrigue.
Franky becomes a fish/ beaver who does cocaine. And Dethklok gives a performance in Cleveland, or so they think.
Throughout everything, Dethklok is drawn as Dethklok and the Goon is drawn as the Goon. I only wish it had all been in the style of t the Goon. Although as far as 15 minute long episodes go, this was one of them. And if you're lucky like I am you heard all the voices just as they sound on the show.
I do cocaine.
Hell, I might even share a line with Rock Zo. But he did it all before I got my Vietnamese Acid. And I'm pissed!
I give this book a fair grade in its own right. Although it's hard to grade a story such as this. It truly is a mind fuck, and that's what I'm gonna give it. Mindgames 1996. The first time Mick Foley, as Mankind has gotten a WWF title shot against the Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels. This has been said to be one of Mick's favorite matches of his career. And it was as crazy as you might expect with an appearance from the Undertaker and some guys from the locker room. Mick goes berzerk halfway through the match and stabs himself in the knee with a pen, to get the feeling back. And Shawn throws a hissy fit afterwards. It had all the psychology and insanity of a true Mick Foley Classic.
Wet Moon vol. 1; A Hardcore Review
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
With some of greatest facial features since Kevin Maguire's run on the Justice League, Ross Campbell 's art speaks volumes. Wet Moon's true to life dialog and story concepts make for endearing characters and some extremely funny and heartfelt situations. Campbell has crafted a series which has the necessary ingredients to become a longtime fan favorite. The central characters long for awareness and caring during the tumultuous moment in life, "college life." Cleo learns what it's like to not be on top of everyone's friend's list. However this doesn't keep her from trying to help her friend, Audrey score with the cute video store clerk. Trilby, an extrovert to Cleo's introvert, shows up to a "goth" party in a patent leather bra and bondage pants, all the while making obsurd faces at Cleo from across the room. Trilby gets drunk at the party and attempts to force herself on Cleo, who runs out of the room, allowing Trilby to collapse quietly on the couch. Only later does the reader find out Trilby is secretly a Trekie, seeking to keep her pending nerdlike tendencies from spilling out into her circle of friends.
Cleo's serious infatuation with the mysterious longhaired boy in her European Gothic Literature class, sends the mousey girl sprinting out of the room, tumbling down the stairs and into the path of Myrtle, who seems to play a more integral part in the whole master plan of Ross Campbell's opus.
From potential romantic interests like Fern and the mysterious longhaired guy, to perenial societal outcast, "The Pringles Guy," Wet Moon is full of characters that you can't help but like and root for. Ross Campbell knows how to do one of the most difficult things in comics, he writes female charaters so well. This is one of those rare things, where the words and art blend into one amazing story that you can't help but shell out your mind and emotions into. I liken Campbell to Kevin Smith in terms of his dialog, for some obvious reasons, and in the fact that the characters, no matter how extreme or different from the perceived norm of society's expectations of entertainment. Campbell has modeled the next great indy comic with Wet Moon. This volume rates a serious and rare event in ECW history. No matter what mainstream wrestling fan's thoughts on what ECW brought to the dance, the barbed wire match was not a common event in the more than eight years in the company's storied history. In 1996, during one of the most personal and remembered feuds, Raven faced off with the Sandman in one of only four known, no rope, barbed wire matches. The then World Champion Sandman, had persevered through the adversity of having Raven steal and brainwash his ex-wife, Lori and then suffered the ultimate horror, when Raven stole his 7 year old son, Tyler. The match saw, blood, and beatings, along with one of the most unexpected finishes, when Raven, attempted to deliver a tabletop piledriver to the Sandman. The table broke before the move could be finished and somehow Raven garnered the strength to cover the beleagured Sandman for his second ECW World Championship.
With some of greatest facial features since Kevin Maguire's run on the Justice League, Ross Campbell 's art speaks volumes. Wet Moon's true to life dialog and story concepts make for endearing characters and some extremely funny and heartfelt situations. Campbell has crafted a series which has the necessary ingredients to become a longtime fan favorite. The central characters long for awareness and caring during the tumultuous moment in life, "college life." Cleo learns what it's like to not be on top of everyone's friend's list. However this doesn't keep her from trying to help her friend, Audrey score with the cute video store clerk. Trilby, an extrovert to Cleo's introvert, shows up to a "goth" party in a patent leather bra and bondage pants, all the while making obsurd faces at Cleo from across the room. Trilby gets drunk at the party and attempts to force herself on Cleo, who runs out of the room, allowing Trilby to collapse quietly on the couch. Only later does the reader find out Trilby is secretly a Trekie, seeking to keep her pending nerdlike tendencies from spilling out into her circle of friends.
Cleo's serious infatuation with the mysterious longhaired boy in her European Gothic Literature class, sends the mousey girl sprinting out of the room, tumbling down the stairs and into the path of Myrtle, who seems to play a more integral part in the whole master plan of Ross Campbell's opus.
From potential romantic interests like Fern and the mysterious longhaired guy, to perenial societal outcast, "The Pringles Guy," Wet Moon is full of characters that you can't help but like and root for. Ross Campbell knows how to do one of the most difficult things in comics, he writes female charaters so well. This is one of those rare things, where the words and art blend into one amazing story that you can't help but shell out your mind and emotions into. I liken Campbell to Kevin Smith in terms of his dialog, for some obvious reasons, and in the fact that the characters, no matter how extreme or different from the perceived norm of society's expectations of entertainment. Campbell has modeled the next great indy comic with Wet Moon. This volume rates a serious and rare event in ECW history. No matter what mainstream wrestling fan's thoughts on what ECW brought to the dance, the barbed wire match was not a common event in the more than eight years in the company's storied history. In 1996, during one of the most personal and remembered feuds, Raven faced off with the Sandman in one of only four known, no rope, barbed wire matches. The then World Champion Sandman, had persevered through the adversity of having Raven steal and brainwash his ex-wife, Lori and then suffered the ultimate horror, when Raven stole his 7 year old son, Tyler. The match saw, blood, and beatings, along with one of the most unexpected finishes, when Raven, attempted to deliver a tabletop piledriver to the Sandman. The table broke before the move could be finished and somehow Raven garnered the strength to cover the beleagured Sandman for his second ECW World Championship.
Superman Doomsday: A Hardcore Review
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
Wow! That's about the nicest thing you're gonna get from this reviewer. The animation (as in the movement of characters) was good. But the redesigning of classic characters, Clark/Superman, Lois, Lex and Jimmy Olsen where unexpected and not welcome. In fact they were quite fucking distracting. Why does Kal El suddenly have cheekbones and massive laugh lines? Why does Lois suddenly look like she's Puerto Rican? And why does Jimmy Olsen look like a metrosexual fag? Not that I'm knocking anything ethnic or homosexual. I just want to know, why you took characters that were so solidly defined, visually, and auditorally and FUCK THEM UP?! Plus Lex Luthor's looking more like a chemo patient then he usually looks. And suddenly Mercy isn't a baddass cheuffer and more. And she's not a brunette either.
This movie was wrought with fucking attrocities from the jump. Why would you have "celebrities" come in and voice these iconic sounding characters too. I say "celebrities," cause having Anne Heche do her fucking Bells Palsey voice for Lois and Adam Baldwin do the shittacular voicing of Superman made my asshole pucker for 90 minutes. Adam Baldwin. Jesus, he's like lower on the food chain than Stephen Baldwin. And does Anne Heche always sound like a stroke victim? And who gives a fuck that Buffy's Spike did Lex Luthor's voice. It didn't matter. And if James Marsters, Anne Heche and Adam Baldwin are supposed to be selling points to this movie, then I'm glad I got it at Bookmans and they have a "no hassle return policy." Cause not only should I return this, but I should also burn the dvd with a lighter so it will never play again.
The idea that Doomsday was just from some pre-Christ timeline embedded in the earth, and not from Krypton, and already evolved to his Supes killing form was preposterous. I know. All you fuckers are gonna come out with, but that's too long a story to do in 90 minutes. Well, my answer is simpler than even that. "THEN DON'T DO IT!"
The idea that people come with suggestions that it's not realistic to do that story. I say this. It's a fucking cartoon and if it's easy to do it in a comic book, then it's almost as easy to do it in a cartoon. And I got my degree in animation so don't try and shine away from the issue.
This was a fucking ludicrous idea to even try this storyline if you weren't dedicated to do it right.
And this is another shot I am gonna take. Because as a reviewer I am not out to blow sunshine off anyone's ass or make friends. I am here to give my fucking opinion on the matter at hand. Bruce Timm should be appologizing to everyone who's viewed this movie, much less shelled out their money for it in a capacity where they can't return it. I refuse to appologize for my opinions. However if it is the case that you require an appology to continue this and other aticles, that here you go.... "I'm sorry that you made an inferior product and that you attempted to pass it off as a success or good. I'm also sorry that you the viewer had to see this abortion. And I'm even sorrier that you liked it and might be spiteful of my opinions on the matter at hand. I am a creator and an artist. And it is thusly my responsibility to provoke a response. That's what an artist does. That's what are is. And if you don't understand that or don't accept that, than I am sorry you're a narrow minded FUCK who has no sense of humor and or is unable to accept new ideas. And if that is the case, than I am also sorry you were "elected" president of the United States, Geroge W. Bush.
And with that I will curry my verdict.... err grade for this monumental mistake. This piece of shite garners one of the worst things to ever hit a WWE wrestling ring. And that's saying something. This is Vince McMahon coming up with the gimmick of Nick Dinsmore, and accomplished wrestler being reduced to being retarded on camera. Quite literally. Nick Dinsmore was given the gimmick of being Eric Bischoff's nephew, Eugene, complete with inside out jacket, and perenially having a note pinned to said jacket. Eugene was also given the duty of having "crazy retard strength." Some people might say that developmentally disabled people would be inspired in having themselves represented on screen. I say this, if you're going to have a particular community "represented" in the wrestling business, then have them represent themselves. Hire and train a person with Cognative Disabilty or Down Syndrome play the part. Don't condascend to me and play the lowest common denominator card. Cause all that will do is eventually make people change the channel. The character was given a finally hardcore exit, when at One Night Stand 2006, he was caned to near death by the ECW fan favorite, Sandman.
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
Wow! That's about the nicest thing you're gonna get from this reviewer. The animation (as in the movement of characters) was good. But the redesigning of classic characters, Clark/Superman, Lois, Lex and Jimmy Olsen where unexpected and not welcome. In fact they were quite fucking distracting. Why does Kal El suddenly have cheekbones and massive laugh lines? Why does Lois suddenly look like she's Puerto Rican? And why does Jimmy Olsen look like a metrosexual fag? Not that I'm knocking anything ethnic or homosexual. I just want to know, why you took characters that were so solidly defined, visually, and auditorally and FUCK THEM UP?! Plus Lex Luthor's looking more like a chemo patient then he usually looks. And suddenly Mercy isn't a baddass cheuffer and more. And she's not a brunette either.
This movie was wrought with fucking attrocities from the jump. Why would you have "celebrities" come in and voice these iconic sounding characters too. I say "celebrities," cause having Anne Heche do her fucking Bells Palsey voice for Lois and Adam Baldwin do the shittacular voicing of Superman made my asshole pucker for 90 minutes. Adam Baldwin. Jesus, he's like lower on the food chain than Stephen Baldwin. And does Anne Heche always sound like a stroke victim? And who gives a fuck that Buffy's Spike did Lex Luthor's voice. It didn't matter. And if James Marsters, Anne Heche and Adam Baldwin are supposed to be selling points to this movie, then I'm glad I got it at Bookmans and they have a "no hassle return policy." Cause not only should I return this, but I should also burn the dvd with a lighter so it will never play again.
The idea that Doomsday was just from some pre-Christ timeline embedded in the earth, and not from Krypton, and already evolved to his Supes killing form was preposterous. I know. All you fuckers are gonna come out with, but that's too long a story to do in 90 minutes. Well, my answer is simpler than even that. "THEN DON'T DO IT!"
The idea that people come with suggestions that it's not realistic to do that story. I say this. It's a fucking cartoon and if it's easy to do it in a comic book, then it's almost as easy to do it in a cartoon. And I got my degree in animation so don't try and shine away from the issue.
This was a fucking ludicrous idea to even try this storyline if you weren't dedicated to do it right.
And this is another shot I am gonna take. Because as a reviewer I am not out to blow sunshine off anyone's ass or make friends. I am here to give my fucking opinion on the matter at hand. Bruce Timm should be appologizing to everyone who's viewed this movie, much less shelled out their money for it in a capacity where they can't return it. I refuse to appologize for my opinions. However if it is the case that you require an appology to continue this and other aticles, that here you go.... "I'm sorry that you made an inferior product and that you attempted to pass it off as a success or good. I'm also sorry that you the viewer had to see this abortion. And I'm even sorrier that you liked it and might be spiteful of my opinions on the matter at hand. I am a creator and an artist. And it is thusly my responsibility to provoke a response. That's what an artist does. That's what are is. And if you don't understand that or don't accept that, than I am sorry you're a narrow minded FUCK who has no sense of humor and or is unable to accept new ideas. And if that is the case, than I am also sorry you were "elected" president of the United States, Geroge W. Bush.
And with that I will curry my verdict.... err grade for this monumental mistake. This piece of shite garners one of the worst things to ever hit a WWE wrestling ring. And that's saying something. This is Vince McMahon coming up with the gimmick of Nick Dinsmore, and accomplished wrestler being reduced to being retarded on camera. Quite literally. Nick Dinsmore was given the gimmick of being Eric Bischoff's nephew, Eugene, complete with inside out jacket, and perenially having a note pinned to said jacket. Eugene was also given the duty of having "crazy retard strength." Some people might say that developmentally disabled people would be inspired in having themselves represented on screen. I say this, if you're going to have a particular community "represented" in the wrestling business, then have them represent themselves. Hire and train a person with Cognative Disabilty or Down Syndrome play the part. Don't condascend to me and play the lowest common denominator card. Cause all that will do is eventually make people change the channel. The character was given a finally hardcore exit, when at One Night Stand 2006, he was caned to near death by the ECW fan favorite, Sandman.
Eisner/Miller; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
This was one of the most astounding pieces of comic book history I have ever had the good fortune to pick up and read. I had heard for years about the friendship and respect these two men held for each other. And I had heard about this amazing book which I just recently happened to find amidst the graphic novel section of Bookmans a month or so ago. I immediately tore into this book, which in itself is not a novelization or prose of any kind. This book is the written form of a series of conversations between comic book legend Will Eisner and renegade comics badboy, Frank Miller. Miller and Eisner have been friends for years. Although at some points during this epic conversation you get the feeling they've known each other for their entire lives, and other points maybe only a few days. However, the entirety of this work, makes for one of the most compelling arguments in favor of the comic book industry as a legitimate form of art. And then again it relates back to some of the most harsh moments of creator treatment in the annals of this great industry. Miller vies for the ideal that comic books are a renegade form of entertainment and calls for the continual pushing of limits. While Eisner asks for the continuation of the art of story telling. Ever the master of his craft, Eisner receives constant praise for his contributions to the world of art as a whole and the comic book industry in specific. The idea that two men who are so diverse in their origins and reasoning, could still hold not only each other, but the industry of comics in such high regard marks for so much in our capacity as people, and for our future as creators.
Will Eisner is a classic story teller with some of the greatest attributes of any creative team. Eisner wrote AND drew almost every project he ever worked on, including until his death in January 2005. His last piece of published work was in an issue of Michael Chabon's The Escapist, where the title character runs into Will's legendary creation, The Spirit. His, works of The New York Trilogy and A Contract With God, gave light to the creation of the graphic novel, a new form of outlet for the comic industry. Eisner has never been a fan of the costumed superhero, although The Spirit might say otherwise. Will was a child of the 1930's Great Depression. Story telling took precedence over the "art" of pop and flash. Eisner created the Spirit, adding gloves and a domino mask to fit with the new look of newspaper comic strips were turning into during this era. The character endured even though Will took several hiatus' to work for the Army to draw instructional manuals for the troops and new equipment. But his love brought him back to the 4 color art that he held dear.
Miller brought himself into the industry during the troubling 70's when getting into the business was looked at as an achievement. He began working on Daredevil and brought the character to new heights, by returning him to his human roots, and reviving some third tier Spider-Man characters and making them a menacing lot for the "Man Without Fear." Miller has long expressed a disdain for the costumed do gooder and has always harkened back to the idea of the pulps from the 30's and 40's. His seminal works in his Sin City line is brazzenly his most vicious and also his best (with respect to The Dark Knight Returns). Although, most arguably his most famous work amongst comic book readers is The Dark Knight Returns, which rose from his loathing of the idea that he continued to age, while Bruce Wayne and Batman remained the same age. He, along with Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' Watchmen brought the idea that comics were most definitely NOT just for children and have enjoyed the toying idea of bringing his vision of the Dark Knight to the silver screen.
These two legends of the field show great hope for the future as both regularly attended the SPX (Small Press Expo) in Maryland until Eisner's passing, to see the next crop of potential superstars and their personal passion and creations.
If something as simple as two friends sharing an intimate conversation about their life's work, in the most respectful tones possible, and comic books are an area of interest, then THIS IS the book for you. Eisner/Miller is a deep look at two men, from very different eras of an industry that is both great and very unforgiving. I leave you with this thought. Jack Kirby has long been called, "the king." Well, if Kirby is the king, then Eisner would be God, right?
This book rates one of the most amazing displays of athleticism and shear hardcore hatred and bravado I have ever seen. In 1996 a feud escalated between two men in ECW. One, the fan favorite who already spilled blood on several continents, Sabu, and the brash, egocentric heel, Rob Van Dam. The two had battled several times, with Sabu even extending his hand in a show of respect to the young Van Dam. The boss saw no way to settle this, other than with a match destined to become a classic, "the respect match." The loser having to publicly acknowledge his respect for the winner. Van Dam and Sabu battled back and forth for twenty minutes or more, with Van Dam securing the win with an Super Fisherman's Buster, a fisherman's suplex modified into a brainbuster from the top rope. Sabu was legitimately injured during the match, to which he was brought back to the ring by Paul Heyman so that he could fulfill his contractual obligations as per losing. Sabu, in a feat never repeated during his stay in ECW, spoke on the mic, uttering the single word, "respect" and extended his hand to Van Dam. For a second it appeared that Van Dam would finally shake Sabu's hand. But in his now famous attitude which is his trademark, Van Dam rescinded his hand and said, "Not only do I not respect you. I think you're piece of shit!" This launched the epic feud into the heated annals of ECW history.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
This was one of the most astounding pieces of comic book history I have ever had the good fortune to pick up and read. I had heard for years about the friendship and respect these two men held for each other. And I had heard about this amazing book which I just recently happened to find amidst the graphic novel section of Bookmans a month or so ago. I immediately tore into this book, which in itself is not a novelization or prose of any kind. This book is the written form of a series of conversations between comic book legend Will Eisner and renegade comics badboy, Frank Miller. Miller and Eisner have been friends for years. Although at some points during this epic conversation you get the feeling they've known each other for their entire lives, and other points maybe only a few days. However, the entirety of this work, makes for one of the most compelling arguments in favor of the comic book industry as a legitimate form of art. And then again it relates back to some of the most harsh moments of creator treatment in the annals of this great industry. Miller vies for the ideal that comic books are a renegade form of entertainment and calls for the continual pushing of limits. While Eisner asks for the continuation of the art of story telling. Ever the master of his craft, Eisner receives constant praise for his contributions to the world of art as a whole and the comic book industry in specific. The idea that two men who are so diverse in their origins and reasoning, could still hold not only each other, but the industry of comics in such high regard marks for so much in our capacity as people, and for our future as creators.
Will Eisner is a classic story teller with some of the greatest attributes of any creative team. Eisner wrote AND drew almost every project he ever worked on, including until his death in January 2005. His last piece of published work was in an issue of Michael Chabon's The Escapist, where the title character runs into Will's legendary creation, The Spirit. His, works of The New York Trilogy and A Contract With God, gave light to the creation of the graphic novel, a new form of outlet for the comic industry. Eisner has never been a fan of the costumed superhero, although The Spirit might say otherwise. Will was a child of the 1930's Great Depression. Story telling took precedence over the "art" of pop and flash. Eisner created the Spirit, adding gloves and a domino mask to fit with the new look of newspaper comic strips were turning into during this era. The character endured even though Will took several hiatus' to work for the Army to draw instructional manuals for the troops and new equipment. But his love brought him back to the 4 color art that he held dear.
Miller brought himself into the industry during the troubling 70's when getting into the business was looked at as an achievement. He began working on Daredevil and brought the character to new heights, by returning him to his human roots, and reviving some third tier Spider-Man characters and making them a menacing lot for the "Man Without Fear." Miller has long expressed a disdain for the costumed do gooder and has always harkened back to the idea of the pulps from the 30's and 40's. His seminal works in his Sin City line is brazzenly his most vicious and also his best (with respect to The Dark Knight Returns). Although, most arguably his most famous work amongst comic book readers is The Dark Knight Returns, which rose from his loathing of the idea that he continued to age, while Bruce Wayne and Batman remained the same age. He, along with Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' Watchmen brought the idea that comics were most definitely NOT just for children and have enjoyed the toying idea of bringing his vision of the Dark Knight to the silver screen.
These two legends of the field show great hope for the future as both regularly attended the SPX (Small Press Expo) in Maryland until Eisner's passing, to see the next crop of potential superstars and their personal passion and creations.
If something as simple as two friends sharing an intimate conversation about their life's work, in the most respectful tones possible, and comic books are an area of interest, then THIS IS the book for you. Eisner/Miller is a deep look at two men, from very different eras of an industry that is both great and very unforgiving. I leave you with this thought. Jack Kirby has long been called, "the king." Well, if Kirby is the king, then Eisner would be God, right?
This book rates one of the most amazing displays of athleticism and shear hardcore hatred and bravado I have ever seen. In 1996 a feud escalated between two men in ECW. One, the fan favorite who already spilled blood on several continents, Sabu, and the brash, egocentric heel, Rob Van Dam. The two had battled several times, with Sabu even extending his hand in a show of respect to the young Van Dam. The boss saw no way to settle this, other than with a match destined to become a classic, "the respect match." The loser having to publicly acknowledge his respect for the winner. Van Dam and Sabu battled back and forth for twenty minutes or more, with Van Dam securing the win with an Super Fisherman's Buster, a fisherman's suplex modified into a brainbuster from the top rope. Sabu was legitimately injured during the match, to which he was brought back to the ring by Paul Heyman so that he could fulfill his contractual obligations as per losing. Sabu, in a feat never repeated during his stay in ECW, spoke on the mic, uttering the single word, "respect" and extended his hand to Van Dam. For a second it appeared that Van Dam would finally shake Sabu's hand. But in his now famous attitude which is his trademark, Van Dam rescinded his hand and said, "Not only do I not respect you. I think you're piece of shit!" This launched the epic feud into the heated annals of ECW history.
Powergirl #4; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Reviewing today I have Powergirl issue 4 of her new ongoing series. Written by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, with art chores done by Amanda Conner. This was a really fun issue to read as the title was "Girls Night Out." PG takes Terra to a movie. Being that Terra has lived underground for her whole life, she does not know the etiquette of movie going. She is also new to the hero biz, so she isn't wearing his costume under her regular clothes, thus causing her to help fight off some goofy fairy goddess while in her tighty whities. Even theough they were black with a lady bug on it. The comic hijinks ensue as PG as Karen Starr also has to find herself a new place to live. Starrware Industries is hemorrhaging money. They haven't made any sales of their inventions and PG is sleeping on the couch in her office. This entire issue is fun and also a really good jumping on point if you missed the first few issues. And if you did, SHAME ON YOU! This is one of the first books I read when it comes in. The combination and teamwork on the creative side coupled with just the idea of PG is amazing. And yes, in every issue there are ample, pun intended, close ups of Powergirl's true superpowers, her chest's ability to defy gravity. But PG has gone from being a one note wonder in terms of her bustiness, to a very awesome character to read monthly. Her relationship in mentoring young Terra is hilarious, cause you get the impression Powergirl is really just winging it herself. I mean she's been a team with the likes of Atom Smasher, Black Canary, Wildcat, Liberty Bell, Mr. Terrific and the Golden Age Green Lantern Alan Scott and Golden Age Flash Jay Garrick. SO out on her own, Karen is a bit humbled by her responsibilities and exactly what being a solo hero means. Like when she calls for help and everyone is busy in issue 3. The lone gunman to help, the inexperienced
and often over her head Terra. But Terra's massive exuberance makes up for her being a n00b in the hero game.
I gotta say, that in a long line of artists, Amanda Conner is blooming amazingly with her characterizations of both Terra, PG and the rest of the cast of Powergirl. Her facial expressions are amazing, and along the lines of Kevin Maguire (of Justice League International fame) and the upcoming Wet Moon creator Ross Campbell. She keeps this up and I'm gonna nominate her for an Eisner in 2010. And Jimmy Palmiotti has proven that he is not a second fiddle to anyone in the creative business. You hear that Joe. He writes humor and super heroics as well as anyone. The dialog is pithy and an super amusing. Jimmy has cemented himself as one half of an up and coming creative force to be reckoned with. Justin Gray is also an amazing writer and I truly hope this team stays together on this title for a long time.
This book rates something that once had never happened in professional wrestling, a cat fight. THE cat fight in ECW. And being that is was just the 14 Anniversary of this catfight a few days ago, it fits just right. Stevie Richards had been the lackey of one Raven for some time in ECW. Raven has a valet named Beulah McGillicuty. Apparently Stevie, being a clueless putz (thanks Joey) eventually garnered a female interest from the crowd. A young Francine. Yes, that Francine. The one who turned on the Pittbulls, and managed Shane Douglas to more gold than Mr. T wears around his massive neck. Well, Rave got tired of Stevie getting some cheers and ordered Beulah to fight Francine. This was a fight down to their bra and panties type of match with a really fucked up ending. Stevie Richards superkicking the only woman who would willingly lip lock with him on camera, who wasn't already a whore (ie Missy Hyatt) or certifiable (ie Victoria, although I don't ever remember her kissing him EVAR!) In the immortal words of Joey Styles, "CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!"
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Reviewing today I have Powergirl issue 4 of her new ongoing series. Written by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, with art chores done by Amanda Conner. This was a really fun issue to read as the title was "Girls Night Out." PG takes Terra to a movie. Being that Terra has lived underground for her whole life, she does not know the etiquette of movie going. She is also new to the hero biz, so she isn't wearing his costume under her regular clothes, thus causing her to help fight off some goofy fairy goddess while in her tighty whities. Even theough they were black with a lady bug on it. The comic hijinks ensue as PG as Karen Starr also has to find herself a new place to live. Starrware Industries is hemorrhaging money. They haven't made any sales of their inventions and PG is sleeping on the couch in her office. This entire issue is fun and also a really good jumping on point if you missed the first few issues. And if you did, SHAME ON YOU! This is one of the first books I read when it comes in. The combination and teamwork on the creative side coupled with just the idea of PG is amazing. And yes, in every issue there are ample, pun intended, close ups of Powergirl's true superpowers, her chest's ability to defy gravity. But PG has gone from being a one note wonder in terms of her bustiness, to a very awesome character to read monthly. Her relationship in mentoring young Terra is hilarious, cause you get the impression Powergirl is really just winging it herself. I mean she's been a team with the likes of Atom Smasher, Black Canary, Wildcat, Liberty Bell, Mr. Terrific and the Golden Age Green Lantern Alan Scott and Golden Age Flash Jay Garrick. SO out on her own, Karen is a bit humbled by her responsibilities and exactly what being a solo hero means. Like when she calls for help and everyone is busy in issue 3. The lone gunman to help, the inexperienced
and often over her head Terra. But Terra's massive exuberance makes up for her being a n00b in the hero game.
I gotta say, that in a long line of artists, Amanda Conner is blooming amazingly with her characterizations of both Terra, PG and the rest of the cast of Powergirl. Her facial expressions are amazing, and along the lines of Kevin Maguire (of Justice League International fame) and the upcoming Wet Moon creator Ross Campbell. She keeps this up and I'm gonna nominate her for an Eisner in 2010. And Jimmy Palmiotti has proven that he is not a second fiddle to anyone in the creative business. You hear that Joe. He writes humor and super heroics as well as anyone. The dialog is pithy and an super amusing. Jimmy has cemented himself as one half of an up and coming creative force to be reckoned with. Justin Gray is also an amazing writer and I truly hope this team stays together on this title for a long time.
This book rates something that once had never happened in professional wrestling, a cat fight. THE cat fight in ECW. And being that is was just the 14 Anniversary of this catfight a few days ago, it fits just right. Stevie Richards had been the lackey of one Raven for some time in ECW. Raven has a valet named Beulah McGillicuty. Apparently Stevie, being a clueless putz (thanks Joey) eventually garnered a female interest from the crowd. A young Francine. Yes, that Francine. The one who turned on the Pittbulls, and managed Shane Douglas to more gold than Mr. T wears around his massive neck. Well, Rave got tired of Stevie getting some cheers and ordered Beulah to fight Francine. This was a fight down to their bra and panties type of match with a really fucked up ending. Stevie Richards superkicking the only woman who would willingly lip lock with him on camera, who wasn't already a whore (ie Missy Hyatt) or certifiable (ie Victoria, although I don't ever remember her kissing him EVAR!) In the immortal words of Joey Styles, "CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!"
Halloween 2 "Electric Boogaloo"; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
First off, several years ago I never thought that Rob Zombie was going to be able to direct horror. People told me he directed his own videos and I was like, "yeah, but those are videos versus a feature length film." Turns out, I was wrong. Zombie pulled out all the FUCKING stops on this one folks. This was quite possibly the most violent and visceral movie I have ever seen. Michael Myers was given a whole new look. Both his mask and himself in the point that he appeared more human than in the last flick. He grunted, he wheezed and he groaned as he stabbed the living shit out of everything in his path. Laurie Strode surely didn't stand a chance this go around. Or did she. Seems Laurie's been having some trouble sleeping for the past year, since Michael originally surfaced. It also seems like she's not quite the balanced and girl next door type of chick you'd want to take home to mommy either.
And Dr. Loomis has gotten all Hollywood and shit too. He takes no responsibility and absolves himself of any wrong doing. Now let's call a spade a spade, Michael was a fucked up little dude when he went to the sanitarium last movie. I dug that they played with his origin. In the originals if you remember he just stabbed his older sister to death and then bam, he was in the institution. What I would like to know is how a kid who's twelve goes from being four foot nothing to a twenty something who's fucking seven feet tall and weighs in at over three hundred pounds. Maybe this is the argument for Rob Zombie being a vegetarian, because of all those steroids in the beef.
This movie had me going on all cylinders, until she showed up. Why does Rob have to put his wife into every fucking project he does. I understand that Michael misses his mommy. You get that with the intro to Loomis in this flick. You get it with the fucking metaphor about White Horse when his mom gives him one in the beginning of the movie. That was it. I don't think you needed to have Sherri Moon Zombie plastered all over this film. I know Rob's in love with her. I can respect that. I know he thinks she's beautiful. Again ditto on the respect. But I think he just played into the lowest common denominator in terms of dumbing things way down for the masses. Now do you want to make a truly terrifying killer? Don't give him a reason for why he's so fucked up. This whole Fruedian mommy complex is so over done it's not even systematic anymore. I mean c'mon. Yeah. Most boys love their moms. Most boys learn early on that their mothers are their ideal of finding true happiness in terms of future love. That's a given. But his mom, was a fucking stripper. Who let herself be mistreated by her piece of shit boyfriend. So why feel compassion for someone like that. His true hatred lay with Laurie Strode, who was his baby sister that everyone said was too cute to be related to him.
I know a lot of people will disagree and say that it had more to do with how in Michael's mind he was bringing his family together by going after Laurie. I mean his mom even told him he was.
Then there's Laurie's interesting group psychosis with Michael. Interesting in that she could see what he saw. She felt what he wanted her to feel. And she began her descent into madness at the very beginning of this movie. The movie wrapped up her insanity at the very end so slyly. I say that jokingly cause there was the fucking horse again, and Sherri Moon Zombie all decked out for a "white wedding." I can justify it once or twice. But throughout the movie he has this dialog with his inner child and his mother. What would have made it more interesting would have been if the visions of his mother were coupled with the massive gunshot wound to her head when she killed herself. I just felt he was pandering too much to the masses. And he obviously felt we were too stupid to pick up on the whole white horse menagerie. I mean it didn't even coincide with him going berserk and stabbing someone to bloody meat chunks. And that was the whole thing that pissed me off with the fucking definition at the beginning of the movie. But it was all made up for with absolutely no naked titties of any kind. WTF? kinda horror movie is that, where there's no titties? You gotta be fucking kidding me!
In the actuality of the massive horrificness of this movie, I mean that visually with all the fucking gusto he put forth with the very hard R he worked for. I am going to give this movie Baptized in Blood from XPW. Their first King of the Deathmatch Tourney in which Supreme ranked, well, supreme. It is bloody goodness for the sake of shock value without the trouble of a pesky plot. Nope, no real need to think for yourself when old Rob Black is on the job. Let's just get a bunch of guys to get massive amounts of color and fall through an almost infinite amount of florescent light tubes and thumb tacks and shit like that.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
First off, several years ago I never thought that Rob Zombie was going to be able to direct horror. People told me he directed his own videos and I was like, "yeah, but those are videos versus a feature length film." Turns out, I was wrong. Zombie pulled out all the FUCKING stops on this one folks. This was quite possibly the most violent and visceral movie I have ever seen. Michael Myers was given a whole new look. Both his mask and himself in the point that he appeared more human than in the last flick. He grunted, he wheezed and he groaned as he stabbed the living shit out of everything in his path. Laurie Strode surely didn't stand a chance this go around. Or did she. Seems Laurie's been having some trouble sleeping for the past year, since Michael originally surfaced. It also seems like she's not quite the balanced and girl next door type of chick you'd want to take home to mommy either.
And Dr. Loomis has gotten all Hollywood and shit too. He takes no responsibility and absolves himself of any wrong doing. Now let's call a spade a spade, Michael was a fucked up little dude when he went to the sanitarium last movie. I dug that they played with his origin. In the originals if you remember he just stabbed his older sister to death and then bam, he was in the institution. What I would like to know is how a kid who's twelve goes from being four foot nothing to a twenty something who's fucking seven feet tall and weighs in at over three hundred pounds. Maybe this is the argument for Rob Zombie being a vegetarian, because of all those steroids in the beef.
This movie had me going on all cylinders, until she showed up. Why does Rob have to put his wife into every fucking project he does. I understand that Michael misses his mommy. You get that with the intro to Loomis in this flick. You get it with the fucking metaphor about White Horse when his mom gives him one in the beginning of the movie. That was it. I don't think you needed to have Sherri Moon Zombie plastered all over this film. I know Rob's in love with her. I can respect that. I know he thinks she's beautiful. Again ditto on the respect. But I think he just played into the lowest common denominator in terms of dumbing things way down for the masses. Now do you want to make a truly terrifying killer? Don't give him a reason for why he's so fucked up. This whole Fruedian mommy complex is so over done it's not even systematic anymore. I mean c'mon. Yeah. Most boys love their moms. Most boys learn early on that their mothers are their ideal of finding true happiness in terms of future love. That's a given. But his mom, was a fucking stripper. Who let herself be mistreated by her piece of shit boyfriend. So why feel compassion for someone like that. His true hatred lay with Laurie Strode, who was his baby sister that everyone said was too cute to be related to him.
I know a lot of people will disagree and say that it had more to do with how in Michael's mind he was bringing his family together by going after Laurie. I mean his mom even told him he was.
Then there's Laurie's interesting group psychosis with Michael. Interesting in that she could see what he saw. She felt what he wanted her to feel. And she began her descent into madness at the very beginning of this movie. The movie wrapped up her insanity at the very end so slyly. I say that jokingly cause there was the fucking horse again, and Sherri Moon Zombie all decked out for a "white wedding." I can justify it once or twice. But throughout the movie he has this dialog with his inner child and his mother. What would have made it more interesting would have been if the visions of his mother were coupled with the massive gunshot wound to her head when she killed herself. I just felt he was pandering too much to the masses. And he obviously felt we were too stupid to pick up on the whole white horse menagerie. I mean it didn't even coincide with him going berserk and stabbing someone to bloody meat chunks. And that was the whole thing that pissed me off with the fucking definition at the beginning of the movie. But it was all made up for with absolutely no naked titties of any kind. WTF? kinda horror movie is that, where there's no titties? You gotta be fucking kidding me!
In the actuality of the massive horrificness of this movie, I mean that visually with all the fucking gusto he put forth with the very hard R he worked for. I am going to give this movie Baptized in Blood from XPW. Their first King of the Deathmatch Tourney in which Supreme ranked, well, supreme. It is bloody goodness for the sake of shock value without the trouble of a pesky plot. Nope, no real need to think for yourself when old Rob Black is on the job. Let's just get a bunch of guys to get massive amounts of color and fall through an almost infinite amount of florescent light tubes and thumb tacks and shit like that.
Top Five comics of ALL TIME! and recommended reading
I bring to you on this day of infinite fucking sadness, the day that Disney Killed the Marvel Universe, a list. A list of my favorite comic books. From my Top 5 to some books that you should be reading.
My Top 5 (other than The Dark Knight Returns):
aka "the indie list"
1. Teenagers From Mars; Rick Spears (w) Rob G. (a) {Gigantic}
2. Bone; Jeff Smith (w/a) {Cartoon/ Scholastic/ image}
3. Scud, The Whole Shebang!; Rob Schrab (w/a), Mondy Carter (w), Dan Harmon (w) {Fireman Press/ image}
4. Bomb Queen vol. 1; Jimmie Robinson (w/a) {image/ Shadowline}
5. Wet Moon vol. 1; Ross Campbell (w/a) {Oni}
Recommended reading; other than the above....
Young Liars; David Lapham (DC Vertigo)
Fun With Milk & Cheese; Evan Dorkin (SLG)
Hack Slash; Tim Seeley (DDP)
Wet Moon vol. 2; Ross Campbell (Oni)
Dead @ 17; Josh Howard (Viper)
Filler; Rick Spears & Rob G. (ait Planet Lar)
Dead West; Rick Spears & Rob G. (Gigantic)
The Walking Dead; Robert Kirkman & Charlie Adlard (image)
Sin City; Frank Miller (Dark Horse)
The Spirit; Will Eisner (Eisner & Iger Studio/ DC)
Howard the Duck; Steve Gerber & Gene Colan (Marvel)
Hulk: The End; Peter David & Dale Keown (Marvel)
Weapon X; Barry Windsor Smith (Marvel)
Batman: Year One; Frank Miller & David Mazuchelli (DC)
Sam and Fuzzy; Sam Logan (webcomic @ www.samandfuzzy.com/)
Blackheart Billy; Kieron Dwyer (SLG)
Read more: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=81366536&page=7#ixzz0uEniOWdD
My Top 5 (other than The Dark Knight Returns):
aka "the indie list"
1. Teenagers From Mars; Rick Spears (w) Rob G. (a) {Gigantic}
2. Bone; Jeff Smith (w/a) {Cartoon/ Scholastic/ image}
3. Scud, The Whole Shebang!; Rob Schrab (w/a), Mondy Carter (w), Dan Harmon (w) {Fireman Press/ image}
4. Bomb Queen vol. 1; Jimmie Robinson (w/a) {image/ Shadowline}
5. Wet Moon vol. 1; Ross Campbell (w/a) {Oni}
Recommended reading; other than the above....
Young Liars; David Lapham (DC Vertigo)
Fun With Milk & Cheese; Evan Dorkin (SLG)
Hack Slash; Tim Seeley (DDP)
Wet Moon vol. 2; Ross Campbell (Oni)
Dead @ 17; Josh Howard (Viper)
Filler; Rick Spears & Rob G. (ait Planet Lar)
Dead West; Rick Spears & Rob G. (Gigantic)
The Walking Dead; Robert Kirkman & Charlie Adlard (image)
Sin City; Frank Miller (Dark Horse)
The Spirit; Will Eisner (Eisner & Iger Studio/ DC)
Howard the Duck; Steve Gerber & Gene Colan (Marvel)
Hulk: The End; Peter David & Dale Keown (Marvel)
Weapon X; Barry Windsor Smith (Marvel)
Batman: Year One; Frank Miller & David Mazuchelli (DC)
Sam and Fuzzy; Sam Logan (webcomic @ www.samandfuzzy.com/)
Blackheart Billy; Kieron Dwyer (SLG)
Read more: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=81366536&page=7#ixzz0uEniOWdD
Kill Bill; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
So, I finally watch the fourth movie by Quentin Tarantino. Wow! So his whole vision here was to simply say that a woman, no matter who she is, or how fucked up her life is, or what not, becomes a mother the instant she finds out she is pregnant. This was the stupidest piece of shit I have ever wasted my time on. I can't believe people flock to his bullshit like assholes to an asshole convention.
Tarantino once said he would never make a comic book movie cause fans of comic books are assholes. So then why did he help make one with Robert Rodriguez in Sin City? And then what was the point of the amazing bad dialog of comparing Beatrix Kiddo (quite possibly the absolute worst assassin's name in history) to Superman? Just the whole idea of this movie with it's really awful attempts at "pulp" dialog in the equally bad trailer, "I'm gonna kill Bill." You wanna know why Uma Thurman is on my most overrated list? Watch this movie where her ability to make a painful bowel movement seem like a vacation by comparison to having to listen to her droning voice and help but not look at her fugly fucking Euro-trash visage. Is Tarantino's wet dream of Uma Thurman as a mommy really such a great idea to make a movie about it? Well, for you idiots out there who masturbate yourselves to sleep while watching bile like this, the answer is yes. For someone like myself, who has a vision that isn't completely hackneyed shenanigans of monsterously goofy proportions of my obvious geekdom, I get to watch this drivel and then write about how overrated and how I now feel as if I've not only lost four hours of my life which I will never get back, but also kill more braincells than I would have if I drank my weight in Guinness and sniffed enough glue to make an elephant forget.
I live my life and my work by an ideal that I will never talk down to those who take the journey to read my comics or even my reviews. I have also sworn to a blood oath that I will continually push my craft in a direction that is worthy of you the readers. In retrospect Quentin Tarantino does not subscribe to this idea. The funny thing, or more in line catch-22 as it were, is that Q as he refers to himself in the credits, calls all of you who watch his movies, idiots, fanboys and geeks. And he mocks who you are and then laughs all the way to the bank. I ask you why would you put up with not only blatant abuse by someone who isn't fit to call himself an artist, but becoming worse as a movie maker as his career progresses. Jesus this guy is to film making what Andy Warhol was to painting. And you fuckers salivate like Pavlov's dog when you hear that he's making a new movie. Yes friends, a new movie by Q who proceeds to then shovel feed you the same bubble gum flavored bull shit that he's been trying to pass off as plot and dialog for well over a decade now.
Oh, and a word to people who call his work indie. You're deluding yourselves. Indie is not something that has a huge Hollywood budget, and shareholders. Indie is an ideal, much like punk rock was in the 70's and 80's. Versus the shite the record execs seem to think will pass as punk nowadays.
There is a lot of things I will take, but being condescended to by Frodo Baggins with a receding hairline with a hardon for shcok value and work that I wouldn't piss on if it was on fire IS NOT!
Kill Bill had some of the worst dialog I have ever had to bleed my ears through as well as the biggest plot holes in the history of EVER that I had to attempt to navigate. Fucking Lara Croft and Indiana Jones couldn't find their way through what passed for a script here folks. In fact, throwing some pop culture references into your Uma Thurman jizz rag of a script does NOT MAKE YOU INDIE! You're a fucking short sighted, short, balding, albino idiot with a penchant for the vain. At least he had the good sense to not include himself into the mix. Although that caused me to feel somewhat cheated as I always have fun watching has been actors navigate their way around Gollum waving his "precious" around in the air proclaiming, "lookit me, I'm a movie director and pop culture legend." The only thing missing here was his money shot onto Uma's fucked up face. Cause that's what this was. His unsung love for Uma Thurman who couldn't act her way out of a waitressing job at Denny's.
Action scenes galore in the movie with no discernible plot devices or meaning other than the great dialog rendered here, "I'm Buck and I'm here to fuck." Yeah you're classy and pithy and witty and you make the best movies in the world. And if it weren't for my pride, self respect, hairline and talent and drive and ability I would be just like you. Only, you know of a normal height.
Here you go. Those of you who know my disdain for anything related to Hulk Hogan knows I was saving this as my Coup de Gras thought this day might never come. This movie rates in all things hardcore the vaunted and deadly, the move that never looked good during the millions of years he thrived during the Jurassic period of pro wrestling, and all due respect to Mick Foley's opinion on the matter, the absolutely WORST finishing move on the planet and in the history of the business, the big boot and mighty, leg drop.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
So, I finally watch the fourth movie by Quentin Tarantino. Wow! So his whole vision here was to simply say that a woman, no matter who she is, or how fucked up her life is, or what not, becomes a mother the instant she finds out she is pregnant. This was the stupidest piece of shit I have ever wasted my time on. I can't believe people flock to his bullshit like assholes to an asshole convention.
Tarantino once said he would never make a comic book movie cause fans of comic books are assholes. So then why did he help make one with Robert Rodriguez in Sin City? And then what was the point of the amazing bad dialog of comparing Beatrix Kiddo (quite possibly the absolute worst assassin's name in history) to Superman? Just the whole idea of this movie with it's really awful attempts at "pulp" dialog in the equally bad trailer, "I'm gonna kill Bill." You wanna know why Uma Thurman is on my most overrated list? Watch this movie where her ability to make a painful bowel movement seem like a vacation by comparison to having to listen to her droning voice and help but not look at her fugly fucking Euro-trash visage. Is Tarantino's wet dream of Uma Thurman as a mommy really such a great idea to make a movie about it? Well, for you idiots out there who masturbate yourselves to sleep while watching bile like this, the answer is yes. For someone like myself, who has a vision that isn't completely hackneyed shenanigans of monsterously goofy proportions of my obvious geekdom, I get to watch this drivel and then write about how overrated and how I now feel as if I've not only lost four hours of my life which I will never get back, but also kill more braincells than I would have if I drank my weight in Guinness and sniffed enough glue to make an elephant forget.
I live my life and my work by an ideal that I will never talk down to those who take the journey to read my comics or even my reviews. I have also sworn to a blood oath that I will continually push my craft in a direction that is worthy of you the readers. In retrospect Quentin Tarantino does not subscribe to this idea. The funny thing, or more in line catch-22 as it were, is that Q as he refers to himself in the credits, calls all of you who watch his movies, idiots, fanboys and geeks. And he mocks who you are and then laughs all the way to the bank. I ask you why would you put up with not only blatant abuse by someone who isn't fit to call himself an artist, but becoming worse as a movie maker as his career progresses. Jesus this guy is to film making what Andy Warhol was to painting. And you fuckers salivate like Pavlov's dog when you hear that he's making a new movie. Yes friends, a new movie by Q who proceeds to then shovel feed you the same bubble gum flavored bull shit that he's been trying to pass off as plot and dialog for well over a decade now.
Oh, and a word to people who call his work indie. You're deluding yourselves. Indie is not something that has a huge Hollywood budget, and shareholders. Indie is an ideal, much like punk rock was in the 70's and 80's. Versus the shite the record execs seem to think will pass as punk nowadays.
There is a lot of things I will take, but being condescended to by Frodo Baggins with a receding hairline with a hardon for shcok value and work that I wouldn't piss on if it was on fire IS NOT!
Kill Bill had some of the worst dialog I have ever had to bleed my ears through as well as the biggest plot holes in the history of EVER that I had to attempt to navigate. Fucking Lara Croft and Indiana Jones couldn't find their way through what passed for a script here folks. In fact, throwing some pop culture references into your Uma Thurman jizz rag of a script does NOT MAKE YOU INDIE! You're a fucking short sighted, short, balding, albino idiot with a penchant for the vain. At least he had the good sense to not include himself into the mix. Although that caused me to feel somewhat cheated as I always have fun watching has been actors navigate their way around Gollum waving his "precious" around in the air proclaiming, "lookit me, I'm a movie director and pop culture legend." The only thing missing here was his money shot onto Uma's fucked up face. Cause that's what this was. His unsung love for Uma Thurman who couldn't act her way out of a waitressing job at Denny's.
Action scenes galore in the movie with no discernible plot devices or meaning other than the great dialog rendered here, "I'm Buck and I'm here to fuck." Yeah you're classy and pithy and witty and you make the best movies in the world. And if it weren't for my pride, self respect, hairline and talent and drive and ability I would be just like you. Only, you know of a normal height.
Here you go. Those of you who know my disdain for anything related to Hulk Hogan knows I was saving this as my Coup de Gras thought this day might never come. This movie rates in all things hardcore the vaunted and deadly, the move that never looked good during the millions of years he thrived during the Jurassic period of pro wrestling, and all due respect to Mick Foley's opinion on the matter, the absolutely WORST finishing move on the planet and in the history of the business, the big boot and mighty, leg drop.
P!NK Funhouse Tour; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
This was the first really big concert I have ever been to in my entire life. I knew that P!NK is one of the hardest working performers in the music industry. And from the pictures on her fan pages, her shows are just that "shows." Its was part rock concert, part Cirque d' Solei. This was epic. The set, the lighting, the pageantry. Everything. It was perfect. Her set list. The opening act. Everything. And yes, The Ting Tings opened for P!NK. And they rocked. After seeing them, I am gonna buy their album. They only played about five songs, but it was all quality. They played a great set. And I didn't know it at the time, but they are a two person team, a la The White Stripes, but more funkier.
The set up for P!NK was pretty quick. It was so worth it. The opening piece was a video montage of P!NK in her home watching shitty cable tv. She gets so frustrated that she gets dressed, downs a few drinks and then makes a trail of gasoline out to her motorcycle. She then fires up her bike and sets the gas a blaze. Her group began the cranking of a giant toy box and out popped the bleached blond bombshell. I can't remember every song she sang, but the second song she sang, "Who Knew." This was just the first tear jerker she sang. During the song, I began thinking of one of my best friends, and how she is no longer here. But the mood was infectious, and you couldn't help but sing along. P!NK rocked out song after song all the while handling about six wardrobe changes during the act. She introduced her musicians twice, which was an awesome tribute, because even though she is P!NK she always has those top notch backup singers and musicians who carry that frantic pace for two hours. She played just about every hit she had including "Get the Party Started," "Please Don't Leave Me," "So What?" "Dear Mr. President," which she amended to speak of W in the past tense and that he is still a douchebag. She closed out the two hour set with "Evil Clowns." With two gynormous inflatable clowns.
I haven't been to a large number of concerts, The Misfits; K's Choice, Tonic and the Verve Pipe; Goldfinger and of course the very first concert I ever attended, Debbie Gibson. Yes, "The Electric Youth Tour."
I really dug this show. I don't know when I will be going to another concert, but it will stick with me forever. Thank you P!NK, your entire music and dance troupe, and to The Ting Tings, you made my month of September.
Being that truly hardcore moments in wrestling now seem to come less and less often. And being that every night when P!NK gets on stage she gives everything for her fans, I salute her and this entire experience with the stretch performed by Tommy Dreamer, after having herniated two discs in his back. The man was a machine. He went out, night after night and performed to sold out crowds, who expected him to literally give his life for their enjoyment. And he nearly did. The culmination of this run, was breathed with Tommy winning the ECW World Heavyweight Championship from Taz at CyberSlam in 2000. After which Tommy made a run with CW Anderson having an "I Quit" match at ECW's final pay per view, Guilty as Charged in 2001.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
This was the first really big concert I have ever been to in my entire life. I knew that P!NK is one of the hardest working performers in the music industry. And from the pictures on her fan pages, her shows are just that "shows." Its was part rock concert, part Cirque d' Solei. This was epic. The set, the lighting, the pageantry. Everything. It was perfect. Her set list. The opening act. Everything. And yes, The Ting Tings opened for P!NK. And they rocked. After seeing them, I am gonna buy their album. They only played about five songs, but it was all quality. They played a great set. And I didn't know it at the time, but they are a two person team, a la The White Stripes, but more funkier.
The set up for P!NK was pretty quick. It was so worth it. The opening piece was a video montage of P!NK in her home watching shitty cable tv. She gets so frustrated that she gets dressed, downs a few drinks and then makes a trail of gasoline out to her motorcycle. She then fires up her bike and sets the gas a blaze. Her group began the cranking of a giant toy box and out popped the bleached blond bombshell. I can't remember every song she sang, but the second song she sang, "Who Knew." This was just the first tear jerker she sang. During the song, I began thinking of one of my best friends, and how she is no longer here. But the mood was infectious, and you couldn't help but sing along. P!NK rocked out song after song all the while handling about six wardrobe changes during the act. She introduced her musicians twice, which was an awesome tribute, because even though she is P!NK she always has those top notch backup singers and musicians who carry that frantic pace for two hours. She played just about every hit she had including "Get the Party Started," "Please Don't Leave Me," "So What?" "Dear Mr. President," which she amended to speak of W in the past tense and that he is still a douchebag. She closed out the two hour set with "Evil Clowns." With two gynormous inflatable clowns.
I haven't been to a large number of concerts, The Misfits; K's Choice, Tonic and the Verve Pipe; Goldfinger and of course the very first concert I ever attended, Debbie Gibson. Yes, "The Electric Youth Tour."
I really dug this show. I don't know when I will be going to another concert, but it will stick with me forever. Thank you P!NK, your entire music and dance troupe, and to The Ting Tings, you made my month of September.
Being that truly hardcore moments in wrestling now seem to come less and less often. And being that every night when P!NK gets on stage she gives everything for her fans, I salute her and this entire experience with the stretch performed by Tommy Dreamer, after having herniated two discs in his back. The man was a machine. He went out, night after night and performed to sold out crowds, who expected him to literally give his life for their enjoyment. And he nearly did. The culmination of this run, was breathed with Tommy winning the ECW World Heavyweight Championship from Taz at CyberSlam in 2000. After which Tommy made a run with CW Anderson having an "I Quit" match at ECW's final pay per view, Guilty as Charged in 2001.
Superman/Batman: Public Enemies; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Today's review is the newly released Superman Batman: Public Enemies, based upon the story arc that relaunched World's Finest regular teamup of Supes and The Dark Knight, written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by Ed McGuinness. This movie was pretty true to the source material, while being itself an isolated animated feature on its own. First off, having Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly and Clancy Brown reprise their voice roles as Batman, Superman and Lex Luthor respectively. The animation was very much resembling Ed McGuinness' work. I was satisfied with the story, knowing that the best adaptions usually come in the form of animation. They can do everyting they do in comics in an animated form.
The elements were there, with all the badguys coming out of the woodwork to try and collect a bounty on Superman.
President Luthor's recruited henchmen, led by Captain Atom and Powergirl, who was freaking dead on with the voice of Alison Mack, and the animation which pegged her for McGuinness' art clone. I dug it alot. Especially the way they handled "Toyman" and PG's altercation. Classic and done in a way which made Kara handle herself much better than how Loeb wrote that whole scenario. I mean c'mon, if Superman is really intelligent and it is aided by Earth's yellow sun, then it stands to reason that Powergirl who gains her powers also from the yellow sun of Earth, she too would be intelligent.
The story altered from the Cloak and Dagger espionage in the White House scenes from the comic. But they were equally effective and well thought out. You can tell the writers had fun working on this project and respecting the source material, while simultaneously adding their own twists and turns.
The animation was really solid. I say solid and not fantastic because mainly 2D mixed with elements of 3D has not yet been perfected and always looks quirky and clumsy to someone who got their degree in animation. Hey, not only am I writing a review, and doing it on a comic book based animated feature, but I am also using my degree. Sweet!
I won't spoil the plot, the ending or any of the bonus stuffs. Which are aplenty. However, the Best Buy exclusive version with the Batman figure, which is Special Edition with a digital copy, is a two inch figure and is more of a figurine than anything with not great detail. However, it is one dollar cheaper than the special edition without the figure. Other let downs were, that the digital copy had to be downloaded off a website and was not an extra disc, which caused me to not be able to watch it while doing my overnight, as I had picked up the BluRay and not taken my PS3 with me. Another let down is that there is no main menu. Be careful with that "select" button when accessing the options. You have all the special features right there with having to scroll all the way to the bottom to actually play the freaking movie. Other than that, after watching the abortion that was Superman: Doomsday, this was a right on schedule, right height and weight healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes.
Being that I am a purest to comics, but one who understands that Hollywood "can't" and sometimes just fucking won't do certain things with movie versions of the four color genius, I appreciated this movie a lot. I loved that they brought back all the key voice actors, and had both Voice Casting Director Andrea Romano do the voice of Giganta, but also Bruce Timm (if you need me to explain it will take too long) doing the voice of Mongul. This was tip top and hey, Powergirl had nice thighs, big tits and a bubble butt so what could I complain about. I give this flick a grade it deserves, just like this moment in hardcore wrestling history: (WWE)ECW's One Night Stand 2006, where Rob Van Dam finally got the title belt. Cena came out to a chorus of boos, by the ECW faithful, as well as a three minute stint of fighting with the fans who kept throwing his shirt back into the ring. It was fucking classic. RVD finally won the big one. He deserved it, and to that point, was the only wrestler who truly deserved it. The following Tuesday, ECW on Sci Fi was launched and RVD christened the WWE belt the ECW World Heavyweight Championship. Rob, this one is for you, and Sonya. The quote from Rob to Heyman was spot on when asked what he was gonna do with the WWE belt after relaunching the ECW title. Rob's answer was simple and true "ECW" RVD, "I'm gonna keep it too. Look, it spins."
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Today's review is the newly released Superman Batman: Public Enemies, based upon the story arc that relaunched World's Finest regular teamup of Supes and The Dark Knight, written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by Ed McGuinness. This movie was pretty true to the source material, while being itself an isolated animated feature on its own. First off, having Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly and Clancy Brown reprise their voice roles as Batman, Superman and Lex Luthor respectively. The animation was very much resembling Ed McGuinness' work. I was satisfied with the story, knowing that the best adaptions usually come in the form of animation. They can do everyting they do in comics in an animated form.
The elements were there, with all the badguys coming out of the woodwork to try and collect a bounty on Superman.
President Luthor's recruited henchmen, led by Captain Atom and Powergirl, who was freaking dead on with the voice of Alison Mack, and the animation which pegged her for McGuinness' art clone. I dug it alot. Especially the way they handled "Toyman" and PG's altercation. Classic and done in a way which made Kara handle herself much better than how Loeb wrote that whole scenario. I mean c'mon, if Superman is really intelligent and it is aided by Earth's yellow sun, then it stands to reason that Powergirl who gains her powers also from the yellow sun of Earth, she too would be intelligent.
The story altered from the Cloak and Dagger espionage in the White House scenes from the comic. But they were equally effective and well thought out. You can tell the writers had fun working on this project and respecting the source material, while simultaneously adding their own twists and turns.
The animation was really solid. I say solid and not fantastic because mainly 2D mixed with elements of 3D has not yet been perfected and always looks quirky and clumsy to someone who got their degree in animation. Hey, not only am I writing a review, and doing it on a comic book based animated feature, but I am also using my degree. Sweet!
I won't spoil the plot, the ending or any of the bonus stuffs. Which are aplenty. However, the Best Buy exclusive version with the Batman figure, which is Special Edition with a digital copy, is a two inch figure and is more of a figurine than anything with not great detail. However, it is one dollar cheaper than the special edition without the figure. Other let downs were, that the digital copy had to be downloaded off a website and was not an extra disc, which caused me to not be able to watch it while doing my overnight, as I had picked up the BluRay and not taken my PS3 with me. Another let down is that there is no main menu. Be careful with that "select" button when accessing the options. You have all the special features right there with having to scroll all the way to the bottom to actually play the freaking movie. Other than that, after watching the abortion that was Superman: Doomsday, this was a right on schedule, right height and weight healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes.
Being that I am a purest to comics, but one who understands that Hollywood "can't" and sometimes just fucking won't do certain things with movie versions of the four color genius, I appreciated this movie a lot. I loved that they brought back all the key voice actors, and had both Voice Casting Director Andrea Romano do the voice of Giganta, but also Bruce Timm (if you need me to explain it will take too long) doing the voice of Mongul. This was tip top and hey, Powergirl had nice thighs, big tits and a bubble butt so what could I complain about. I give this flick a grade it deserves, just like this moment in hardcore wrestling history: (WWE)ECW's One Night Stand 2006, where Rob Van Dam finally got the title belt. Cena came out to a chorus of boos, by the ECW faithful, as well as a three minute stint of fighting with the fans who kept throwing his shirt back into the ring. It was fucking classic. RVD finally won the big one. He deserved it, and to that point, was the only wrestler who truly deserved it. The following Tuesday, ECW on Sci Fi was launched and RVD christened the WWE belt the ECW World Heavyweight Championship. Rob, this one is for you, and Sonya. The quote from Rob to Heyman was spot on when asked what he was gonna do with the WWE belt after relaunching the ECW title. Rob's answer was simple and true "ECW" RVD, "I'm gonna keep it too. Look, it spins."
Box Office Poison; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Today I review Alex Robinson's Box Office Poison. The book itself is a tome. Starring the protagonist Sherman as he moves into a room in Steven and Jane's apartment. Sherman works at Mathew's Book Emporium and is an aspiring writer. Right off you know this is going to be an interesting story because of the room Sherman moves into. Trust me, it is pretty eclectic. Sherman is seconded by his buddy Ed, whom he met in college. Ed is an aspiring comic book artist, but works at his dad's hardware store.
At the new apartment party Sherman meets Dorothy, who is stuck in the bars of the fire escape outside of Sherman's window. There is an immediate attraction and Sherman asks her out on a date. There's one hitch. He never asked her what her name is. So, a la Seinfeld, he has to find a way to figure out her name. Cant' ask someone their name when you've already asked them out, can you?
Meanwhile Ed, who is in his mid twenties, and harking on his quest to lose his virginity is a troubled man. He goes to Zoom Comics to have a job interview, and is told he needs a little seasoning. The interviewer sends Ed to an older artist to become his assistant. Ed resents the idea but goes along with it none the less. I mean any dream you have is worth sacrificing yourself a little. His boss is a tiny man with a massive bite. He is Irving Flavor, and Ed's life will never be the same.
Steven and Jane, Sherman's new roommates are something else entirely. Steven is a history professor at the local university with a penchant for Theodore Roosevelt. Jane is a cartoonist who is working on a biographical cartoon.
The side stories in this book, which some people may feel are just filler are some of the best parts. The little punk raver girls who you eventually find out are runaways even have a past that Robinson shows us.
It is a tough tough world out there and Alex Robinson handles "slice of life" as well or better than some of the super huge names out there, like Terry Moore. There were points where I was reading for hours and didn't even know it, I was so drawn into the characters. Robinson also pays tribute to the men who came before him with Irving Flavor's story. It's done really well and would make Siegel, Shuster, Kirby, Finger and Robinson proud. The unsung heroes of this industry. At least until the 60's and 70's when Neal Adams helped get the Superman creative team onto the map. We're still waiting for DC to rightfully respect the efforts of Robinson, and Finger. And for Marvel to give just due to Kirby.
So in summation, if you enjoy slice of life stories, this one is for you. Box Office Poison and books like it are the reason I read comics. I mean there is something for everyone in this industry. BOP is no exception. It is done extremely well, and written with a lot of love and reverence for the characters. I give this book a series of moments in hardcore wrestling history including one that got ECW thrown off a lot of syndicated networks. The Raven/Dreamer/Beulah love triangle, which became the Beulah/Dreamer/Wanalaya love triangle and the first lesbian kiss on screen in wrestling history. Classic stuff from ECW way before Bischoff tried it with Hot Lesbian Action almost a decade later. Thing is ECW had always been counter culture and in your face. They were syndicated. There was no ratings war for them. It was all about telling compelling stories and having the best action in the ring. There was a lot of love in the locker room of ECW. These people fought and some even died for what they believed in and loved. That's what it's all about.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Today I review Alex Robinson's Box Office Poison. The book itself is a tome. Starring the protagonist Sherman as he moves into a room in Steven and Jane's apartment. Sherman works at Mathew's Book Emporium and is an aspiring writer. Right off you know this is going to be an interesting story because of the room Sherman moves into. Trust me, it is pretty eclectic. Sherman is seconded by his buddy Ed, whom he met in college. Ed is an aspiring comic book artist, but works at his dad's hardware store.
At the new apartment party Sherman meets Dorothy, who is stuck in the bars of the fire escape outside of Sherman's window. There is an immediate attraction and Sherman asks her out on a date. There's one hitch. He never asked her what her name is. So, a la Seinfeld, he has to find a way to figure out her name. Cant' ask someone their name when you've already asked them out, can you?
Meanwhile Ed, who is in his mid twenties, and harking on his quest to lose his virginity is a troubled man. He goes to Zoom Comics to have a job interview, and is told he needs a little seasoning. The interviewer sends Ed to an older artist to become his assistant. Ed resents the idea but goes along with it none the less. I mean any dream you have is worth sacrificing yourself a little. His boss is a tiny man with a massive bite. He is Irving Flavor, and Ed's life will never be the same.
Steven and Jane, Sherman's new roommates are something else entirely. Steven is a history professor at the local university with a penchant for Theodore Roosevelt. Jane is a cartoonist who is working on a biographical cartoon.
The side stories in this book, which some people may feel are just filler are some of the best parts. The little punk raver girls who you eventually find out are runaways even have a past that Robinson shows us.
It is a tough tough world out there and Alex Robinson handles "slice of life" as well or better than some of the super huge names out there, like Terry Moore. There were points where I was reading for hours and didn't even know it, I was so drawn into the characters. Robinson also pays tribute to the men who came before him with Irving Flavor's story. It's done really well and would make Siegel, Shuster, Kirby, Finger and Robinson proud. The unsung heroes of this industry. At least until the 60's and 70's when Neal Adams helped get the Superman creative team onto the map. We're still waiting for DC to rightfully respect the efforts of Robinson, and Finger. And for Marvel to give just due to Kirby.
So in summation, if you enjoy slice of life stories, this one is for you. Box Office Poison and books like it are the reason I read comics. I mean there is something for everyone in this industry. BOP is no exception. It is done extremely well, and written with a lot of love and reverence for the characters. I give this book a series of moments in hardcore wrestling history including one that got ECW thrown off a lot of syndicated networks. The Raven/Dreamer/Beulah love triangle, which became the Beulah/Dreamer/Wanalaya love triangle and the first lesbian kiss on screen in wrestling history. Classic stuff from ECW way before Bischoff tried it with Hot Lesbian Action almost a decade later. Thing is ECW had always been counter culture and in your face. They were syndicated. There was no ratings war for them. It was all about telling compelling stories and having the best action in the ring. There was a lot of love in the locker room of ECW. These people fought and some even died for what they believed in and loved. That's what it's all about.
Smokes and Guns; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Today's review is of Smoke and Guns, the graphic novel by Kirsten Baldock and Fabio Moon. This was an exciting story from the jump. Baldock's pacing of the high and low action moments of this story are great. And Gabriel Moon's line work is amazing. This is the story of cigarette girls in a big city, ruled by districts. Think of the cigarette girls as roving gangs selling product you can only get from them. Think of an idea of a competitive market for tobacco. Remember the efforts that gangs go through to protect their territory and the lengths they will go to to delve into new territory. Each district set of girls has a theme of how they dress, The China Dolls etc. The story reminded me of Sin City and Old Town how the women their doled out their own brand of justice to those who crossed them. Now give the protagonist a real John McClane kinda cowboy mentality but in high heels and long blond hair. The story itself spins so quickly that you're done with it before you know it and you're wanting more. That's the way to pace a story. Always leave 'em wanting more. The action and characterization was fantastic and very un-Shakespearean in that this was not a tragedy. If anything it was more of an action comedy buddy cop flick kind of feeling. Riggs and Murtaugh, Nolte and Murphy, Biden and Obama. I mean the limits are endless. This was Baldock's first work in the comic's field, and Moon's first work without his brother. Both did an outstanding job and Baldock has left a gap now. She has to do another graphic novel. And soon. While not writing kick ass comic books, Kirsten Baldock can be found at Isotope the comic book lounge, selling comics or tending bar at one of the many Isotope after hours functions.
This is a tough grade to give, because I really want to give it a moment having female involvement in the history of wrestling. But you're in luck cause I just remembered one. Heat Wave 1996. The four way dance for the ECW World Television Title between then champion Chris "Lionheart" Jericho, Too Cold Scorpio, Pit Bull #2 and perennial heel Shane Douglas. The match sees Jericho eliminated first, with Pit Bull #2 aligning with Douglas to take out the man who pinned Jericho, Too Cold Scorpio. Then the unthinkable happens. Francine, the "Beast Master" and manager of the Pit Bulls turns on #2 and helps Douglas win the TV belt. For her betrayal Francine is Super Bombed through a table by Pit Bull #2. Shane Douglas uses a modified DDT on Pit Bull #1 and breaks his neck. Creating a devout hatred for the Franchise and helping him attain legendary heel status that lasted almost ten years until Gary Wolf (Pit Bull #1) fought Shane Douglas in a "Dog Collar" match at Hardcore Homecoming November Reign in 2005.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Today's review is of Smoke and Guns, the graphic novel by Kirsten Baldock and Fabio Moon. This was an exciting story from the jump. Baldock's pacing of the high and low action moments of this story are great. And Gabriel Moon's line work is amazing. This is the story of cigarette girls in a big city, ruled by districts. Think of the cigarette girls as roving gangs selling product you can only get from them. Think of an idea of a competitive market for tobacco. Remember the efforts that gangs go through to protect their territory and the lengths they will go to to delve into new territory. Each district set of girls has a theme of how they dress, The China Dolls etc. The story reminded me of Sin City and Old Town how the women their doled out their own brand of justice to those who crossed them. Now give the protagonist a real John McClane kinda cowboy mentality but in high heels and long blond hair. The story itself spins so quickly that you're done with it before you know it and you're wanting more. That's the way to pace a story. Always leave 'em wanting more. The action and characterization was fantastic and very un-Shakespearean in that this was not a tragedy. If anything it was more of an action comedy buddy cop flick kind of feeling. Riggs and Murtaugh, Nolte and Murphy, Biden and Obama. I mean the limits are endless. This was Baldock's first work in the comic's field, and Moon's first work without his brother. Both did an outstanding job and Baldock has left a gap now. She has to do another graphic novel. And soon. While not writing kick ass comic books, Kirsten Baldock can be found at Isotope the comic book lounge, selling comics or tending bar at one of the many Isotope after hours functions.
This is a tough grade to give, because I really want to give it a moment having female involvement in the history of wrestling. But you're in luck cause I just remembered one. Heat Wave 1996. The four way dance for the ECW World Television Title between then champion Chris "Lionheart" Jericho, Too Cold Scorpio, Pit Bull #2 and perennial heel Shane Douglas. The match sees Jericho eliminated first, with Pit Bull #2 aligning with Douglas to take out the man who pinned Jericho, Too Cold Scorpio. Then the unthinkable happens. Francine, the "Beast Master" and manager of the Pit Bulls turns on #2 and helps Douglas win the TV belt. For her betrayal Francine is Super Bombed through a table by Pit Bull #2. Shane Douglas uses a modified DDT on Pit Bull #1 and breaks his neck. Creating a devout hatred for the Franchise and helping him attain legendary heel status that lasted almost ten years until Gary Wolf (Pit Bull #1) fought Shane Douglas in a "Dog Collar" match at Hardcore Homecoming November Reign in 2005.
Kirby King of Comics: A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
I read the except that appeared in an issue of Wizard magazine. And I dug it a lot. I have fallen off when it comes to the pioneers of the comic book industry. I don't really acknowledge my roots as it were in that regard. So I was really glad to read this book which gave such a great perspective on the man who co-created over half of the modern Marvel Universe and made such an impact on the industry that fifty years from now, people will still read his work and artists will still be influenced by his art.
Jack Kirby is simply one of a very select few who could be anointed into comic book godhood. Knowing his life story and how all he really wanted out of all of this is stuff that is virtually guaranteed to people who are doing less than spectacular work now. He wanted to be acknowledged, respected and have some financial security, as well as some creative say so in his life. That's really not a lot to ask for a man who drew a thirty plus page comic book over the course of a weekend. And that was while he was working on other projects too. Kirby was simply a machine. He worked hard, and he loved what he did, while it simultaneously tore him apart inside. Jack just wanted the respect people slather all over Stan Lee. Kirby just didn't want to become a footnote in the history of this industry. He never will though. Jack Kirby will always be a legend in the field. More than ten years after his passing people still remember the man, and his amazing lineage of work. This was a man who on a regular basis turned out 18 interior pages plus 8 or nine covers a week. Holy shit! The standard now for professionals is ONE page a day. Just one. And sometimes that can be like pulling teeth. I for one don't know if I could live up to those terms that Kirby set.
He was driven and focused, mainly because he desired to be a man who could provide for his family above all else. But at the same time, he was down to earth and humbled by the daunting task of being the measuring stick for an entire industry, whether it was good or bad. I mean there were editors who wanted Kirby to not be Kirby. If that is even fathomable. Jack is one of the first people to really make art POP off the page by breaking the barriers of the panels. This is something I love to do on a regular basis and I have been chastised by a few editors who say not to do it unless it propels the story. I think that is what makes it necessary, not simply propelling the story, but adding graphic impact to a page. Making it dynamic. Giving the pages ZAZZ! Kirby believed that you needed to have dynamic artwork inside the comics otherwise people wouldn't stick around for the next issue. If the art sucks or doesn't make you want to jump out of your seat, then you might as well be reading a book.
The writer of Kirby's life, Mark Evanier weaved a truly great tale of the master. Kirby didn't want any sway good or bad about his life. He wanted it to be honest. And I feel Evanier did his request true justice. The book was so well put together with art being contributed from people's private collections as well as the excerpts about Jack's contemporaries and how they contributed to his legacy.
I think knowing where we come from is an important thing. As of late I have been taking more of an interest in the history and lives of the earlier greats of this field like Eisner and Kirby, after looking mostly at modern artists of the past twenty years. Jack Kirby truly defined hard work and passion for his craft. I got into comics in a bigger capacity after Kirby's passing. Not that I wouldn't have known who Kirby was. If you're an artist in this field, it's hard not to hear his name every time you walk into a comic book shop. It's tough to not compare your work to those who once passed through these halls. And it's really tough to still have the drive to create after knowing that it's all been done before, and probably better too. But seeing Jack's work, and hearing his own thoughts and ideas, makes me want to create even more.
This is such a hard grade to give. Because essentially I am giving the grade to the man, as well as the book about his life. And for that, I have to go to another measuring stick, in another industry. Ric Flair. The man wrestled for more than three decades. He was a master of his craft. And a top notch performer in every sense of the word. I gauge his work with Dusty Rhodes in a steel cage at Starcade in the early 80's for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship belt as one of the greatest, and most grizzly sights. This is a few years after Flair broke his back in a plane crash and could have easily bowed out of the sport with nobody blaming him. He only went on to win the World Title 16 times. And having hundreds of matches with each of his contemporaries during the late seventies and all of the 80's he made a mark that could not be equaled in work rates, or performance. So from one measuring stick to another. My grade is Dusty Rhodes versus Ric Flair inside of a ten foot high steel cage. Where Flair delivers another "five alarm" blade job and makes us all believe. Flair put Dusty over so high in that match, it was just about perfect in every way.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
I read the except that appeared in an issue of Wizard magazine. And I dug it a lot. I have fallen off when it comes to the pioneers of the comic book industry. I don't really acknowledge my roots as it were in that regard. So I was really glad to read this book which gave such a great perspective on the man who co-created over half of the modern Marvel Universe and made such an impact on the industry that fifty years from now, people will still read his work and artists will still be influenced by his art.
Jack Kirby is simply one of a very select few who could be anointed into comic book godhood. Knowing his life story and how all he really wanted out of all of this is stuff that is virtually guaranteed to people who are doing less than spectacular work now. He wanted to be acknowledged, respected and have some financial security, as well as some creative say so in his life. That's really not a lot to ask for a man who drew a thirty plus page comic book over the course of a weekend. And that was while he was working on other projects too. Kirby was simply a machine. He worked hard, and he loved what he did, while it simultaneously tore him apart inside. Jack just wanted the respect people slather all over Stan Lee. Kirby just didn't want to become a footnote in the history of this industry. He never will though. Jack Kirby will always be a legend in the field. More than ten years after his passing people still remember the man, and his amazing lineage of work. This was a man who on a regular basis turned out 18 interior pages plus 8 or nine covers a week. Holy shit! The standard now for professionals is ONE page a day. Just one. And sometimes that can be like pulling teeth. I for one don't know if I could live up to those terms that Kirby set.
He was driven and focused, mainly because he desired to be a man who could provide for his family above all else. But at the same time, he was down to earth and humbled by the daunting task of being the measuring stick for an entire industry, whether it was good or bad. I mean there were editors who wanted Kirby to not be Kirby. If that is even fathomable. Jack is one of the first people to really make art POP off the page by breaking the barriers of the panels. This is something I love to do on a regular basis and I have been chastised by a few editors who say not to do it unless it propels the story. I think that is what makes it necessary, not simply propelling the story, but adding graphic impact to a page. Making it dynamic. Giving the pages ZAZZ! Kirby believed that you needed to have dynamic artwork inside the comics otherwise people wouldn't stick around for the next issue. If the art sucks or doesn't make you want to jump out of your seat, then you might as well be reading a book.
The writer of Kirby's life, Mark Evanier weaved a truly great tale of the master. Kirby didn't want any sway good or bad about his life. He wanted it to be honest. And I feel Evanier did his request true justice. The book was so well put together with art being contributed from people's private collections as well as the excerpts about Jack's contemporaries and how they contributed to his legacy.
I think knowing where we come from is an important thing. As of late I have been taking more of an interest in the history and lives of the earlier greats of this field like Eisner and Kirby, after looking mostly at modern artists of the past twenty years. Jack Kirby truly defined hard work and passion for his craft. I got into comics in a bigger capacity after Kirby's passing. Not that I wouldn't have known who Kirby was. If you're an artist in this field, it's hard not to hear his name every time you walk into a comic book shop. It's tough to not compare your work to those who once passed through these halls. And it's really tough to still have the drive to create after knowing that it's all been done before, and probably better too. But seeing Jack's work, and hearing his own thoughts and ideas, makes me want to create even more.
This is such a hard grade to give. Because essentially I am giving the grade to the man, as well as the book about his life. And for that, I have to go to another measuring stick, in another industry. Ric Flair. The man wrestled for more than three decades. He was a master of his craft. And a top notch performer in every sense of the word. I gauge his work with Dusty Rhodes in a steel cage at Starcade in the early 80's for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship belt as one of the greatest, and most grizzly sights. This is a few years after Flair broke his back in a plane crash and could have easily bowed out of the sport with nobody blaming him. He only went on to win the World Title 16 times. And having hundreds of matches with each of his contemporaries during the late seventies and all of the 80's he made a mark that could not be equaled in work rates, or performance. So from one measuring stick to another. My grade is Dusty Rhodes versus Ric Flair inside of a ten foot high steel cage. Where Flair delivers another "five alarm" blade job and makes us all believe. Flair put Dusty over so high in that match, it was just about perfect in every way.
MC Chris is Dead: A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
I snagged this whole album off of iTunes after listening to the mini byte of Hoodie Ninja. This whole album is pure comedy Nerdcore hip-hop gold. MC Chris still self distributes his work. Meaning he is a lot like the small press guys in comics. I have a ton of respect for MC Chris in that he has a boatload of talent and he has the ability to laugh at himself. Tracks like Nrrrd Grrrl and Rollercoaster are freaking amazing. The sketches are fantastic, Metaphor and Magic are goddamned hilarious. And the final hidden track on the "Black" version of this album is worth the wait and tiny bit of extra cash for the download. But Fallen is perhaps my favorite track on the album. I gotta say MC Chris is an amazing MC and if he never makes it big it is a fucking crime. You gotta hear the amazing spin and twisted funny lyrics are priceless.
My grade for this most original hip hop album EVER made takes you back to 1997 and the ECW Arena. Rumor had it that Tod Gordon had tried to sell out the promotion to WCW and certain workers were on the list of turncoats. That included Bill Alphonso, Rob Van Dam and Sabu's manager. He was put into a mixed tag match with his boy RVD against team player Tommy Dreamer and Beulah. It ended up that Rob skipped out and left the arena, but not after kicking Tommy's ass, keeping him out of the 1 on 1 matchup with Fonzie versus Beulah. Fonzie bladed and lost a shit ton of blood. Rumor has it that it was 1/3 of his blood. He and Beulah pulled off a five minute war of bloody proportions. Beulah came out on top as the teachings of Tommy paid off. The match is said to have saved Fonzie's job in ECW.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
I snagged this whole album off of iTunes after listening to the mini byte of Hoodie Ninja. This whole album is pure comedy Nerdcore hip-hop gold. MC Chris still self distributes his work. Meaning he is a lot like the small press guys in comics. I have a ton of respect for MC Chris in that he has a boatload of talent and he has the ability to laugh at himself. Tracks like Nrrrd Grrrl and Rollercoaster are freaking amazing. The sketches are fantastic, Metaphor and Magic are goddamned hilarious. And the final hidden track on the "Black" version of this album is worth the wait and tiny bit of extra cash for the download. But Fallen is perhaps my favorite track on the album. I gotta say MC Chris is an amazing MC and if he never makes it big it is a fucking crime. You gotta hear the amazing spin and twisted funny lyrics are priceless.
My grade for this most original hip hop album EVER made takes you back to 1997 and the ECW Arena. Rumor had it that Tod Gordon had tried to sell out the promotion to WCW and certain workers were on the list of turncoats. That included Bill Alphonso, Rob Van Dam and Sabu's manager. He was put into a mixed tag match with his boy RVD against team player Tommy Dreamer and Beulah. It ended up that Rob skipped out and left the arena, but not after kicking Tommy's ass, keeping him out of the 1 on 1 matchup with Fonzie versus Beulah. Fonzie bladed and lost a shit ton of blood. Rumor has it that it was 1/3 of his blood. He and Beulah pulled off a five minute war of bloody proportions. Beulah came out on top as the teachings of Tommy paid off. The match is said to have saved Fonzie's job in ECW.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Taking Fuzzyface National!
So, I have actually begun the quest of taking my project Fuzzyface national. Well, to be fair it's not just my project, Venus of Necro wrote it, but since I am the publisher, I am given the job of researching how to get this book out to the masses. It is going to take some work, but one thing is certain, I CAN DO THIS! I believe I can. Part of taking Fuzzyface national is a huge hurdle, funding. How do I get funding to take this story, that I know people will enjoy and clamor for? Well, I have learned a couple of things dabbling with the internet. It's cool, not only can I look up crazy shit on this thing, it's also very useful. I have found a few sites that will and or can help with this. kickstarter.com is one. They allow you to pursue funding through their site through private donors who log on and donate money to projects they like. Kickstarter.com will also be doing a panel at this year's San Diego Comic Con. I will be attending that panel.
Another option for funding is getting a grant. There are thousands of organizations that offer small business grants and service awards to anyone who works hard enough and goes out and does the leg work. Through Charlie Harris at Charlies Comics here in Tucson, I learned of the Xeric Foundation, which offers grants to self publishers of comic books. There is a six step process I have to submit to the review board. Part of which is a business plan; an expenditure report on how much I am going to ask for and then the distribution of the grant monies. Now most of the grant money would go towards the self publishing. Paying the press, the bindery if they're separate. Buying an ISBN if I need it. It would be helpful. And then buying copies of my book. These online publishing companies offer print on demand services, which limit cost and waste. Plus you don't have to sit on a huge inventory or rent a warehouse or ship things yourself. They drop ship for you. Or offer you to sell through an affiliate website. So, cost would be minimal, in as much as I would print several hundred copies to take to conventions and sell at comic book shops. The rest could be purchased online. And then there is the talent that has to be paid. As the artist, I'm not going to pay myself upfront, but with profits from sales. Venus is receiving a portion of the sales of the book, however she deserves a payment for the writing of the book. And then of course if this thing really blew up, like changing media (movies, video games etc.) Venus and I would renegotiate her earnings, as usually happens when something goes big time.
I was also thinking of trying to get the book carried through a small press company such as Oni, Top Shelf, SLG, Image or Darkhorse. The reality of that might not be so good though. Especially since one of my requirements is that the Anti-Hero Brand Press logo stays on the project. Cause it's my book. They're just helping distribute it. Kinda like Disney distribute Pixar's movies. That is something I am thinking a lot of publishing companies would not be up for. See they want to be able to take credit for these stories, and I understand that. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let another company claim credit for this work.
So that leaves me with the most realistic option. Continue self publishing it through sites like lulu.com or ka-blam.com. Not bad sites. They come highly recommended from different sources. Doing so requires a few things. Choosing their level of print and distribution packages. Lulu seems a bit ahead, since they do projects other than just comics. They offer a wide variety of outlets for distributing your finished project, including amazon.com and amazon.co.uk. And with them there is the option of them giving me an ISBN for the book. Thing is, if I spend a little bit of money and get my own ISBN, then I am the publisher. Both Lulu and Ka-Blam offer the option of bringing in your own ISBN to the dance.
Writing down specs, drawing and reading bright computer screens with visions of Fuzzyface in the grubby hands of every other person in the country. Not a bad dream.
Another option for funding is getting a grant. There are thousands of organizations that offer small business grants and service awards to anyone who works hard enough and goes out and does the leg work. Through Charlie Harris at Charlies Comics here in Tucson, I learned of the Xeric Foundation, which offers grants to self publishers of comic books. There is a six step process I have to submit to the review board. Part of which is a business plan; an expenditure report on how much I am going to ask for and then the distribution of the grant monies. Now most of the grant money would go towards the self publishing. Paying the press, the bindery if they're separate. Buying an ISBN if I need it. It would be helpful. And then buying copies of my book. These online publishing companies offer print on demand services, which limit cost and waste. Plus you don't have to sit on a huge inventory or rent a warehouse or ship things yourself. They drop ship for you. Or offer you to sell through an affiliate website. So, cost would be minimal, in as much as I would print several hundred copies to take to conventions and sell at comic book shops. The rest could be purchased online. And then there is the talent that has to be paid. As the artist, I'm not going to pay myself upfront, but with profits from sales. Venus is receiving a portion of the sales of the book, however she deserves a payment for the writing of the book. And then of course if this thing really blew up, like changing media (movies, video games etc.) Venus and I would renegotiate her earnings, as usually happens when something goes big time.
I was also thinking of trying to get the book carried through a small press company such as Oni, Top Shelf, SLG, Image or Darkhorse. The reality of that might not be so good though. Especially since one of my requirements is that the Anti-Hero Brand Press logo stays on the project. Cause it's my book. They're just helping distribute it. Kinda like Disney distribute Pixar's movies. That is something I am thinking a lot of publishing companies would not be up for. See they want to be able to take credit for these stories, and I understand that. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let another company claim credit for this work.
So that leaves me with the most realistic option. Continue self publishing it through sites like lulu.com or ka-blam.com. Not bad sites. They come highly recommended from different sources. Doing so requires a few things. Choosing their level of print and distribution packages. Lulu seems a bit ahead, since they do projects other than just comics. They offer a wide variety of outlets for distributing your finished project, including amazon.com and amazon.co.uk. And with them there is the option of them giving me an ISBN for the book. Thing is, if I spend a little bit of money and get my own ISBN, then I am the publisher. Both Lulu and Ka-Blam offer the option of bringing in your own ISBN to the dance.
Writing down specs, drawing and reading bright computer screens with visions of Fuzzyface in the grubby hands of every other person in the country. Not a bad dream.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Banner; A Hardcore Review
Banner, written by the great crime comic book scribe, Brian "100 Bullets" Azzarello and drawn by the incomparable Richard Corben is a book dealing with the duality of Bruce Banner's existence with the Hulk. And it works more like a psyche profile than anything else, simply because it handles that duality aspect better than I have ever seen previously. There is equal time given to both Hulk's massive rage, and Bruce Banner's meekness and inner hostility. The only portion it does not answer is where all this boundless and often uncontainable anger originates from. What we are to gather from this, which is actually a dialog between Doc Sampson and General Ross is that Banner is really an angry guy. From his heart he wants to be over with the whole thing. Especially given the closing scene where Ross has a "Final Solution" to the Hulk's legacy of destruction. Sampson relents that simply erasing Hulk would prevent any of the positive things that physicist Bruce Banner could bring to the world as a whole.
We are taught through medical intervention and the use of treatments and drugs, that the possible positive outcome is decidedly worth the risk of possible negative side effects. And in a lot of cases it is true. Think about the people who may appear far beyond the scope of help, in their psychosis or dementia. I have seen dementia patients. It's not a pretty picture. And I have seen people who have to take regular doses of tranquilizers. And I wonder how bad someone's life might be that they HAVE to take these medications. And I look inward and think I have undergone some of the same things. Maybe not in the scale that these other patients have, but still, it's recordable. And I look at the quality of my life now versus how it was before the drugs. Comparably it is a much better quality of life.
So, Banner is on the loose, and continues to elude Sampson and Ross across the Southwest. Massacring towns and killing people. Sampson, has gained some notable power in the government or possibly worse, the media, that he has the ability to put spin coverage on the Hulk's rampages. A devastating attack by the Hulk gets turned into a freak tornado or earthquake. And as per usual, Azzarello spins a yarn like few others can. He turns the whole thing into something eerily "common" in that the government for all we know is constantly spin doctoring things from the truth we deserve. But would it really make you feel better to know there was a huge, pissed off, completely uncontrollable, monosyllabic green monster tearing through your back yard, or that it was merely a freak tornado?
Corben's line work is legendary. This story was not your usual hero fare, it called for something gritty and dark. Corben is your man for the job. But for some reason, I honestly almost hated the artwork. It seemed sloppy in a lot of ways. The rubble and destruction was beautifully rendered in it's sheer dirtiness. But I did not dig the way the characters were rendered. The use of stippling was something you don't see every day in comics. But I felt with the advent of all things possible in the digital aspect you could have just as effectively used a filter or better shading.
Overall, Banner was a top notch psychological mind fuck. Something I think would blend beautifully well into the movie franchise. Although Marvel fucked that up by shitting all over Edward Norton and his search for perfection. Recently Kevin Feige stated that Norton was hard to work with and would not do well in an ensemble cast like the upcoming Avengers movie. Tell me, what was the Incredible Hulk but an ensemble cast. Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, William Hurt, Tim Roth, Tim Blake Nelson and Ty Burrell. That's a FUCKING ensemble cast. Why won't Marvel just say, "hey we don't want someone changing our vision of the story. We want someone to just come in, recite the lines we wrote, collect their paycheck and fucking leave." Cause let's face it, Marvel comic movies are by no means Shakespeare or even a del Toro or Luc Besson flick. Marvel tries to produce fare that is going to make them back their investment in the box office. And no matter what happens, comic book fans are always going to be unhappy with the result. Marvel just wants everything in their universe to read the way they want to be perceived. Just like in this story. Cause nobody wants to be seen as the badguy. Well, most people don't. I'm not so sure Marvel hasn't burned a very talented bridge and then pissed all over the ashes.
So for the grade of this, I am going with a wrestling match that fuels my vision of this story. A match that was not by any stretch of the imagination pretty or a thing of beauty, but it was effective storytelling. Sort of like that Amsterdam Kung Fu kick to the chest in the World Cup final by De Jong. Pretty much anything featuring one of my favorite train wrecks in pro wrestling Mick Foley would do the trick. The match I think of that tells a great story about Mick, as Cactus Jack in WCW in the early 90's. Cactus took on the then World Heavyweight Champion, Vader. Mick has stated that this has been called one of the most blatantly brutal matches of his career. WCW's policy at the time, and pretty much unless it was a pay per view in the late 90's was not to involve any blood. So Cactus suggests to Vader (pre match) that he produce some swelling under Mick's eye. Vader took it upon himself to produce a lot more than swelling when he began pummeling Mick in the face, and broke his nose. And for those of you who have ever had nose trauma, it's kind of hard to not see blood when you've broken your nose. The rest of the match was a lot of abuse that Cactus took from Vader, including being squashed under the total body weight of Vader as he dropped to the floor with Cactus on his back. Cactus even performed a front somersault from the apron into Vader after Vader had already injured his ribs crashing into a protective guardrail only moments before. After the aerial assault, Cactus rolled back into the ring to get the count out victory.
We are taught through medical intervention and the use of treatments and drugs, that the possible positive outcome is decidedly worth the risk of possible negative side effects. And in a lot of cases it is true. Think about the people who may appear far beyond the scope of help, in their psychosis or dementia. I have seen dementia patients. It's not a pretty picture. And I have seen people who have to take regular doses of tranquilizers. And I wonder how bad someone's life might be that they HAVE to take these medications. And I look inward and think I have undergone some of the same things. Maybe not in the scale that these other patients have, but still, it's recordable. And I look at the quality of my life now versus how it was before the drugs. Comparably it is a much better quality of life.
So, Banner is on the loose, and continues to elude Sampson and Ross across the Southwest. Massacring towns and killing people. Sampson, has gained some notable power in the government or possibly worse, the media, that he has the ability to put spin coverage on the Hulk's rampages. A devastating attack by the Hulk gets turned into a freak tornado or earthquake. And as per usual, Azzarello spins a yarn like few others can. He turns the whole thing into something eerily "common" in that the government for all we know is constantly spin doctoring things from the truth we deserve. But would it really make you feel better to know there was a huge, pissed off, completely uncontrollable, monosyllabic green monster tearing through your back yard, or that it was merely a freak tornado?
Corben's line work is legendary. This story was not your usual hero fare, it called for something gritty and dark. Corben is your man for the job. But for some reason, I honestly almost hated the artwork. It seemed sloppy in a lot of ways. The rubble and destruction was beautifully rendered in it's sheer dirtiness. But I did not dig the way the characters were rendered. The use of stippling was something you don't see every day in comics. But I felt with the advent of all things possible in the digital aspect you could have just as effectively used a filter or better shading.
Overall, Banner was a top notch psychological mind fuck. Something I think would blend beautifully well into the movie franchise. Although Marvel fucked that up by shitting all over Edward Norton and his search for perfection. Recently Kevin Feige stated that Norton was hard to work with and would not do well in an ensemble cast like the upcoming Avengers movie. Tell me, what was the Incredible Hulk but an ensemble cast. Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, William Hurt, Tim Roth, Tim Blake Nelson and Ty Burrell. That's a FUCKING ensemble cast. Why won't Marvel just say, "hey we don't want someone changing our vision of the story. We want someone to just come in, recite the lines we wrote, collect their paycheck and fucking leave." Cause let's face it, Marvel comic movies are by no means Shakespeare or even a del Toro or Luc Besson flick. Marvel tries to produce fare that is going to make them back their investment in the box office. And no matter what happens, comic book fans are always going to be unhappy with the result. Marvel just wants everything in their universe to read the way they want to be perceived. Just like in this story. Cause nobody wants to be seen as the badguy. Well, most people don't. I'm not so sure Marvel hasn't burned a very talented bridge and then pissed all over the ashes.
So for the grade of this, I am going with a wrestling match that fuels my vision of this story. A match that was not by any stretch of the imagination pretty or a thing of beauty, but it was effective storytelling. Sort of like that Amsterdam Kung Fu kick to the chest in the World Cup final by De Jong. Pretty much anything featuring one of my favorite train wrecks in pro wrestling Mick Foley would do the trick. The match I think of that tells a great story about Mick, as Cactus Jack in WCW in the early 90's. Cactus took on the then World Heavyweight Champion, Vader. Mick has stated that this has been called one of the most blatantly brutal matches of his career. WCW's policy at the time, and pretty much unless it was a pay per view in the late 90's was not to involve any blood. So Cactus suggests to Vader (pre match) that he produce some swelling under Mick's eye. Vader took it upon himself to produce a lot more than swelling when he began pummeling Mick in the face, and broke his nose. And for those of you who have ever had nose trauma, it's kind of hard to not see blood when you've broken your nose. The rest of the match was a lot of abuse that Cactus took from Vader, including being squashed under the total body weight of Vader as he dropped to the floor with Cactus on his back. Cactus even performed a front somersault from the apron into Vader after Vader had already injured his ribs crashing into a protective guardrail only moments before. After the aerial assault, Cactus rolled back into the ring to get the count out victory.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Goodbye Mister Pekar
Independent comic book writer and overall lovable curmudgeon Harvey Pekar has passed away at age 70. Pekar came to mainstream prominence with the release of the movie, American Splendor, based on his autobiographical comic of the same name. The movie intercut between Paul Giamatti as Pekar and actual footage of Pekar talking about his life and the making of his movie. Harvey Pekar and his wife Joyce Brabner collaborated on a book about Harvey's initial battle with testicular cancer called, Our Cancer Year. The book is an acclaimed biopic about a tumultuous time in the life of a man who became a celebrity almost by accident.
For years Pekar toiled in the field of medical records while writing his comic book, American Splendor which teamed him up with the likes of comic great Robert Crumb, Gary Dumm, Greg Budgett, Spain Rodriguez, Joe Zabel, Gerry Shamray, Frank Stack, Mark Zingarelli, and Joe Sacco. DC Vertigo released a four issue mini series of American Splendor, written once again by Pekar a few years ago. Pekar worked with Dean Haspiel on an early biography about his life, entitled, The Quitter.
Harvey Pekar is one of the few independent creators who has enjoyed mainstream successes with the movie about his life and career, as well as becoming something of an institution in the comic book industry himself. He is well known and well loved for his usually pessimistic out look on life and being able to turn that into a very long career with American Splendor.
In closing, I think the industry should turn out in support of a man who stumbled into the comic book industry and became a true giant. I would wholeheartedly sponsor an independent creator award named after Mr. Pekar.
Harvey Lawrence Pekar October 8, 1939 – July 12, 2010
For years Pekar toiled in the field of medical records while writing his comic book, American Splendor which teamed him up with the likes of comic great Robert Crumb, Gary Dumm, Greg Budgett, Spain Rodriguez, Joe Zabel, Gerry Shamray, Frank Stack, Mark Zingarelli, and Joe Sacco. DC Vertigo released a four issue mini series of American Splendor, written once again by Pekar a few years ago. Pekar worked with Dean Haspiel on an early biography about his life, entitled, The Quitter.
Harvey Pekar is one of the few independent creators who has enjoyed mainstream successes with the movie about his life and career, as well as becoming something of an institution in the comic book industry himself. He is well known and well loved for his usually pessimistic out look on life and being able to turn that into a very long career with American Splendor.
In closing, I think the industry should turn out in support of a man who stumbled into the comic book industry and became a true giant. I would wholeheartedly sponsor an independent creator award named after Mr. Pekar.
Harvey Lawrence Pekar October 8, 1939 – July 12, 2010
Tek Jansen: A Hardcore Review
The staunch conservative, Stephen Colbert has done it again folks. Managed to entertain us in ways we never thought imaginable. See a lot of right wingers actually think Colbert is for real and that he's doing this spectacular job. Thus further precipitating my hypothesis that conservatives don't actually have a sense of humor. And based on the sheer number of right thinking, bible thumping asstronaughts out there, I'm fucking right.
Tek Jansen is the story of a delusional space captain, based on the likeness and I'm guessing on screen thought process of Colbert, for Comedy Central. During his adventures, Jansen manages to break every unified space law and embargo for his own massive ego and thought of "might makes right." Didn't we recently have another very public figure who felt that way? And I'm pretty sure, he was the reason why people with mental retardation can now accomplish just about anything. Including running multi-billion dollar corporations into the ground; and becoming President and almost taking over the world. Come to think of it, wasn't Napoleon borderline retarded too? Oh well, I digress. Tek, swoons the ladies, be they human, robot or large floating brain in a jar. Jansen can't be stopped in a nicely produced hardcover by John Layman (Chew) and mostly drawn by Robbi Rodriguez. The first chapter was drawn by Scott Chantler. This is probably the most fun I have had reading a comic book in a while. Super great art, and a Don Quixote-like protagonist at the helm of some pretty dangerous weaponry makes for must read comics. And he's not fighting windmills neither. Jansen, after chapter one's debacle, gets busted down to cadet, and has to go back through basic training. During a lecture course on "civil surrender," Jansen calls his instructor a pussy and rips off his face. Jansen then commandeers a ship and kidnaps the cadet class and goes to war with the Antagons. Blasting damn near everything in sight and killing about half of the class. The final portion of this chapter has Jansen promoted back to whatever the fuck he was before, and shows the outcome of the remaining members of Jansen's cadet classmates. Half Killed in Action, the other half presumed dead and or missing.
During the other chapters, Jansen fights his evil, yet still devastatingly handsome, self to a standstill. Although he was on orders to kill himself, as it were.
And during the entire book Jansen has kept his POW and pet, Meangarr in a closely held jar, while the little space automaton shouts degrading, yet comic relief inspired, threats at Tek. In the end, Jansen releases Meangarr unto the cosmos, who immediately threates to rip out his gizzards. But then relents as he too is stricken by Tek's sheer animal magnetism and machismo.
This is definitely a book for humor and sci fi enthusiasts. And anyone who enjoys the Colbert Report is gonna love this book. The sad fact being is that this title came out right as the 2007 Writer's Strike hit and was postponed from the first issue for several months. When it resurfaced, Oni Press and Comedy Central failed to capitalize on its popularity with fans and it seemed to fade into obscurity. But it stands as a testament to the superior human race and that we as a people must conquer all other species, NOT JUST ON THE PLANET, but in the known universe. Hump those fuckers into submission before they hump us.
Bringing to mind, a not very hardcore, but pretty damn funny moment in wrestling history. During the twilight of Mankind's career in the then WWF, Mankind's closest friend, the Rock decided to throw Mick Foley a "this is your life" type party in the middle of the ring. in front of the "DOZENS and dozens" of Mankind's fans, Rock proceeded to bring out significant people from Mick's past including the old lady whose house Mick leaped off of all those years ago. Fondly recalling that episode in his life, Mankind responds, "She had such delicious pie," to the Rock's near vomiting in the middle of the ring. The Rock and Sock Connection, who were two time WWF World Tag Team Champions and both held the WWF Heavyweight Title on multiple occasions, were a contrast in not only styles, but where they came from. Rock was essentially heralded as wrestling royalty, being the son of Rocky Johnson and the grandson of High Chief Peter Maivia. Where as, Mick was this guy who busted his ass through the independent circuit for years and slept in his car during the cold Pittsburgh nights while training with Troy Martin in Dominic DeNucci's school. Although we mostly remember Mick Foley for the loss of body parts, gallons of blood and insane determination he gave this industry, we sometimes forget the great comedy he provided us with later in his career. Here's to you Mick!
Tek Jansen is the story of a delusional space captain, based on the likeness and I'm guessing on screen thought process of Colbert, for Comedy Central. During his adventures, Jansen manages to break every unified space law and embargo for his own massive ego and thought of "might makes right." Didn't we recently have another very public figure who felt that way? And I'm pretty sure, he was the reason why people with mental retardation can now accomplish just about anything. Including running multi-billion dollar corporations into the ground; and becoming President and almost taking over the world. Come to think of it, wasn't Napoleon borderline retarded too? Oh well, I digress. Tek, swoons the ladies, be they human, robot or large floating brain in a jar. Jansen can't be stopped in a nicely produced hardcover by John Layman (Chew) and mostly drawn by Robbi Rodriguez. The first chapter was drawn by Scott Chantler. This is probably the most fun I have had reading a comic book in a while. Super great art, and a Don Quixote-like protagonist at the helm of some pretty dangerous weaponry makes for must read comics. And he's not fighting windmills neither. Jansen, after chapter one's debacle, gets busted down to cadet, and has to go back through basic training. During a lecture course on "civil surrender," Jansen calls his instructor a pussy and rips off his face. Jansen then commandeers a ship and kidnaps the cadet class and goes to war with the Antagons. Blasting damn near everything in sight and killing about half of the class. The final portion of this chapter has Jansen promoted back to whatever the fuck he was before, and shows the outcome of the remaining members of Jansen's cadet classmates. Half Killed in Action, the other half presumed dead and or missing.
During the other chapters, Jansen fights his evil, yet still devastatingly handsome, self to a standstill. Although he was on orders to kill himself, as it were.
And during the entire book Jansen has kept his POW and pet, Meangarr in a closely held jar, while the little space automaton shouts degrading, yet comic relief inspired, threats at Tek. In the end, Jansen releases Meangarr unto the cosmos, who immediately threates to rip out his gizzards. But then relents as he too is stricken by Tek's sheer animal magnetism and machismo.
This is definitely a book for humor and sci fi enthusiasts. And anyone who enjoys the Colbert Report is gonna love this book. The sad fact being is that this title came out right as the 2007 Writer's Strike hit and was postponed from the first issue for several months. When it resurfaced, Oni Press and Comedy Central failed to capitalize on its popularity with fans and it seemed to fade into obscurity. But it stands as a testament to the superior human race and that we as a people must conquer all other species, NOT JUST ON THE PLANET, but in the known universe. Hump those fuckers into submission before they hump us.
Bringing to mind, a not very hardcore, but pretty damn funny moment in wrestling history. During the twilight of Mankind's career in the then WWF, Mankind's closest friend, the Rock decided to throw Mick Foley a "this is your life" type party in the middle of the ring. in front of the "DOZENS and dozens" of Mankind's fans, Rock proceeded to bring out significant people from Mick's past including the old lady whose house Mick leaped off of all those years ago. Fondly recalling that episode in his life, Mankind responds, "She had such delicious pie," to the Rock's near vomiting in the middle of the ring. The Rock and Sock Connection, who were two time WWF World Tag Team Champions and both held the WWF Heavyweight Title on multiple occasions, were a contrast in not only styles, but where they came from. Rock was essentially heralded as wrestling royalty, being the son of Rocky Johnson and the grandson of High Chief Peter Maivia. Where as, Mick was this guy who busted his ass through the independent circuit for years and slept in his car during the cold Pittsburgh nights while training with Troy Martin in Dominic DeNucci's school. Although we mostly remember Mick Foley for the loss of body parts, gallons of blood and insane determination he gave this industry, we sometimes forget the great comedy he provided us with later in his career. Here's to you Mick!
Friday, July 9, 2010
FUZZYFACE ON SALE NOW!
Here are a few locations where you can pick up the "IT" book of 2010! Fuzzyface: The Agnew Chainsaw Massacre 3 is available for sale! Safehouse only takes cash for Anti-Hero Brand Press books, but the comic shops will take cards. Thanks
Support these aweseome businesses that support small press comic books.
IN TUCSON!....
Safehouse E Bar
4024 East Speedway Boulevard
Tucson, AZ 85712-4520 -
(520) 318-3090
http://www.safehousecoffee.com/
Charlies Comics
5445 E 22nd St.
Tucson, AZ 85711
(520) 320-0279
www.charliescomics.com
IN PHOENIX
Samurai Comics
1051 E Camelback
Phoenix, AZ
602-265-8886
www.samuraicomics.com
Thanks,
John & Agnew
Support these aweseome businesses that support small press comic books.
IN TUCSON!....
Safehouse E Bar
4024 East Speedway Boulevard
Tucson, AZ 85712-4520 -
(520) 318-3090
http://www.safehousecoffee.com/
Charlies Comics
5445 E 22nd St.
Tucson, AZ 85711
(520) 320-0279
www.charliescomics.com
IN PHOENIX
Samurai Comics
1051 E Camelback
Phoenix, AZ
602-265-8886
www.samuraicomics.com
Thanks,
John & Agnew
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Chew vol. 1; A Hardcore Review
So the "IT" book has landed on the Hardcore Review. The first trade paperback of Chew from Image is titled, "Taster's Choice." It stars Tony Chu, and very unstereotypical Asian American police officer. Tony Chu is one of three known Cibopaths in the world. A Cibopath is defined as a person who can take a bite of an apple and immediately tell the orchard and region it came from, if it had pesticides used on it and what kind. He can even tell about the person who harvested the fruit. Invariably, Chu can see details about the slaughter of beef or pork and the hormones and the suffering the animal went through. This causes Chu to not want to eat all that much. As with any power there is bound to be some limitation. Tony Chu's limits, strangely enough, beets. His power won't work on beets. So when Chu does eat, let's just say he eats a lot of beets.
In the world of Chew, America has put a ban on chicken, due to the alleged Avian Flu pandemic. Chu and his partner are on a stakeout of a Chicken House. Things get tangled as a local chicken kingpin walks through the front door.
During the mixup, Chu and his partner are invited in by an FDA agent to partake in chicken dinner. Yes, the FDA is the most powerful law enforcement agency in the United States. Chu gets the soup and immediately knows there's something wrong. His partner gets killed in the fracas. And suddenly police officer Tony Chu is the FDA's newest agent.
The remaining five chapters of "Taster's Choice" deal with a surly and cantankerous boss, who sees Chu only as some circus sideshow act, the cannibalizing of dead and at times festering flesh; and a seriously weird fight with Russian vampires.
The writing of John Layman (Tek Jansen) and the amazing artwork of Rob Guillory bring this topical story to maddening, vivid life. Not your typical, overly muscled super cop, Tony Chu is rendered as a regular guy, complete with bad posture and receding hairline. Guillory's line style is coupled with great coloring, and a biting sarcastic wit wrought on by Layman, who was made famous with Stephen Colbert's Tek Jansen. I got a chance to talk to John Layman about the making of Tek Jansen, the notes of which I might reveal in a review of said book. Meanwhile, this was a fun, fast paced ride with all the trimmings of a fantastic fried chicken dinner.
Chew volume 1 rates pretty fucking high up on my list of must read comics for 2010. In fact if you were to watch a wrestling match of equal entertainment value from the annals of wrestling history, only one man would come to mind that is ALWAYS worth the price of the show. And that match would be Anarchy Rulz 2000 Television Title rematch between the incumbent Rhino and the man who never lost the belt to begin with, Rob Van Dam. The match was purely physical on Rhino's part and high flying on Van Dam's. Everything Van Dam did, Rhino powered out of. He even pulled Bill Alphonso into the path of the "Vanterminator!" And then scooped up Rob and sitout piledrivered him from the ring apron through a nearby table. And even though RVD lost and never did regain the World Television Title he is always worth the cost of the entire pay per view. Even ten years later.
In the world of Chew, America has put a ban on chicken, due to the alleged Avian Flu pandemic. Chu and his partner are on a stakeout of a Chicken House. Things get tangled as a local chicken kingpin walks through the front door.
During the mixup, Chu and his partner are invited in by an FDA agent to partake in chicken dinner. Yes, the FDA is the most powerful law enforcement agency in the United States. Chu gets the soup and immediately knows there's something wrong. His partner gets killed in the fracas. And suddenly police officer Tony Chu is the FDA's newest agent.
The remaining five chapters of "Taster's Choice" deal with a surly and cantankerous boss, who sees Chu only as some circus sideshow act, the cannibalizing of dead and at times festering flesh; and a seriously weird fight with Russian vampires.
The writing of John Layman (Tek Jansen) and the amazing artwork of Rob Guillory bring this topical story to maddening, vivid life. Not your typical, overly muscled super cop, Tony Chu is rendered as a regular guy, complete with bad posture and receding hairline. Guillory's line style is coupled with great coloring, and a biting sarcastic wit wrought on by Layman, who was made famous with Stephen Colbert's Tek Jansen. I got a chance to talk to John Layman about the making of Tek Jansen, the notes of which I might reveal in a review of said book. Meanwhile, this was a fun, fast paced ride with all the trimmings of a fantastic fried chicken dinner.
Chew volume 1 rates pretty fucking high up on my list of must read comics for 2010. In fact if you were to watch a wrestling match of equal entertainment value from the annals of wrestling history, only one man would come to mind that is ALWAYS worth the price of the show. And that match would be Anarchy Rulz 2000 Television Title rematch between the incumbent Rhino and the man who never lost the belt to begin with, Rob Van Dam. The match was purely physical on Rhino's part and high flying on Van Dam's. Everything Van Dam did, Rhino powered out of. He even pulled Bill Alphonso into the path of the "Vanterminator!" And then scooped up Rob and sitout piledrivered him from the ring apron through a nearby table. And even though RVD lost and never did regain the World Television Title he is always worth the cost of the entire pay per view. Even ten years later.
New AHB Merch @ our Cafe Press shop!
Come one come all and visit the OFFICIAL Anti-Hero Brand Press shop! New Fuzzyface merch has been added. WWFFD? shirts and the "Respect" logo tees are now on sale. Just click the link below and shop for the best Anti-Hero Brand merchandise available.
Anti-Hero Brand Press Shop
Anti-Hero Brand Press Shop
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