Comics: The Three Stooges; A Hardcore Review

It's tough to write a conclusive comic book story arc in six issues. So I can't imagine how difficult it must be to capture the life of a comedic legend, who's career spanned decades in just 24 pages, let alone FIVE. But that's what this book and it's creative team managed to do. And I know what you're thinking, "it says Three Stooges, not five." And you are so right, and wrong at the same time. Today the Hardcore Review is tackling three (five) lummoxes that were a comedy dynamo, Bluewater's Comics: The Three Stooges, which is the third issue of the Comics biographical series written by Jaymes Reed and drawn by issue one's Apriyadi Kusbiantoro. And recently, I have become a fan of the art of the documentary.
Reed again somehow does what might seem the impossible, to make people care about our history. And in a day and time when it's so fucking relevant to know about our past, we as a species, called Americans, seem to fall ever short. When we have a former comic book god like Frank Miller, bashing the Occupy Wallstreet movement, and even the Republican party silently gagging everytime Mitt Romney hits their tax payer funded flat screen televisions, we need to remember what it was to laugh. And I remember, like all of you, busting my sister on the head with a ferris wheel fist, or torquing someone's nose with a pair of pliers, that there was a comedy troupe that preceeded Kids in the Hall and Saturday Night Live. History my friends. And I am happy to report that I learned something. I know, learned something from comics. The fuck did I learn from comics other than Miller's illustrious word smitherie of, "I'm the goddamn Batman?" But I did. I found out a few things actually. First is Curly was NOT an original Three Stooge. That was Shemp. And another fancy tidbit, Shemp, Curly and Moe were brothers.
There was like only 2 word balloons in the entire book. Which, much like issue one about George Carlin was really not all that funny. The Stooges were born at the turn of the twentieth century. And it wasn't until after the Great Depression where they made their mark on not just the comedy world, but the entertainment world at large. And before when I said there were actually five Three Stooges, there were factually six, although Joe Besser, who was only known on screen as "Joe" was a very short lived career as a Stooge.
You know, the only complaint I think I even have about this book would be, I think I might have liked it even better in black and white. But that's only cause that's how I remember the Three Stooges. Well that and a better grad on my Reid Park Zoo project in design school. I did a Three Stooges parody piece that paraded the "Three Simians," with three different types of apes, with the classic Moe, Larry and Curly haircuts. Complete with the old school Three Stooges font and everything. But that's got nothing to do with Reed and Kusbiantoro's fine work here.
As some of you may know, and I'm seriously getting kinda fucking tired of reminding you, I don't review like some fat schlub from Chicago, or some pansy assed douchebag from some gossip rag piece of shit that spawned John Tesh. I don't even used a letter system, you know, like most of you got in remedial English. According to a friend, I am using "the lowest common denominator," but then again, according to me, I hate KISS and all they stand for. So here I go with my grade. The moment was something, nobody was ready for, and got somebody in a lot of trouble with his boss. In 1994, Mick Foley as Cactus Jack wrestled for WCW. When they established a shortlived relationship with the upstart ECW, Cactus wrestled Sabu in a dream match. Cactus lost, but not without delivering one of the most violent sounding chair shots I've ever heard, with a plastic fucking chair. And then afterward, Cactus delivered one of his most poignant promos ever, when he spit on the WCW World Tag Team title belt. This pissed off his boss, WOOOOOO, the man who would later call Foley nothing more than "a glorified stuntman," Ric Flair.

Comics: George Carlin; A Hardcore Review

Holy Shit! A review of a project that has not yet been printed. I know. I usually don't do such things. However, due to the fact that nobody knows who I am, much like Spider-Man, I don't often have the chance to review such preprint projects. I am proud to bring you my first such review. And it is a comic book biography of my favorite stand up comedian, George "Seven Words" Carlin. Now, I gotta be honest. This is the first non-porn related comic bio I have read. EVER! I'm not a big fan of biography comics. But I took an interest in this one, cause I know the writer and talk with him quite frequently online. This book is being published by Bluewater, the same company behind the political bios of John McCain and Barack Obama, as well as the Women in Power series and the "Fame" series with current celebs.
Written by Jaymes Reed who is the man behind DIGITAL CAPS lettering, who has lettered a ton of biographical comics on new and in my mind totally unwothies, like fucking Justin Beiber. I don't care if Dave thinks he can sing, I don't like when anyone who's half my age makes a billion dollars for being cute.Although being 32 and cute might be sorta weird. Now, here's the kicker with this George Carlin book. It's got no comedy in it. That kind of threw me, but then again. It's a biography. And we all know Carlin's classic routines, but to steal a great line from the movie of V for Vendetta, "but what of the man?" For those of you who may not know, Carlin's life wasn't always about those seven words you can't say on television. In fact it was a mighty fucking tough road to where he stood atop the great comedy Mount Olympus. He toiled in obscurity for a long time. In fact it wasn't till the 1970's when Carlin became the Carlin we know and remember today.
George Carlin is one of my heroes, if for no other reason than he spoke his mind. To be on stage, in front of millions, and still have the balls to not shrivel up and pussy out and be a clone is a huge thing. Besides those famous seven words, Carlin was a work in progress until the 70's. He did a lot of funny characters and wore a fucking suit on stage. A suit, really? George Carlin? The guy who said, most pro lifers are, "people you wouldn't wanna fuck in the first place." And now, you too can know his origins in 24 smashing pages of art delivered by Bluewater up and comer, Apriyadi Kusbiantoro. Reed writes as well as he letters. This is just the first in a series of "Comics" books to be written by Jaymes Reed. I think it's a great idea. I mean we pay attention to the star of the moment, and by we, I mean most simple minded people who can't remember last week, that we forget out roots. What brought us to the dance. Or, what happened last week.
So in summation, the writing was crisp. It told the story. Much in the advent of writing an actual biography. Reed did a lot of research into this piece. And you could tell. You could tell that Carlin is one of his heroes too. And even though the artwork was totally not what I was expecting, Kusbiantoro did a great job. I am not sure the media used, although it looks like either water colors or Copic Markers, I gotta say I pleasantly surprised. Sure there were points when the pace slowed down a bit more than I might have liked, and it was weird that a young George Carlin's eyes seemed to be crossed an unusual amount, but fuck people, I draw tits and ass and a guy who tries to look simian when he fights crime. There's also a gingerbread like sidekick in the mix. But that's a story for another time. Comics: George Carlin is a quick readup on the history of the all time greatest standup comedian of ALL TIME! If you don't buy it, you're probably a terrorist. Look I've had a couple of Pabst Blue Ribbons and I know it's only nine thirty in the morning, but I refuse to apologize for something you up tight conservatives pretend you don't do. That and the wife swapping parties. You people just need to come out of the closet. You'll feel a whole lot better. I do. And I'm not even gay. Or whatever the fucking PC vernacular is these days. You gotta pick up this book. It's history. That's what all comics are, history. A visual form of storytelling that is still here over a hundred years later. Passed down from the cavemen who painted on walls, to the Renaissance where everything was a fucking painting or a sculpture. To now, where comics aren't just for kids. And they can actually be a form of art.
Now, for those of you who know this review, and for those of you reading it for the first time. This is not your ordinary review where I give fucking thumbs up or stars or even a letter grade. With public education the way it is you're lucky I can spell at all. But I grade based on hardcore moments in professional wrestling history. The more hardcore or classic the moment the more I liked the thing I am reviewing. And usually, with the exception of the birth of the "nWo" promo, anything involving Hulk Hogan is pretty weak by comparison. This review rates something close to one of the creator's hearts. A moment from World Class Championship Wrestling involving two of the biggest tag teams of the era.... The Von Erichs and the Fabulous Freebirds. The match was Kevin and Kerry (I think) Von Erich versus, Terry Gordy and Buddy Jack Roberts. The stipulation was, whoever lost the fall, was out of WCCW. Loser Leaves Town kinda things. Fuckin' A I like it. I forget who lost the actual fall, but I do remember, P.S Michael Hayes showing up wearing a Santa Claus costume and attacking the Von Erichs after the match was over. Classic 1980's moment. In a side note, the Freebirds also attained tag team gold several times during their tenure. But due to a great rule that was later dubbed, "The Freebirds Rule" any two of the three Freebirds could defend the titles in a match. It's been done to death since then, but it originated with Michael Hayes, Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy, and Buddy Jack Roberts.