Tank Girl 3: A Hardcore Review

In case you're wondering, here's the cover to the project

This series of short stories, sees Tank Girl getting into all sorts of shenanigans with her boyfriend Booga. In the first story Tank Girl and Booga are being tracked by bounty hunters. Booga asks Tank Girl, "What plan should we go with, A, B, C, D or E?" To which Tank Girl quips, "Why plan C of course." Booga can't remember, so he states, "Remind me of what plan C entails." Tank Girl replies as only she can, "Every time you kill someone you have to do a stylish celebrity impersonation."
Shit like this is why, Tank Girl is a beloved character. She's a bonafied indie comic book icon. Possibly even more followed and loved in America than in England where she was created by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin.
The plane trip in on a special weekend has Tank Girl blast a hole in the magnificent afro of soccer superstar Kevin Keegan so she can watch the in flight movie. Tank Girl and Booga go to visit Booga's parents where, Booga's dad, who has a strange reaction to cheese, turns into a hairy monster who breaks loose and terrorizes the surrounding countryside. It's revealed that a secret agent posing as Kevin Keegan sedates Booga's pops with a tranq gun.
There's a coupld of short stories, starring Jet Girl, where she tries to rearrange the rocks on a mountainside all the while having heavy artillery fired at her.
Noy much changes for Tank Girl as Booga becomes a messiah of sorts to a legion of brainwashed followers. In this story, the path to enlightenment is attained through gorging yourself on tons of food, without puking until you gain the light. The end sees Booga barf and Tank Girl wake up to having "a strange dream," while sleeping beside some really creepy old dude.
Hijacking a jumping castle in order to escape the massing horde of would be hired guns, Tank Girl, Booga and the operator of the jumping castle bolt from the amusement park. Don't worry, there's tons of boozing, and carousing by "the girl you want." As well as a bitchload of comedy. Yeah, I said bitchload. What the fuck's wrong with my grammar? Nothing, that's what.
For all the talking that Tank Girl does, it make be her quasi lunatic actions that get overlooked. And in keeping with the tradition of the Hardcore Review, and I say tradition very loosely, cause well, if there's anything to be gained from these reviews, it's that there is no real tradition or correlation to be made other than me using as much foul language as possible to describe how much I either loved or hated something. That an the use of wrestling analogies for the grading system. This moment stems from ECW's Anarchy Rulz 2000 where Rob Van Dam, "the Whole Fuckin' Show" attempted to regain, "the title he never lost from the man he never beat (the Sinister Minister)," in Rhino. The end of the match saw Bill Alphonso aide Van Dam, by lining up the steel chair in Rhino's face for the impending Van-Terminator. Well, Van Dam hit the vaunted Van-Terminator, but in mid flight from corner to corner, Rhino pulled diminutive manager Fonzy into the path of fire. Causing Alphonso to be crushed between the steel chair, Rhino and the oncoming 234 pound missile from Battle Creek. Van Dam was then piledriven through a table at ringside and the picked up and gored through a table propped up in the corner. FUCK!

Powergirl 1-12; A Hardcore Review

The 12 issue run by writers Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti with art chores handled by Amanda Conner. Variant covers were done for the first 3 issues by legendary pinup and cheesecake artist Matt Hughes. This run followed the successful 4 issue origin run in JSA Classified, with writing handled by Geoff Johns and pencils and inks by Amanda and Jimmy respectively.
The stint, showed Powergirl as her alter ego, Karen Starr building her new corporation Starrware Industries from the ground up. Starrware is a company that is helping the Earth go green by inventing products that can be utilized, but there's one problem, none of their inventions are being picked up by anyone.
On the other side of the cape, Powergirl hangs out with her new gal pal Terra. Who is not the reincarnation of Terra from Teen Titans glory and traitor-dom; but a whole new manifestation from the underground, literally. She is a being from the underworld. But she still has the same powers as the original Terra. The two fight a menace, not seen in quite a while in Ultra Humanite, who tears Manhattan from its foundations and lifts it into space. And it's a good thing Terra's around to watch PG's back, cause the entire JSA roster is busy.
The two celebrate their victory over Ultra Humanite, the new Dynamic Duo have a girls night out with a movie. But that gets interrupted with a meta human attack, that leaves Terra in her skivies. Afterwards, Powergirl lets Terra know about the importance of always wearing her uniform under her civies.
Powergirl takes on the likes of a universe traversing macho pig who's only hunting the best woman for the hope of a next generation on his planet. He attempts courting Powergirl, who rebuffs his advances. And after a whole issue, finds out no actual physical contact is needed in order to help his people have progeny.
Earth 2 Supergirl, Kara Zor-El fights the likes of Satanna, and Ultra Humanite yet again. Only this time Humanite has somehow transferred his persona into Terra. And after letting loose and taking out "evil" Terra, PG restores her friend he own mind, and effectively erases Humanite's hatred of her, not to mention helps cure Humanite so that he is no longer cursed to wear the permanent ape suit.
The coup de gras was of course a young man who snaps a few pics of Powergirl changing from PG to Karen Starr on a rooftop via super high quality camera lense. He blackmails Powergirl into doing his bidding. His first order of business is to have Powergirl escort him to his favorite comic book store? But that was on the cover, and something like that would never actually happen, would it? But after the pseudo- date, the kid becomes a local celebrity, and even gets asked out on a date by the cute girl who works at the comic book shop. So the remaining blackmail is averted and he surrenders the hard copies and digital files. This is the issue I had Amanda sign at San Diego Comic Con this year. I told her it was by far my favorite issue of the dozen. She was happy with my diagnosis and also said how disappointed she was when she was younger reading a comic and didn't get to see some of the cool things that were slated on the covers.
Powergirl 1-12 was a super fun ride, that was the first book I read every single month. And the grade I give to it is conversely hardcore. I give to you a match from Major League Wrestling. It involves the "Chairman of professional wrestling," La Parka (who is now known as LA Park) and the "Suicidal... Homicidal... Genocidal... Death defying maniac" known the world over as Sabu. This was the most hellish match in MLW's short history. And almost saw the unmasking of La Parka when Sabu repeatedly stabbed him in the face and head shredding most of his mask. Sabu was seconded by Bill Alphonso and help Sabu he did. Sabu seemed to have settled down a bit since his more suicidal days in Extreme Championship Wrestling, due in part to coaching by Alphonso. At least that's what Joey Styles said. He called the match. It was bloody, and high flying, with a lot more mat wrestling than you have come to expect from the two time former Heavyweight World Champion. But La Parka succumbed Sabu's famous finisher, the triple jump moonsault. Afterward, Sabu shook La Parka's hand and raised his arm in a show of good sportsmanship. But following that, La Parka attacked Bill Alphonso outside of the building, still clad in his shredded and blood covered mask. Fonzie screaming about how his arm was broken from the bottom of a pile of garbage cans.
See for yourself folks....

Sabu versus La Parka in Major League Wrestling