So, finally I bought a copy of Rick Veitch's Brat Pack. Man, what a mind fuck. When you grew up on shit like The Cosby Show and Family Matters, and read Spider-Man and Superman, to read something that tells the truth of how "heroes" would actually be it kind of sits weird in your stomach. Not bad really, but kind of like when you first heard about Santa Claus. The truth can be tough to take sometimes. And everything isn't just black and white, there's a ton of gray in there too. Just like in Brat Pack, Veitch hit hard with the gray scale. The world we live in today supplies a lot of moral ambiguity. And so does Brat Pack. The Mink is a raging psychotic, repressed homosexual with longings for his sidekick, Chippy. Moon Goddess is a tweaked out, toothless old whore with a serious hatred of all men, except for True Man. Judge Jury is a sociopathic racist, complete with pointy hood and giant gavel. And King Rad, which has to be the worst hero name of the group is a drunk and a pill popper who is also an enabler to his protege. And please don't get me wrong. I loved this book. Reprinted through King Hell in 1992 with reworked art and some script changes by Veitch, Brat Pack really sat about 10 years ahead of its time, much like Watchmen and the Dark Knight Returns were ahead of the curve in 1986.
Things start off pretty bad for the sidekicks in Slumberg. What you perceive as a villainous threat by Doctor Blasphemy in a Mink Mobile car bombing, takes out the four young would be heroes. It is revealed after much maligned ideals, that the sidekicks, affectionately referred to as the Brat Pack, are merely a marketing tool for their adult counterparts. They rarely go out on patrol or fight crime in any capacity, other than helping to instigate a gang rape of Moon Goddess' sidekick, Luna at a football game.
The book wouldn't be complete unless there was a tie in to the original Brat Pack, and that's the original Chippy who somehow survives the bomb blast and in a seriously fucked up form haunts the new Brat Pack and eats pigeons.
Probably my favorite part of the book is when the heroes are getting the sidekicks ready and in a series of quasi double page spreads with each quarter devoted to one hero/sidekick set. It continuously told a story, while telling each hero's warped version. Not unlike the Gospels according to those four guys who all told the same story, just in their own words. You know what I'm talking about. That really famous book that had all those great stories in it. Like, incest, rape, murder, betrayal, war, famine, magic and all sorts of cool stuff. I think they omitted the dragons and dinosaurs though. There's nothing quite like the truth ringing in your ears. And then finally, being able to hear it.
Now, for the grade. The true world of what heroes would be like cannot be graded with just any moment in wrestling history. It has to be a true moment. One that rang in with as much truth as someone in a costume and mask could possibly muster. And the moment I choose is one that rings truer to me than almost any other moment in wrestling history. And the true voice of wrestling, in my very not humble opinion, came when Joey Styles walked off the set of the live taping of Raw in late May 2006, after being pie faced by Jerry Lawler. After the commercial break Lawler called Styles back and apologized. And out came Styles, who ripped Lawler and the WWE a new one. Saying he was hired as an announcer not a Sports Entertainment storyteller. A role he was bumped off of Wrestlemania for. Bumped off Wrestlemania for JR. Who they fired only six months before, and then hired Styles to do his job. He then said he was bumped from Backlash. To which he had some hard feelings. "I'm not good enough to call Backlash?" He said he does what he does for every guy in the back who never wanted to be a "superstar" and wanted to be a wrestler.He called wrestling by himself for five years. No tv sidekicks, no story telling. Calling the matches move for move for half a decade.
Styles would later reveal in an interview with Bill Apter for www.1wrestling.com that he was approached by Vince to do the promo, and he was given full creative license for the wording he used.
Showing posts with label joey styles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joey styles. Show all posts
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Monday, August 23, 2010
Powergirl 1-12; A Hardcore Review
The 12 issue run by writers Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti with art chores handled by Amanda Conner. Variant covers were done for the first 3 issues by legendary pinup and cheesecake artist Matt Hughes. This run followed the successful 4 issue origin run in JSA Classified, with writing handled by Geoff Johns and pencils and inks by Amanda and Jimmy respectively.
The stint, showed Powergirl as her alter ego, Karen Starr building her new corporation Starrware Industries from the ground up. Starrware is a company that is helping the Earth go green by inventing products that can be utilized, but there's one problem, none of their inventions are being picked up by anyone.
On the other side of the cape, Powergirl hangs out with her new gal pal Terra. Who is not the reincarnation of Terra from Teen Titans glory and traitor-dom; but a whole new manifestation from the underground, literally. She is a being from the underworld. But she still has the same powers as the original Terra. The two fight a menace, not seen in quite a while in Ultra Humanite, who tears Manhattan from its foundations and lifts it into space. And it's a good thing Terra's around to watch PG's back, cause the entire JSA roster is busy.
The two celebrate their victory over Ultra Humanite, the new Dynamic Duo have a girls night out with a movie. But that gets interrupted with a meta human attack, that leaves Terra in her skivies. Afterwards, Powergirl lets Terra know about the importance of always wearing her uniform under her civies.
Powergirl takes on the likes of a universe traversing macho pig who's only hunting the best woman for the hope of a next generation on his planet. He attempts courting Powergirl, who rebuffs his advances. And after a whole issue, finds out no actual physical contact is needed in order to help his people have progeny.
Earth 2 Supergirl, Kara Zor-El fights the likes of Satanna, and Ultra Humanite yet again. Only this time Humanite has somehow transferred his persona into Terra. And after letting loose and taking out "evil" Terra, PG restores her friend he own mind, and effectively erases Humanite's hatred of her, not to mention helps cure Humanite so that he is no longer cursed to wear the permanent ape suit.
The coup de gras was of course a young man who snaps a few pics of Powergirl changing from PG to Karen Starr on a rooftop via super high quality camera lense. He blackmails Powergirl into doing his bidding. His first order of business is to have Powergirl escort him to his favorite comic book store? But that was on the cover, and something like that would never actually happen, would it? But after the pseudo- date, the kid becomes a local celebrity, and even gets asked out on a date by the cute girl who works at the comic book shop. So the remaining blackmail is averted and he surrenders the hard copies and digital files. This is the issue I had Amanda sign at San Diego Comic Con this year. I told her it was by far my favorite issue of the dozen. She was happy with my diagnosis and also said how disappointed she was when she was younger reading a comic and didn't get to see some of the cool things that were slated on the covers.
Powergirl 1-12 was a super fun ride, that was the first book I read every single month. And the grade I give to it is conversely hardcore. I give to you a match from Major League Wrestling. It involves the "Chairman of professional wrestling," La Parka (who is now known as LA Park) and the "Suicidal... Homicidal... Genocidal... Death defying maniac" known the world over as Sabu. This was the most hellish match in MLW's short history. And almost saw the unmasking of La Parka when Sabu repeatedly stabbed him in the face and head shredding most of his mask. Sabu was seconded by Bill Alphonso and help Sabu he did. Sabu seemed to have settled down a bit since his more suicidal days in Extreme Championship Wrestling, due in part to coaching by Alphonso. At least that's what Joey Styles said. He called the match. It was bloody, and high flying, with a lot more mat wrestling than you have come to expect from the two time former Heavyweight World Champion. But La Parka succumbed Sabu's famous finisher, the triple jump moonsault. Afterward, Sabu shook La Parka's hand and raised his arm in a show of good sportsmanship. But following that, La Parka attacked Bill Alphonso outside of the building, still clad in his shredded and blood covered mask. Fonzie screaming about how his arm was broken from the bottom of a pile of garbage cans.
See for yourself folks....
Sabu versus La Parka in Major League Wrestling
The stint, showed Powergirl as her alter ego, Karen Starr building her new corporation Starrware Industries from the ground up. Starrware is a company that is helping the Earth go green by inventing products that can be utilized, but there's one problem, none of their inventions are being picked up by anyone.
On the other side of the cape, Powergirl hangs out with her new gal pal Terra. Who is not the reincarnation of Terra from Teen Titans glory and traitor-dom; but a whole new manifestation from the underground, literally. She is a being from the underworld. But she still has the same powers as the original Terra. The two fight a menace, not seen in quite a while in Ultra Humanite, who tears Manhattan from its foundations and lifts it into space. And it's a good thing Terra's around to watch PG's back, cause the entire JSA roster is busy.
The two celebrate their victory over Ultra Humanite, the new Dynamic Duo have a girls night out with a movie. But that gets interrupted with a meta human attack, that leaves Terra in her skivies. Afterwards, Powergirl lets Terra know about the importance of always wearing her uniform under her civies.
Powergirl takes on the likes of a universe traversing macho pig who's only hunting the best woman for the hope of a next generation on his planet. He attempts courting Powergirl, who rebuffs his advances. And after a whole issue, finds out no actual physical contact is needed in order to help his people have progeny.
Earth 2 Supergirl, Kara Zor-El fights the likes of Satanna, and Ultra Humanite yet again. Only this time Humanite has somehow transferred his persona into Terra. And after letting loose and taking out "evil" Terra, PG restores her friend he own mind, and effectively erases Humanite's hatred of her, not to mention helps cure Humanite so that he is no longer cursed to wear the permanent ape suit.
The coup de gras was of course a young man who snaps a few pics of Powergirl changing from PG to Karen Starr on a rooftop via super high quality camera lense. He blackmails Powergirl into doing his bidding. His first order of business is to have Powergirl escort him to his favorite comic book store? But that was on the cover, and something like that would never actually happen, would it? But after the pseudo- date, the kid becomes a local celebrity, and even gets asked out on a date by the cute girl who works at the comic book shop. So the remaining blackmail is averted and he surrenders the hard copies and digital files. This is the issue I had Amanda sign at San Diego Comic Con this year. I told her it was by far my favorite issue of the dozen. She was happy with my diagnosis and also said how disappointed she was when she was younger reading a comic and didn't get to see some of the cool things that were slated on the covers.
Powergirl 1-12 was a super fun ride, that was the first book I read every single month. And the grade I give to it is conversely hardcore. I give to you a match from Major League Wrestling. It involves the "Chairman of professional wrestling," La Parka (who is now known as LA Park) and the "Suicidal... Homicidal... Genocidal... Death defying maniac" known the world over as Sabu. This was the most hellish match in MLW's short history. And almost saw the unmasking of La Parka when Sabu repeatedly stabbed him in the face and head shredding most of his mask. Sabu was seconded by Bill Alphonso and help Sabu he did. Sabu seemed to have settled down a bit since his more suicidal days in Extreme Championship Wrestling, due in part to coaching by Alphonso. At least that's what Joey Styles said. He called the match. It was bloody, and high flying, with a lot more mat wrestling than you have come to expect from the two time former Heavyweight World Champion. But La Parka succumbed Sabu's famous finisher, the triple jump moonsault. Afterward, Sabu shook La Parka's hand and raised his arm in a show of good sportsmanship. But following that, La Parka attacked Bill Alphonso outside of the building, still clad in his shredded and blood covered mask. Fonzie screaming about how his arm was broken from the bottom of a pile of garbage cans.
See for yourself folks....
Sabu versus La Parka in Major League Wrestling
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