Powergirl #4; A Hardcore Review

Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
Reviewing today I have Powergirl issue 4 of her new ongoing series. Written by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, with art chores done by Amanda Conner. This was a really fun issue to read as the title was "Girls Night Out." PG takes Terra to a movie. Being that Terra has lived underground for her whole life, she does not know the etiquette of movie going. She is also new to the hero biz, so she isn't wearing his costume under her regular clothes, thus causing her to help fight off some goofy fairy goddess while in her tighty whities. Even theough they were black with a lady bug on it. The comic hijinks ensue as PG as Karen Starr also has to find herself a new place to live. Starrware Industries is hemorrhaging money. They haven't made any sales of their inventions and PG is sleeping on the couch in her office. This entire issue is fun and also a really good jumping on point if you missed the first few issues. And if you did, SHAME ON YOU! This is one of the first books I read when it comes in. The combination and teamwork on the creative side coupled with just the idea of PG is amazing. And yes, in every issue there are ample, pun intended, close ups of Powergirl's true superpowers, her chest's ability to defy gravity. But PG has gone from being a one note wonder in terms of her bustiness, to a very awesome character to read monthly. Her relationship in mentoring young Terra is hilarious, cause you get the impression Powergirl is really just winging it herself. I mean she's been a team with the likes of Atom Smasher, Black Canary, Wildcat, Liberty Bell, Mr. Terrific and the Golden Age Green Lantern Alan Scott and Golden Age Flash Jay Garrick. SO out on her own, Karen is a bit humbled by her responsibilities and exactly what being a solo hero means. Like when she calls for help and everyone is busy in issue 3. The lone gunman to help, the inexperienced
and often over her head Terra. But Terra's massive exuberance makes up for her being a n00b in the hero game.
I gotta say, that in a long line of artists, Amanda Conner is blooming amazingly with her characterizations of both Terra, PG and the rest of the cast of Powergirl. Her facial expressions are amazing, and along the lines of Kevin Maguire (of Justice League International fame) and the upcoming Wet Moon creator Ross Campbell. She keeps this up and I'm gonna nominate her for an Eisner in 2010. And Jimmy Palmiotti has proven that he is not a second fiddle to anyone in the creative business. You hear that Joe. He writes humor and super heroics as well as anyone. The dialog is pithy and an super amusing. Jimmy has cemented himself as one half of an up and coming creative force to be reckoned with. Justin Gray is also an amazing writer and I truly hope this team stays together on this title for a long time.
This book rates something that once had never happened in professional wrestling, a cat fight. THE cat fight in ECW. And being that is was just the 14 Anniversary of this catfight a few days ago, it fits just right. Stevie Richards had been the lackey of one Raven for some time in ECW. Raven has a valet named Beulah McGillicuty. Apparently Stevie, being a clueless putz (thanks Joey) eventually garnered a female interest from the crowd. A young Francine. Yes, that Francine. The one who turned on the Pittbulls, and managed Shane Douglas to more gold than Mr. T wears around his massive neck. Well, Rave got tired of Stevie getting some cheers and ordered Beulah to fight Francine. This was a fight down to their bra and panties type of match with a really fucked up ending. Stevie Richards superkicking the only woman who would willingly lip lock with him on camera, who wasn't already a whore (ie Missy Hyatt) or certifiable (ie Victoria, although I don't ever remember her kissing him EVAR!) In the immortal words of Joey Styles, "CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!"

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies; A Hardcore Review

First off this is NOT a review of the comic book story arc by Ed McGuinness and JEph Loeb. This is a review of the animated featured BASED on that story arc. The first six issues of the now in its 70's Superman/Batman modern take on World's Finest.
The band is back together again. They got Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly and Clancy Brown all back for this amazing feature about Lex Luthor becoming president and launching a very public, very unconstitutional vendetta against the Man of Steel. And as his best friend and Yin to his Yang, Batman is along for the ride. CCH Pounder also reprises her voice role as Amanda Waller. Added to the vocal cast was Allison Mack (Chloe on Smallville) as Powergirl, LeVar Burton (tv's Reading Rainbow and Star Trek TNG) as Black Lightning and John C. McGinley as Metallo. Superb voice work in a lot of respects. Kevin Conroy IS Batman and what most of us think of when we think of Batman. And Tim Daly plays a calm to Conroy's flaming malice. Vocally at least.
I have to say I was seriously pleased with the artwork and character design in this movie. They did a quality job holding onto the style of Ed McGuinness. And yes, before you ask Powergirl's biggest and best features are clear and present. And they are also referenced during the scene with Toyman. Mack's voicing of Powegirl is a very good addition to the pack. Hey I'm a Powergirl fan. But I think a deeper, smokier and throatier voice might have been more appropriate. I may be seeping into my dirtier mind for this, but Powergirl always struck me as more of a "Cougar" to the goody goody ideas of super heroes. But Allison Mack give's Kara a more subdued and down to Earth quality. The girl next door with the really big tits that you think about at night when you're trying to go to sleep. Hey, it's a fucking "hardcore review," not some pussy as Ebert and Roper piece of shit sweetly worded and packaged for the retarded masses.
The whole sequence of events with Batman coming to Supes' aide in the cemetary while The Man of Steel gets his ass handed to him by Metallo is fucking great. The back and forth banter is right on with how two long time friends would talk. You know if one was a grizzly crime fighter with no powers and the other an alien from a far advance civilization than Earth who was godlike in his daily life. And Metallo's villainy as Luthor's henchman is AWESOME! Steam shovel in hand, literally, as he spanks Superman while stepping all over people's graves. Fuck, how do they get away with this in an animated movie is spectacular and completely badass. And then the classic, "Do us a favor and lose the sense of humor.""Do us a favor and buy one," dialog.... MUAH! Like a fat french chef making some kick mother fucking ass pastries and getting them to you fresh out of the oven.
This whole movie was pure horror show from start to finish. And if you need to understand that last kudos, pick up a copy of Clockwork Orange with the English slang dictionary in the back. So, yeah, not the movie, the book. I enjoyed this movie from start to finish and seeing Superman rip off the Captain Marvel suit to reveal the "S" FUCK YEAH! I got an animated boner from that shit. All the way to Luthor and his totally pimped out Super Powers suit and shooting up the Kryptonite 'roids. Think about it, this was a phenomenal translation from print to screen. It dealt with a lot of shit we see on a daily basis. Someone buying the presidential election, people who are supposed to be our heroes using performance enhancing drugs, and the ever present, American government having little if any credibility. Hey and let's not forget the crash of the economy they added to the beginning of this movie to make it more authentic and able to be related to.
And the best part, I seriously want to say was Powergirl's tits, but alas it was the voice cast. I know I addressed this before, but FUCK IT, it's my review and I'll talk about whatever I want over and over again. Even if I want to mention Powergirl's jugs one more time. Even Bruce Timm and Andrea Romano, the executive producer and voice casting director respectively got in on the fun, as Mongul and Giganta. The little things that were added in for the hardcore fans was very much appreciated and will be watched over and over and over. Especially when PG is first introduced as an enforcer. Seeing her tits appear about three seconds before the rest of her showed up on screen makes me happy every fucking time I see it.
From top to bottom, and all around, Superman/ Batman Public Enemies is a seriously bloody thumb to the eye! And going back to what made this Hardcore Review famous, at least in my own mind, the grade. Now this is a long overdue nod to a man who eats, sleeps, breathes and smokes hardcore. Rob Van Dam making his first title contention on Monday night on Spike TV against AJ Styles theTNA World Heavyweight Champion. One night after pulling double duty at Lock Down, where Rob took out James Storm and then helped Team Hogan (barf) take out Team Flair (Wooooo!), a busted up Rob, complete with Sharpied on "TNA" made his intentions and still amazing in ring abilities know to the world. It was a double double for us wrestling fans, as we saw RVD fight it out with Jeff Hardy for the title shot later on in the main event. And then He did it. Capturing the belt in a show of athleticism and original RVD style. The "Whole Fuckin' Show" reigned supreme and finished off the champ by getting higher than any man has ever gotten in a wrestling ring before or since, five star frog splash bitches! Uno dos tres!