Batman Mad Love & Other Stories; A Hardcore Review *SPOILERS*

FINALLY Harley Quinn and her origin have come to the Hardcore Review. The ultimate story about Harley Quinn is such a treat to read and this is actually the second copy I have gotten of it. The first being a second print of the prestige format edition from the mid nineties. I traded a bunch of Lady Death comics to my friend, Dave, who is now my tattoo artist.
The story is drawn in the amazing style of the Batman the Animated Series by Bruce Timm and written by the enigmatic Paul Dini, both producers of the show that raised me on comics. BTAS is probably my favorite all time cartoon of ALL TIME. And to have a hardcover account of Harley's origin is pretty fucking spiffy in my book. I actually got to meet Bruce Timm at my first ever convention, Wizard World LA 2005. He drew me a Batman head and I got to tell him how much the show meant to me. The guy in line before me had the first volume of BTAS and had Timm sign every disc in the set. It was kind of funny, cause even then (my first con) I didn't really linger around the Big 2's booths. And now at SDCC I try to avoid them if I can.
The story goes like this, Harley Quinn wasn't always the Joker's sidekick. At one point she was a standout athlete in gymnastics who got a full ride to Gotham University. She excelled in her courses, but not due to hard work. She romanced her professors into making her a straight A student and a seeming prodigy in Psychology. Wanting to cash in and write tell all books about her case work, after graduation, Quinn, then Harley Quinzel, became a head shrink at Gotham City's most notorious facility, Arkham Asylum. Here she met the prize and prince of crime, Clown Prince that is, in the Joker. Falling victim to the Joker's charm and hard luck story, Doctor Quinzel let her guard down and Joker knew he had her. From that point on, there was nothing Harley wouldn't do for her Mr. J.
Bouncing back to present time, Harley is busy planning for the future, while Joker is determined to put the Batman on ice. After failing at her attempts to seduce the Joker, and being tossed out of a fifth story window, Harley decides enough is enough. But not in the way you might think. Harley has a plan to get rid of the obstacle between her an Mr. J once and for all.
Enter the "Death of a Hundred Smiles." What an awesome possible scenario. And the fact that this story, proved that Quinn wasn't just a cheap female Joker knock off. Harley had a mind and a demeanor that allowed her to be just as psychotic as the Joker, even more so, since her motives were purely based upon her "love" for her Puddin'. Harley wasn't just a flaky female foil for Batman. Sure she still has her moments of ditziness, but she is also in control of her destiny. And being that she was formed in an abusive relationship, and being that I have seen what abuse can do to the victim and their family and friends makes this story that much more important to me. Sure, fists can hurt someone. Usually those bruises and broken bones heal, but the psychological ramifications and scars run deep, and sometimes never allow the victim to heal.
This story, being so important to me and relevant to comic book history I have to give it a grade worthy of an equally important moment in wrestling history. A moment, that I believe was not recorded for posterity. It was the early 1990's and it was in Germany, a country known for tyranny and a butcherous nature. The match was Cactus Jack and Vader. Vader whipped Jack into the ropes, and Mick (Jack) took the move like a pro. He ended up in what was called a "hangman," where the wrestler gets his neck intertwined between the top and middle ropes. The move isn't normally dangerous, but in a match preceding this one, Too Cold Scorpio requested that the ring ropes be tightened. The tighter ropes caused Mick's ear to be torn from the side of his head. Being the ring warrior that his is, Foley kept on wrestling, while the ring announcer picked up the dismembered ear and ran it to the back where it was put on ice for a trip to the nearest hospital to have it reattached. And in a promo a few years later, Mick revealed that because he didn't know the German word for formaldehyde he wasn't able to ask for his ear back, as the nurse dropped it into the trash and said, "It's all a big joke."

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies; A Hardcore Review

First off this is NOT a review of the comic book story arc by Ed McGuinness and JEph Loeb. This is a review of the animated featured BASED on that story arc. The first six issues of the now in its 70's Superman/Batman modern take on World's Finest.
The band is back together again. They got Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly and Clancy Brown all back for this amazing feature about Lex Luthor becoming president and launching a very public, very unconstitutional vendetta against the Man of Steel. And as his best friend and Yin to his Yang, Batman is along for the ride. CCH Pounder also reprises her voice role as Amanda Waller. Added to the vocal cast was Allison Mack (Chloe on Smallville) as Powergirl, LeVar Burton (tv's Reading Rainbow and Star Trek TNG) as Black Lightning and John C. McGinley as Metallo. Superb voice work in a lot of respects. Kevin Conroy IS Batman and what most of us think of when we think of Batman. And Tim Daly plays a calm to Conroy's flaming malice. Vocally at least.
I have to say I was seriously pleased with the artwork and character design in this movie. They did a quality job holding onto the style of Ed McGuinness. And yes, before you ask Powergirl's biggest and best features are clear and present. And they are also referenced during the scene with Toyman. Mack's voicing of Powegirl is a very good addition to the pack. Hey I'm a Powergirl fan. But I think a deeper, smokier and throatier voice might have been more appropriate. I may be seeping into my dirtier mind for this, but Powergirl always struck me as more of a "Cougar" to the goody goody ideas of super heroes. But Allison Mack give's Kara a more subdued and down to Earth quality. The girl next door with the really big tits that you think about at night when you're trying to go to sleep. Hey, it's a fucking "hardcore review," not some pussy as Ebert and Roper piece of shit sweetly worded and packaged for the retarded masses.
The whole sequence of events with Batman coming to Supes' aide in the cemetary while The Man of Steel gets his ass handed to him by Metallo is fucking great. The back and forth banter is right on with how two long time friends would talk. You know if one was a grizzly crime fighter with no powers and the other an alien from a far advance civilization than Earth who was godlike in his daily life. And Metallo's villainy as Luthor's henchman is AWESOME! Steam shovel in hand, literally, as he spanks Superman while stepping all over people's graves. Fuck, how do they get away with this in an animated movie is spectacular and completely badass. And then the classic, "Do us a favor and lose the sense of humor.""Do us a favor and buy one," dialog.... MUAH! Like a fat french chef making some kick mother fucking ass pastries and getting them to you fresh out of the oven.
This whole movie was pure horror show from start to finish. And if you need to understand that last kudos, pick up a copy of Clockwork Orange with the English slang dictionary in the back. So, yeah, not the movie, the book. I enjoyed this movie from start to finish and seeing Superman rip off the Captain Marvel suit to reveal the "S" FUCK YEAH! I got an animated boner from that shit. All the way to Luthor and his totally pimped out Super Powers suit and shooting up the Kryptonite 'roids. Think about it, this was a phenomenal translation from print to screen. It dealt with a lot of shit we see on a daily basis. Someone buying the presidential election, people who are supposed to be our heroes using performance enhancing drugs, and the ever present, American government having little if any credibility. Hey and let's not forget the crash of the economy they added to the beginning of this movie to make it more authentic and able to be related to.
And the best part, I seriously want to say was Powergirl's tits, but alas it was the voice cast. I know I addressed this before, but FUCK IT, it's my review and I'll talk about whatever I want over and over again. Even if I want to mention Powergirl's jugs one more time. Even Bruce Timm and Andrea Romano, the executive producer and voice casting director respectively got in on the fun, as Mongul and Giganta. The little things that were added in for the hardcore fans was very much appreciated and will be watched over and over and over. Especially when PG is first introduced as an enforcer. Seeing her tits appear about three seconds before the rest of her showed up on screen makes me happy every fucking time I see it.
From top to bottom, and all around, Superman/ Batman Public Enemies is a seriously bloody thumb to the eye! And going back to what made this Hardcore Review famous, at least in my own mind, the grade. Now this is a long overdue nod to a man who eats, sleeps, breathes and smokes hardcore. Rob Van Dam making his first title contention on Monday night on Spike TV against AJ Styles theTNA World Heavyweight Champion. One night after pulling double duty at Lock Down, where Rob took out James Storm and then helped Team Hogan (barf) take out Team Flair (Wooooo!), a busted up Rob, complete with Sharpied on "TNA" made his intentions and still amazing in ring abilities know to the world. It was a double double for us wrestling fans, as we saw RVD fight it out with Jeff Hardy for the title shot later on in the main event. And then He did it. Capturing the belt in a show of athleticism and original RVD style. The "Whole Fuckin' Show" reigned supreme and finished off the champ by getting higher than any man has ever gotten in a wrestling ring before or since, five star frog splash bitches! Uno dos tres!