Tank Girl 3: A Hardcore Review

In case you're wondering, here's the cover to the project

This series of short stories, sees Tank Girl getting into all sorts of shenanigans with her boyfriend Booga. In the first story Tank Girl and Booga are being tracked by bounty hunters. Booga asks Tank Girl, "What plan should we go with, A, B, C, D or E?" To which Tank Girl quips, "Why plan C of course." Booga can't remember, so he states, "Remind me of what plan C entails." Tank Girl replies as only she can, "Every time you kill someone you have to do a stylish celebrity impersonation."
Shit like this is why, Tank Girl is a beloved character. She's a bonafied indie comic book icon. Possibly even more followed and loved in America than in England where she was created by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin.
The plane trip in on a special weekend has Tank Girl blast a hole in the magnificent afro of soccer superstar Kevin Keegan so she can watch the in flight movie. Tank Girl and Booga go to visit Booga's parents where, Booga's dad, who has a strange reaction to cheese, turns into a hairy monster who breaks loose and terrorizes the surrounding countryside. It's revealed that a secret agent posing as Kevin Keegan sedates Booga's pops with a tranq gun.
There's a coupld of short stories, starring Jet Girl, where she tries to rearrange the rocks on a mountainside all the while having heavy artillery fired at her.
Noy much changes for Tank Girl as Booga becomes a messiah of sorts to a legion of brainwashed followers. In this story, the path to enlightenment is attained through gorging yourself on tons of food, without puking until you gain the light. The end sees Booga barf and Tank Girl wake up to having "a strange dream," while sleeping beside some really creepy old dude.
Hijacking a jumping castle in order to escape the massing horde of would be hired guns, Tank Girl, Booga and the operator of the jumping castle bolt from the amusement park. Don't worry, there's tons of boozing, and carousing by "the girl you want." As well as a bitchload of comedy. Yeah, I said bitchload. What the fuck's wrong with my grammar? Nothing, that's what.
For all the talking that Tank Girl does, it make be her quasi lunatic actions that get overlooked. And in keeping with the tradition of the Hardcore Review, and I say tradition very loosely, cause well, if there's anything to be gained from these reviews, it's that there is no real tradition or correlation to be made other than me using as much foul language as possible to describe how much I either loved or hated something. That an the use of wrestling analogies for the grading system. This moment stems from ECW's Anarchy Rulz 2000 where Rob Van Dam, "the Whole Fuckin' Show" attempted to regain, "the title he never lost from the man he never beat (the Sinister Minister)," in Rhino. The end of the match saw Bill Alphonso aide Van Dam, by lining up the steel chair in Rhino's face for the impending Van-Terminator. Well, Van Dam hit the vaunted Van-Terminator, but in mid flight from corner to corner, Rhino pulled diminutive manager Fonzy into the path of fire. Causing Alphonso to be crushed between the steel chair, Rhino and the oncoming 234 pound missile from Battle Creek. Van Dam was then piledriven through a table at ringside and the picked up and gored through a table propped up in the corner. FUCK!

Unbreakable; A Hardcore Review

My job entails that I stay awake three nights a week while my clients get some well deserved shut eye. In order to help myself stay conscious, I take a plethora of caffeinated soda and my PS3, and a small selection of movies and games. Tonight I watched one of my all time favorite movies, Unbreakable. This movie is great for so many reasons. It caught a lot of flak for having the whole comic book tie in, especially at the begining where it gives random facts about comics. I loved it the first time I saw it back in 2000 and I love it nine years later. Willis and Jackson play off of each other so well, with Robin Wright Penn doing a fantastic job of playing the estranged wife who just wants her husband back. The opening of the movie on the train is such a great way to begin. No back story, just David Dunn's semi origin.
And when he meets Elijah for the first time, Jackson lets slip that he is the villain. He refers to David's son, Joseph as "the child." Not, "your son," or by his name, simply as a noun, almost a pro-noun if he could have gramatically gotten away with it. This was something that I never noticed until now as a crux point in revealing the Elijah character. Also, his description of the characters in battle. The villain having a slightly larger head than the hero. And with his hair, Elijah most definately has a larger melon than Dunn.
The key moments in this movie may have been left on the cutting room floor, as one of the deleted scenes reveals David Dunn trembling and sobbing in the shower. Shyamalan stated that he felt this moment came to late in the movie and that Willis' character would have had too much time to move on from his terrible origin of the massive train derailment. I feel the opposite. A character might look like they have passed that moment by, but most people will break down at the most unusual times. The other possibility could be that David was supposed to be the strong, silent, heroic type. I can agree with that notion, although it makes for a typical and in my opinion, boring archetype. Things manifest themselves in this movie very well, especially the relationship between David and his son, when Joseph decides to prove to him that he is "unbreakable." The reactions from Willis and Wright Penn are phenomenal, and Joseph's Spencer Treat Clark is right up there with Haley Joel Osment with Willis in The Sixth Sense. The cast was firing on all cylinders. And Jackson as always is tops with his over the top at the end, but perfect shaping of Elijah. Now Jackson may pick his rolls out of a hat. Sometimes it's a great character, and sometimes it's Formula 51, but this time, Jackson was spot on and I have no complaints what so ever.
And now for the grade. Unbreakable is quite possibly one of the greatest comic book movies ever made. And it is an enjoyable ride the first or the hundred and first time you watch it. This movie receives its just desserts in the form of one of the most awesome maneuvers ever pulled off in a wrestling ring. It's Rob Van Dam hitting his magnum opus for the very first time on his "best friend," Scotty Anton.Often immitated, never ever fucking duplicated, The Van Terminator!