Recently, I ordered Dan Mendoza's Zombie Tramp volume one from Super Real Graphics. I follow Dan on DeviantArt and have been admiring his pics of the Zombie Tramp, Janey. It's actually a light hearted tale about Hollywood's best call girl, Janey. Her Madame, gets blackmailed by a crooked cop and is forced to send Janey to the cop's home. Janey gets forced into the basement where the crooked cop's son is waiting, and hungry. For some reason, the cop's son is a zombie and he takes a chunk out of Janey's supple bod. Afterward, Janey dies.... and re-emerges, with the help of the equally busty Zombie Voodoo Priestess, Xula as The Zombie Tramp, the hottest, not completely clothed, large breasted zombie EVER!
This book is fucking great. It's done mostly in black and white, with splashes of color, mostly red. But damn it's fucking great. Who doesn't love some scantily clad goodness with extra large jublies all around. And there is nudity. I was fucking waiting for that through the whole book. And Dan finally delivered at the very end of the book. Zombie or not, there's a ton of comic book fans, male and female who would risk their humanity for a piece of that ass. And Mendoza is working feverishly on volume two. More ultra large zombie titties, bouncing around as only saline can deliver.
Zombie Tramp reads, much like a late 80's early 90's really low rent zombie flicks. B-Horror is one of the all time best genres of movies ever. I mean look at the great things we've gotten from it: Bruce Campbell, a naked as fuck Linnea Quigley, Sam Raimi, Liam Neeson, Bruce Campbell's chin and so much more. And this whole concept is as fun and fucked as anything could possibly be.
Zombies have become a staple of pop culture. Here in Tucson, we have Zombie Walk, and there's a Zombie Ball, at Phoenix Con we get Zombie Prom and the Zombie Beauty Pageant. Zombies have taken the world by storm, something piss poor vampires never totally could. And Stephanie Meyer, if you ever think to write a story about sparkling zombies, I will find you and sing annoying songs at the top of my lungs until your ears bleed.
Now for the grade. As you may or may not know, I don't use some sort of lame thumbs up my ass, a piss poor letter or number grade. No, this is the mother fucking, original HARDCORE REVIEW. I only grade with hardcore moments in wrestling history. And this is not an exception to that rule. It was the very first episode of ECW on Sci-Fi, produced by the WWE. And I know, you're thinking nothing involving WWE's ECW was hardcore. But I hit you in the face with a steel chair with thumb tacks super glues to it. Listen up spunky, cause here we go. It's actually two moments from that initial show. The first being Paul Heyman's emergence and presentation of the new ECW World Heavyweight Championship belt to Rob Van Dam, who had just won the WWE Championship from John Cena at ECW's One Night Stand two nights before. When Heyman gives the belt to RVD, RVD says he's honored to have the belt he fought for in ECW for so many years. But he wants to keep the WWE Championship too. The quote is awesome, "Look, it spins!" God I loved that shit! The second part, was when a fucking zombie came out of the walkway and tried to cut a moaning promo in the middle of the ring. The crowd honestly didn't know what to think, when all of a sudden (not on television tho) "Enter Sandman" hits the PA system and the crowd fucking lost it. Sandman walks he way down to the ring, shotgunning beers the entire way. Stumbles over the barricade, slides into the ring and canes the holy fuck out of the zombie. They rigged the zombies shirt full of sawdust, so every time he got nailed, dust flew into the air and the crowd cheered as wrestling's Hardcore Icon beat the shit out of some poor sonofabitch who is probably a star now under Vince McMahon's infinite wisdom. Hope you enjoyed this review as much I enjoyed drinking while writing it.
Showing posts with label rob van dam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rob van dam. Show all posts
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Tank Girl 3: A Hardcore Review
In case you're wondering, here's the cover to the project
This series of short stories, sees Tank Girl getting into all sorts of shenanigans with her boyfriend Booga. In the first story Tank Girl and Booga are being tracked by bounty hunters. Booga asks Tank Girl, "What plan should we go with, A, B, C, D or E?" To which Tank Girl quips, "Why plan C of course." Booga can't remember, so he states, "Remind me of what plan C entails." Tank Girl replies as only she can, "Every time you kill someone you have to do a stylish celebrity impersonation."
Shit like this is why, Tank Girl is a beloved character. She's a bonafied indie comic book icon. Possibly even more followed and loved in America than in England where she was created by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin.
The plane trip in on a special weekend has Tank Girl blast a hole in the magnificent afro of soccer superstar Kevin Keegan so she can watch the in flight movie. Tank Girl and Booga go to visit Booga's parents where, Booga's dad, who has a strange reaction to cheese, turns into a hairy monster who breaks loose and terrorizes the surrounding countryside. It's revealed that a secret agent posing as Kevin Keegan sedates Booga's pops with a tranq gun.
There's a coupld of short stories, starring Jet Girl, where she tries to rearrange the rocks on a mountainside all the while having heavy artillery fired at her.
Noy much changes for Tank Girl as Booga becomes a messiah of sorts to a legion of brainwashed followers. In this story, the path to enlightenment is attained through gorging yourself on tons of food, without puking until you gain the light. The end sees Booga barf and Tank Girl wake up to having "a strange dream," while sleeping beside some really creepy old dude.
Hijacking a jumping castle in order to escape the massing horde of would be hired guns, Tank Girl, Booga and the operator of the jumping castle bolt from the amusement park. Don't worry, there's tons of boozing, and carousing by "the girl you want." As well as a bitchload of comedy. Yeah, I said bitchload. What the fuck's wrong with my grammar? Nothing, that's what.
For all the talking that Tank Girl does, it make be her quasi lunatic actions that get overlooked. And in keeping with the tradition of the Hardcore Review, and I say tradition very loosely, cause well, if there's anything to be gained from these reviews, it's that there is no real tradition or correlation to be made other than me using as much foul language as possible to describe how much I either loved or hated something. That an the use of wrestling analogies for the grading system. This moment stems from ECW's Anarchy Rulz 2000 where Rob Van Dam, "the Whole Fuckin' Show" attempted to regain, "the title he never lost from the man he never beat (the Sinister Minister)," in Rhino. The end of the match saw Bill Alphonso aide Van Dam, by lining up the steel chair in Rhino's face for the impending Van-Terminator. Well, Van Dam hit the vaunted Van-Terminator, but in mid flight from corner to corner, Rhino pulled diminutive manager Fonzy into the path of fire. Causing Alphonso to be crushed between the steel chair, Rhino and the oncoming 234 pound missile from Battle Creek. Van Dam was then piledriven through a table at ringside and the picked up and gored through a table propped up in the corner. FUCK!
This series of short stories, sees Tank Girl getting into all sorts of shenanigans with her boyfriend Booga. In the first story Tank Girl and Booga are being tracked by bounty hunters. Booga asks Tank Girl, "What plan should we go with, A, B, C, D or E?" To which Tank Girl quips, "Why plan C of course." Booga can't remember, so he states, "Remind me of what plan C entails." Tank Girl replies as only she can, "Every time you kill someone you have to do a stylish celebrity impersonation."
Shit like this is why, Tank Girl is a beloved character. She's a bonafied indie comic book icon. Possibly even more followed and loved in America than in England where she was created by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin.
The plane trip in on a special weekend has Tank Girl blast a hole in the magnificent afro of soccer superstar Kevin Keegan so she can watch the in flight movie. Tank Girl and Booga go to visit Booga's parents where, Booga's dad, who has a strange reaction to cheese, turns into a hairy monster who breaks loose and terrorizes the surrounding countryside. It's revealed that a secret agent posing as Kevin Keegan sedates Booga's pops with a tranq gun.
There's a coupld of short stories, starring Jet Girl, where she tries to rearrange the rocks on a mountainside all the while having heavy artillery fired at her.
Noy much changes for Tank Girl as Booga becomes a messiah of sorts to a legion of brainwashed followers. In this story, the path to enlightenment is attained through gorging yourself on tons of food, without puking until you gain the light. The end sees Booga barf and Tank Girl wake up to having "a strange dream," while sleeping beside some really creepy old dude.
Hijacking a jumping castle in order to escape the massing horde of would be hired guns, Tank Girl, Booga and the operator of the jumping castle bolt from the amusement park. Don't worry, there's tons of boozing, and carousing by "the girl you want." As well as a bitchload of comedy. Yeah, I said bitchload. What the fuck's wrong with my grammar? Nothing, that's what.
For all the talking that Tank Girl does, it make be her quasi lunatic actions that get overlooked. And in keeping with the tradition of the Hardcore Review, and I say tradition very loosely, cause well, if there's anything to be gained from these reviews, it's that there is no real tradition or correlation to be made other than me using as much foul language as possible to describe how much I either loved or hated something. That an the use of wrestling analogies for the grading system. This moment stems from ECW's Anarchy Rulz 2000 where Rob Van Dam, "the Whole Fuckin' Show" attempted to regain, "the title he never lost from the man he never beat (the Sinister Minister)," in Rhino. The end of the match saw Bill Alphonso aide Van Dam, by lining up the steel chair in Rhino's face for the impending Van-Terminator. Well, Van Dam hit the vaunted Van-Terminator, but in mid flight from corner to corner, Rhino pulled diminutive manager Fonzy into the path of fire. Causing Alphonso to be crushed between the steel chair, Rhino and the oncoming 234 pound missile from Battle Creek. Van Dam was then piledriven through a table at ringside and the picked up and gored through a table propped up in the corner. FUCK!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Unbreakable; A Hardcore Review
My job entails that I stay awake three nights a week while my clients get some well deserved shut eye. In order to help myself stay conscious, I take a plethora of caffeinated soda and my PS3, and a small selection of movies and games. Tonight I watched one of my all time favorite movies, Unbreakable. This movie is great for so many reasons. It caught a lot of flak for having the whole comic book tie in, especially at the begining where it gives random facts about comics. I loved it the first time I saw it back in 2000 and I love it nine years later. Willis and Jackson play off of each other so well, with Robin Wright Penn doing a fantastic job of playing the estranged wife who just wants her husband back. The opening of the movie on the train is such a great way to begin. No back story, just David Dunn's semi origin.
And when he meets Elijah for the first time, Jackson lets slip that he is the villain. He refers to David's son, Joseph as "the child." Not, "your son," or by his name, simply as a noun, almost a pro-noun if he could have gramatically gotten away with it. This was something that I never noticed until now as a crux point in revealing the Elijah character. Also, his description of the characters in battle. The villain having a slightly larger head than the hero. And with his hair, Elijah most definately has a larger melon than Dunn.
The key moments in this movie may have been left on the cutting room floor, as one of the deleted scenes reveals David Dunn trembling and sobbing in the shower. Shyamalan stated that he felt this moment came to late in the movie and that Willis' character would have had too much time to move on from his terrible origin of the massive train derailment. I feel the opposite. A character might look like they have passed that moment by, but most people will break down at the most unusual times. The other possibility could be that David was supposed to be the strong, silent, heroic type. I can agree with that notion, although it makes for a typical and in my opinion, boring archetype. Things manifest themselves in this movie very well, especially the relationship between David and his son, when Joseph decides to prove to him that he is "unbreakable." The reactions from Willis and Wright Penn are phenomenal, and Joseph's Spencer Treat Clark is right up there with Haley Joel Osment with Willis in The Sixth Sense. The cast was firing on all cylinders. And Jackson as always is tops with his over the top at the end, but perfect shaping of Elijah. Now Jackson may pick his rolls out of a hat. Sometimes it's a great character, and sometimes it's Formula 51, but this time, Jackson was spot on and I have no complaints what so ever.
And now for the grade. Unbreakable is quite possibly one of the greatest comic book movies ever made. And it is an enjoyable ride the first or the hundred and first time you watch it. This movie receives its just desserts in the form of one of the most awesome maneuvers ever pulled off in a wrestling ring. It's Rob Van Dam hitting his magnum opus for the very first time on his "best friend," Scotty Anton.Often immitated, never ever fucking duplicated, The Van Terminator!
And when he meets Elijah for the first time, Jackson lets slip that he is the villain. He refers to David's son, Joseph as "the child." Not, "your son," or by his name, simply as a noun, almost a pro-noun if he could have gramatically gotten away with it. This was something that I never noticed until now as a crux point in revealing the Elijah character. Also, his description of the characters in battle. The villain having a slightly larger head than the hero. And with his hair, Elijah most definately has a larger melon than Dunn.
The key moments in this movie may have been left on the cutting room floor, as one of the deleted scenes reveals David Dunn trembling and sobbing in the shower. Shyamalan stated that he felt this moment came to late in the movie and that Willis' character would have had too much time to move on from his terrible origin of the massive train derailment. I feel the opposite. A character might look like they have passed that moment by, but most people will break down at the most unusual times. The other possibility could be that David was supposed to be the strong, silent, heroic type. I can agree with that notion, although it makes for a typical and in my opinion, boring archetype. Things manifest themselves in this movie very well, especially the relationship between David and his son, when Joseph decides to prove to him that he is "unbreakable." The reactions from Willis and Wright Penn are phenomenal, and Joseph's Spencer Treat Clark is right up there with Haley Joel Osment with Willis in The Sixth Sense. The cast was firing on all cylinders. And Jackson as always is tops with his over the top at the end, but perfect shaping of Elijah. Now Jackson may pick his rolls out of a hat. Sometimes it's a great character, and sometimes it's Formula 51, but this time, Jackson was spot on and I have no complaints what so ever.
And now for the grade. Unbreakable is quite possibly one of the greatest comic book movies ever made. And it is an enjoyable ride the first or the hundred and first time you watch it. This movie receives its just desserts in the form of one of the most awesome maneuvers ever pulled off in a wrestling ring. It's Rob Van Dam hitting his magnum opus for the very first time on his "best friend," Scotty Anton.Often immitated, never ever fucking duplicated, The Van Terminator!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Scalped vol. 1; A Hardcore Review *SPOILERS*
What can I say about this trade other than it's FUCKING BRILLIANT! Jason Aaron writes a compelling, deep seeded book that R.M. Guera draws about Dashiell Bad Horse, a Lakota man who's come back to The Rez to find it in worse shape than when he left. Bad Horse is made a law man by Lincoln Red Crow, with the hopes of cleaning up the reservation in time for the Crazy Horse Casino opening. Dash is not at all excited about the new position he has, but takes it like a champ kicking the shit out of anyone who gets in his way. Not the least is his former Red Power revolutionary mother, Gina, with whom he is estranged. Red Horse busts out meth houses, while keeping tabs on the old love he left behind 15 years ago. And she hasn't forgotten the heart break either.
Red Crow, the prosperous tribal leader is mired in getting his 97 million dollar casino off the ground, while structuring back alley deals with drug dealers and the men who put him power. Also on his plate is dealing with his scandalous daughter who is the source of much shame to him. Red Crow surrounds himself with plenty of muscle and guns to keep things from going under. But there's only so much that can save you when the man you just hired to keep the situation in order is an undercover FBI agent. And Red Crow has a little too much on his plate to notice all the holes in his grand scheme.
Bad Horse is a bad mother fucker in every sense of those three words. The term "tough as nails cop," gets thrown around a lot too often in descriptions for movies, tv shows and novels these days. As sadly America's vocabulary suffers greatly from lack of use of a thesaurus. But Bad Horse is someone you do not wanna fuck with. Upon his return, everything is thrown into the blender and then poured out in a concoction of gasoline and volatile methamphetamine chemical cocktails. This is a book you do not want to miss.
Guera's artwork is fashionably subdued for this piece. Nothing is warranted like a book with the perfect art to compliment the writing. And it doesn't get any better than Scalped. With a solid Earth-tone palette and grizzly realism, Guera paints a gritty and fucked up picture to Aaron's words. And the flashback sequences are nothing short of genius, having the palette shift to gray scale to show the separation of time. If this duo hasn't won an award yet, it's not for lack of effort, that's for fucking sure. People need to put this book on their pull list for fear of being left out of a title that truly changes the face of comics today. And that is what has set Vertigo apart from the rest for so many years now. Their willingness to let the talent be the talent and let them tell stories the way they can do it best.
The intrigue from a double murder almost 25 years earlier, sends FBI agent Nitz recruiting Bad Horse from the academy and sending him back to Lakota land to bring down Red Crow. This all ties in with Red Crow, Bad Horse's mother and the mysterious man trailing Bad Horse at his secret rendezvous with Nitz. And that's just the first two story arcs.
Scalped is one of the most brutally shocking crime noir comics ever, and that's it's best selling point.
As you may well know these reviews are graded based upon moments in wrestling history. The more hardcore, sexual, violent, classic or otherwise the moment, the more I approve of the piece I am reviewing. Scalped rates pretty fucking high on that list. With its frankly downright honest dialog and story telling to the truth it holds with the art, I cannot help but fucking love this book. You won't hear mention of Hulk Hogan in this review, except for right there. Hardcore is a title that is earned and should never ever be given to someone or something. Especially when that someone or something has not earned it. And when Vince McMahon bought ECW, he thought he bought the idea of hardcore. You can't buy a legacy. You can't hold an idea in your hands and claim it's yours cause you shelled out a few million bucks for it. But when Pantera's "Walk" blared into the Hammerstein Ballroom on January 7, 2001 it meant something. And when Rob Van Dam, stepped from behind those curtains that night, the crowd lost it. He confidently sauntered to the ring in his now iconic tiger striped singlet and the crowd chanted with him, "WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!" as he did the double thumbs. Rob put on a performance that few have tried and even fewer have equaled. That night he fought the only man to ever take him to his limit in Jerry Lynn, new recruit to Cyrus. Lynn professed at the start of the pay per view that he would only wrestle in main events if he ever wrestled again. It was the main event and it was spectacular, as Van Dam and Lynn pulled out all the stops and then some. And with no one on his side. Sidekick and manager Bill Alphonso was not at ring side to help, who was gonna aide Van Dam in delivering the most dangerous and deadly finisher is wrestling. In steps the quintessential stud muffin, Joel Gertner who had been battling with Cyrus all through 2000 on pay per views and during the Friday night ECW on TNN. Gertner jumped into the ring saying he could do Van Dam's bidding, and so he should. Holding the steel chair over Lynn's face as he lay damn near unconscious in the corner. All in one motion, Van Dam leaped to the top turnbuckle and sprang corner to corner, to deliver the very last Van Terminator in ECW.
Red Crow, the prosperous tribal leader is mired in getting his 97 million dollar casino off the ground, while structuring back alley deals with drug dealers and the men who put him power. Also on his plate is dealing with his scandalous daughter who is the source of much shame to him. Red Crow surrounds himself with plenty of muscle and guns to keep things from going under. But there's only so much that can save you when the man you just hired to keep the situation in order is an undercover FBI agent. And Red Crow has a little too much on his plate to notice all the holes in his grand scheme.
Bad Horse is a bad mother fucker in every sense of those three words. The term "tough as nails cop," gets thrown around a lot too often in descriptions for movies, tv shows and novels these days. As sadly America's vocabulary suffers greatly from lack of use of a thesaurus. But Bad Horse is someone you do not wanna fuck with. Upon his return, everything is thrown into the blender and then poured out in a concoction of gasoline and volatile methamphetamine chemical cocktails. This is a book you do not want to miss.
Guera's artwork is fashionably subdued for this piece. Nothing is warranted like a book with the perfect art to compliment the writing. And it doesn't get any better than Scalped. With a solid Earth-tone palette and grizzly realism, Guera paints a gritty and fucked up picture to Aaron's words. And the flashback sequences are nothing short of genius, having the palette shift to gray scale to show the separation of time. If this duo hasn't won an award yet, it's not for lack of effort, that's for fucking sure. People need to put this book on their pull list for fear of being left out of a title that truly changes the face of comics today. And that is what has set Vertigo apart from the rest for so many years now. Their willingness to let the talent be the talent and let them tell stories the way they can do it best.
The intrigue from a double murder almost 25 years earlier, sends FBI agent Nitz recruiting Bad Horse from the academy and sending him back to Lakota land to bring down Red Crow. This all ties in with Red Crow, Bad Horse's mother and the mysterious man trailing Bad Horse at his secret rendezvous with Nitz. And that's just the first two story arcs.
Scalped is one of the most brutally shocking crime noir comics ever, and that's it's best selling point.
As you may well know these reviews are graded based upon moments in wrestling history. The more hardcore, sexual, violent, classic or otherwise the moment, the more I approve of the piece I am reviewing. Scalped rates pretty fucking high on that list. With its frankly downright honest dialog and story telling to the truth it holds with the art, I cannot help but fucking love this book. You won't hear mention of Hulk Hogan in this review, except for right there. Hardcore is a title that is earned and should never ever be given to someone or something. Especially when that someone or something has not earned it. And when Vince McMahon bought ECW, he thought he bought the idea of hardcore. You can't buy a legacy. You can't hold an idea in your hands and claim it's yours cause you shelled out a few million bucks for it. But when Pantera's "Walk" blared into the Hammerstein Ballroom on January 7, 2001 it meant something. And when Rob Van Dam, stepped from behind those curtains that night, the crowd lost it. He confidently sauntered to the ring in his now iconic tiger striped singlet and the crowd chanted with him, "WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!" as he did the double thumbs. Rob put on a performance that few have tried and even fewer have equaled. That night he fought the only man to ever take him to his limit in Jerry Lynn, new recruit to Cyrus. Lynn professed at the start of the pay per view that he would only wrestle in main events if he ever wrestled again. It was the main event and it was spectacular, as Van Dam and Lynn pulled out all the stops and then some. And with no one on his side. Sidekick and manager Bill Alphonso was not at ring side to help, who was gonna aide Van Dam in delivering the most dangerous and deadly finisher is wrestling. In steps the quintessential stud muffin, Joel Gertner who had been battling with Cyrus all through 2000 on pay per views and during the Friday night ECW on TNN. Gertner jumped into the ring saying he could do Van Dam's bidding, and so he should. Holding the steel chair over Lynn's face as he lay damn near unconscious in the corner. All in one motion, Van Dam leaped to the top turnbuckle and sprang corner to corner, to deliver the very last Van Terminator in ECW.
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Tick, The Complete Edlund; A Hardcore Review *SPOILERS*
Hilarious from start to end. I must first admit to not knowing much about the Tick other than him being a giant nigh invulnerable goof until Free Comic Book Day this year. I picked up the first issue as a freebie at Charlies Comics here in Tucson, AZ. Reading through it, I started to understand what all the fuss was about. So I inquired to Charlie about there being any trades of The Tick out. He stressed that the best one by far was The Tick: The Complete Edlund which contains the first 13 issues of the Tick, his super rare first appearance and a whole lot of dvd-like extras.
Edlund weaves a tale of Don Quixote-like proportions in "The City," the Tick's chosen stomping grounds. Here our big blue friend runs afoul of Clark Openheimer, a mild mannered reporter who wears.... hypno glasses as a disguise. Doing his best delusional hero thing, The Tick manages to somehow access Clark's Fortress thingee (careful to avoid lawsuits) and weaken him with a piece of green Otter Creekite, which turned out to just be a green eraser.
From there, the Tick meets Oedipus who looks a lot like a rick Greek who was trained by ninjas in Night of a Million Zillion Ninjas, where he has to beat up, literally a whole fucking lot of ninjas. And the Tick then declares that, "I thought they only hung around airports getting sucked up into jet engines." It is during this story that Tick meets Paul the Samurai, who smuggles his Katana blade through security at the airport in a loaf of French bread.
From here the Tick soon meets Aurthur. Actually it was during this storyline involving ninja and Paul and Oedipus. Tick moves in with Aurthur and the begin going out on patrol. The duo realize that there's little for them to do in The City so they strike out on the road to New York City to find their destiny of fighting super villains. It is during this road trip that they run across the Chainsaw Vigilante. Hilarious stuff like this should'a been a cartoon tv show. Oh, wait, IT WAS! In New York Tick meets Barry Hubris, who is also the Tick. The two fight a classic battle, where the Tick barely knows whats going on while getting pummeled. And only wins cause he's nigh invulnerable and Barry Hubris gets fucking tired. Turns out when you beat another hero who sports the same moniker, you get to keep the name and all of his crime fighting stuff. So the Tick inherits Hubris' Tick Cave, kitchen, dining room and one bathroom of his insanely Wayne-like estate.
The art is fantastic with just enough detail and splendor to make is pseudo-grimm and gritty, but to still have a ton of hilarity. Edlund is a master at comedy superheroism. So much so that I have considered changing the direction of my comic Youth in Asia to be more humorous. Still unsure about it. I know it would bring in more readers, but I dunno if it's the way I want to go. But I know it would be a lot of fun. I actually met Ben Edlund at Comic Con this year. Super nice guy. I didn't expect a comic book creator who has such a cult fan following to be so genuine and funny. He drew me a Tick head in my sketchbook and signed my copy of The Complete Edlund. I also gave him a copy of Fuzzyface, which sort of falls into the humor genre, although it's a horror-omedy.
In all, I have to give this story a deserving grade. I wanted to give it a funny hardcore grade, but I am seriously lacking on ideas for that right now. So, with last weekend, or the weekend before that, I watched TNA's HardCORE Justice ppv. The main event was scheduled to be Rob Van Dam against Jerry Lynn. But Lynn hurt his back while training so in stepped, the Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal Maniac known the world over, as Sabu. Sabu is a step slower than he used to be and the match was not as face paced as their wars in the past had been. But it still lived up to the memories. Sabu, spring boarding off the top rope into the crowd in pursuit of Van Dam, all the while Bill Alphonso lead the cheers in both directions. Sabu even hit a second rope spring board DDT, and a Super Arabian Face Buster. It was classic in every sense of the word. But in the end it was Sabu missing an Atomic Arabian Skull Crusher, where he went through a table. Van Dam capitalized hitting the Five Star Frog Splash and the match went home. These two men have had "respect" matches, stretcher matches, and World Television Title matches, but there was still gas in their tanks. And that gas was fucking combustible.
Edlund weaves a tale of Don Quixote-like proportions in "The City," the Tick's chosen stomping grounds. Here our big blue friend runs afoul of Clark Openheimer, a mild mannered reporter who wears.... hypno glasses as a disguise. Doing his best delusional hero thing, The Tick manages to somehow access Clark's Fortress thingee (careful to avoid lawsuits) and weaken him with a piece of green Otter Creekite, which turned out to just be a green eraser.
From there, the Tick meets Oedipus who looks a lot like a rick Greek who was trained by ninjas in Night of a Million Zillion Ninjas, where he has to beat up, literally a whole fucking lot of ninjas. And the Tick then declares that, "I thought they only hung around airports getting sucked up into jet engines." It is during this story that Tick meets Paul the Samurai, who smuggles his Katana blade through security at the airport in a loaf of French bread.
From here the Tick soon meets Aurthur. Actually it was during this storyline involving ninja and Paul and Oedipus. Tick moves in with Aurthur and the begin going out on patrol. The duo realize that there's little for them to do in The City so they strike out on the road to New York City to find their destiny of fighting super villains. It is during this road trip that they run across the Chainsaw Vigilante. Hilarious stuff like this should'a been a cartoon tv show. Oh, wait, IT WAS! In New York Tick meets Barry Hubris, who is also the Tick. The two fight a classic battle, where the Tick barely knows whats going on while getting pummeled. And only wins cause he's nigh invulnerable and Barry Hubris gets fucking tired. Turns out when you beat another hero who sports the same moniker, you get to keep the name and all of his crime fighting stuff. So the Tick inherits Hubris' Tick Cave, kitchen, dining room and one bathroom of his insanely Wayne-like estate.
The art is fantastic with just enough detail and splendor to make is pseudo-grimm and gritty, but to still have a ton of hilarity. Edlund is a master at comedy superheroism. So much so that I have considered changing the direction of my comic Youth in Asia to be more humorous. Still unsure about it. I know it would bring in more readers, but I dunno if it's the way I want to go. But I know it would be a lot of fun. I actually met Ben Edlund at Comic Con this year. Super nice guy. I didn't expect a comic book creator who has such a cult fan following to be so genuine and funny. He drew me a Tick head in my sketchbook and signed my copy of The Complete Edlund. I also gave him a copy of Fuzzyface, which sort of falls into the humor genre, although it's a horror-omedy.
In all, I have to give this story a deserving grade. I wanted to give it a funny hardcore grade, but I am seriously lacking on ideas for that right now. So, with last weekend, or the weekend before that, I watched TNA's HardCORE Justice ppv. The main event was scheduled to be Rob Van Dam against Jerry Lynn. But Lynn hurt his back while training so in stepped, the Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal Maniac known the world over, as Sabu. Sabu is a step slower than he used to be and the match was not as face paced as their wars in the past had been. But it still lived up to the memories. Sabu, spring boarding off the top rope into the crowd in pursuit of Van Dam, all the while Bill Alphonso lead the cheers in both directions. Sabu even hit a second rope spring board DDT, and a Super Arabian Face Buster. It was classic in every sense of the word. But in the end it was Sabu missing an Atomic Arabian Skull Crusher, where he went through a table. Van Dam capitalized hitting the Five Star Frog Splash and the match went home. These two men have had "respect" matches, stretcher matches, and World Television Title matches, but there was still gas in their tanks. And that gas was fucking combustible.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Eisner/Miller; A Hardcore Review
Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
This was one of the most astounding pieces of comic book history I have ever had the good fortune to pick up and read. I had heard for years about the friendship and respect these two men held for each other. And I had heard about this amazing book which I just recently happened to find amidst the graphic novel section of Bookmans a month or so ago. I immediately tore into this book, which in itself is not a novelization or prose of any kind. This book is the written form of a series of conversations between comic book legend Will Eisner and renegade comics badboy, Frank Miller. Miller and Eisner have been friends for years. Although at some points during this epic conversation you get the feeling they've known each other for their entire lives, and other points maybe only a few days. However, the entirety of this work, makes for one of the most compelling arguments in favor of the comic book industry as a legitimate form of art. And then again it relates back to some of the most harsh moments of creator treatment in the annals of this great industry. Miller vies for the ideal that comic books are a renegade form of entertainment and calls for the continual pushing of limits. While Eisner asks for the continuation of the art of story telling. Ever the master of his craft, Eisner receives constant praise for his contributions to the world of art as a whole and the comic book industry in specific. The idea that two men who are so diverse in their origins and reasoning, could still hold not only each other, but the industry of comics in such high regard marks for so much in our capacity as people, and for our future as creators.
Will Eisner is a classic story teller with some of the greatest attributes of any creative team. Eisner wrote AND drew almost every project he ever worked on, including until his death in January 2005. His last piece of published work was in an issue of Michael Chabon's The Escapist, where the title character runs into Will's legendary creation, The Spirit. His, works of The New York Trilogy and A Contract With God, gave light to the creation of the graphic novel, a new form of outlet for the comic industry. Eisner has never been a fan of the costumed superhero, although The Spirit might say otherwise. Will was a child of the 1930's Great Depression. Story telling took precedence over the "art" of pop and flash. Eisner created the Spirit, adding gloves and a domino mask to fit with the new look of newspaper comic strips were turning into during this era. The character endured even though Will took several hiatus' to work for the Army to draw instructional manuals for the troops and new equipment. But his love brought him back to the 4 color art that he held dear.
Miller brought himself into the industry during the troubling 70's when getting into the business was looked at as an achievement. He began working on Daredevil and brought the character to new heights, by returning him to his human roots, and reviving some third tier Spider-Man characters and making them a menacing lot for the "Man Without Fear." Miller has long expressed a disdain for the costumed do gooder and has always harkened back to the idea of the pulps from the 30's and 40's. His seminal works in his Sin City line is brazzenly his most vicious and also his best (with respect to The Dark Knight Returns). Although, most arguably his most famous work amongst comic book readers is The Dark Knight Returns, which rose from his loathing of the idea that he continued to age, while Bruce Wayne and Batman remained the same age. He, along with Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' Watchmen brought the idea that comics were most definitely NOT just for children and have enjoyed the toying idea of bringing his vision of the Dark Knight to the silver screen.
These two legends of the field show great hope for the future as both regularly attended the SPX (Small Press Expo) in Maryland until Eisner's passing, to see the next crop of potential superstars and their personal passion and creations.
If something as simple as two friends sharing an intimate conversation about their life's work, in the most respectful tones possible, and comic books are an area of interest, then THIS IS the book for you. Eisner/Miller is a deep look at two men, from very different eras of an industry that is both great and very unforgiving. I leave you with this thought. Jack Kirby has long been called, "the king." Well, if Kirby is the king, then Eisner would be God, right?
This book rates one of the most amazing displays of athleticism and shear hardcore hatred and bravado I have ever seen. In 1996 a feud escalated between two men in ECW. One, the fan favorite who already spilled blood on several continents, Sabu, and the brash, egocentric heel, Rob Van Dam. The two had battled several times, with Sabu even extending his hand in a show of respect to the young Van Dam. The boss saw no way to settle this, other than with a match destined to become a classic, "the respect match." The loser having to publicly acknowledge his respect for the winner. Van Dam and Sabu battled back and forth for twenty minutes or more, with Van Dam securing the win with an Super Fisherman's Buster, a fisherman's suplex modified into a brainbuster from the top rope. Sabu was legitimately injured during the match, to which he was brought back to the ring by Paul Heyman so that he could fulfill his contractual obligations as per losing. Sabu, in a feat never repeated during his stay in ECW, spoke on the mic, uttering the single word, "respect" and extended his hand to Van Dam. For a second it appeared that Van Dam would finally shake Sabu's hand. But in his now famous attitude which is his trademark, Van Dam rescinded his hand and said, "Not only do I not respect you. I think you're piece of shit!" This launched the epic feud into the heated annals of ECW history.
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
This was one of the most astounding pieces of comic book history I have ever had the good fortune to pick up and read. I had heard for years about the friendship and respect these two men held for each other. And I had heard about this amazing book which I just recently happened to find amidst the graphic novel section of Bookmans a month or so ago. I immediately tore into this book, which in itself is not a novelization or prose of any kind. This book is the written form of a series of conversations between comic book legend Will Eisner and renegade comics badboy, Frank Miller. Miller and Eisner have been friends for years. Although at some points during this epic conversation you get the feeling they've known each other for their entire lives, and other points maybe only a few days. However, the entirety of this work, makes for one of the most compelling arguments in favor of the comic book industry as a legitimate form of art. And then again it relates back to some of the most harsh moments of creator treatment in the annals of this great industry. Miller vies for the ideal that comic books are a renegade form of entertainment and calls for the continual pushing of limits. While Eisner asks for the continuation of the art of story telling. Ever the master of his craft, Eisner receives constant praise for his contributions to the world of art as a whole and the comic book industry in specific. The idea that two men who are so diverse in their origins and reasoning, could still hold not only each other, but the industry of comics in such high regard marks for so much in our capacity as people, and for our future as creators.
Will Eisner is a classic story teller with some of the greatest attributes of any creative team. Eisner wrote AND drew almost every project he ever worked on, including until his death in January 2005. His last piece of published work was in an issue of Michael Chabon's The Escapist, where the title character runs into Will's legendary creation, The Spirit. His, works of The New York Trilogy and A Contract With God, gave light to the creation of the graphic novel, a new form of outlet for the comic industry. Eisner has never been a fan of the costumed superhero, although The Spirit might say otherwise. Will was a child of the 1930's Great Depression. Story telling took precedence over the "art" of pop and flash. Eisner created the Spirit, adding gloves and a domino mask to fit with the new look of newspaper comic strips were turning into during this era. The character endured even though Will took several hiatus' to work for the Army to draw instructional manuals for the troops and new equipment. But his love brought him back to the 4 color art that he held dear.
Miller brought himself into the industry during the troubling 70's when getting into the business was looked at as an achievement. He began working on Daredevil and brought the character to new heights, by returning him to his human roots, and reviving some third tier Spider-Man characters and making them a menacing lot for the "Man Without Fear." Miller has long expressed a disdain for the costumed do gooder and has always harkened back to the idea of the pulps from the 30's and 40's. His seminal works in his Sin City line is brazzenly his most vicious and also his best (with respect to The Dark Knight Returns). Although, most arguably his most famous work amongst comic book readers is The Dark Knight Returns, which rose from his loathing of the idea that he continued to age, while Bruce Wayne and Batman remained the same age. He, along with Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' Watchmen brought the idea that comics were most definitely NOT just for children and have enjoyed the toying idea of bringing his vision of the Dark Knight to the silver screen.
These two legends of the field show great hope for the future as both regularly attended the SPX (Small Press Expo) in Maryland until Eisner's passing, to see the next crop of potential superstars and their personal passion and creations.
If something as simple as two friends sharing an intimate conversation about their life's work, in the most respectful tones possible, and comic books are an area of interest, then THIS IS the book for you. Eisner/Miller is a deep look at two men, from very different eras of an industry that is both great and very unforgiving. I leave you with this thought. Jack Kirby has long been called, "the king." Well, if Kirby is the king, then Eisner would be God, right?
This book rates one of the most amazing displays of athleticism and shear hardcore hatred and bravado I have ever seen. In 1996 a feud escalated between two men in ECW. One, the fan favorite who already spilled blood on several continents, Sabu, and the brash, egocentric heel, Rob Van Dam. The two had battled several times, with Sabu even extending his hand in a show of respect to the young Van Dam. The boss saw no way to settle this, other than with a match destined to become a classic, "the respect match." The loser having to publicly acknowledge his respect for the winner. Van Dam and Sabu battled back and forth for twenty minutes or more, with Van Dam securing the win with an Super Fisherman's Buster, a fisherman's suplex modified into a brainbuster from the top rope. Sabu was legitimately injured during the match, to which he was brought back to the ring by Paul Heyman so that he could fulfill his contractual obligations as per losing. Sabu, in a feat never repeated during his stay in ECW, spoke on the mic, uttering the single word, "respect" and extended his hand to Van Dam. For a second it appeared that Van Dam would finally shake Sabu's hand. But in his now famous attitude which is his trademark, Van Dam rescinded his hand and said, "Not only do I not respect you. I think you're piece of shit!" This launched the epic feud into the heated annals of ECW history.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Superman/Batman: Public Enemies; A Hardcore Review
First off this is NOT a review of the comic book story arc by Ed McGuinness and JEph Loeb. This is a review of the animated featured BASED on that story arc. The first six issues of the now in its 70's Superman/Batman modern take on World's Finest.
The band is back together again. They got Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly and Clancy Brown all back for this amazing feature about Lex Luthor becoming president and launching a very public, very unconstitutional vendetta against the Man of Steel. And as his best friend and Yin to his Yang, Batman is along for the ride. CCH Pounder also reprises her voice role as Amanda Waller. Added to the vocal cast was Allison Mack (Chloe on Smallville) as Powergirl, LeVar Burton (tv's Reading Rainbow and Star Trek TNG) as Black Lightning and John C. McGinley as Metallo. Superb voice work in a lot of respects. Kevin Conroy IS Batman and what most of us think of when we think of Batman. And Tim Daly plays a calm to Conroy's flaming malice. Vocally at least.
I have to say I was seriously pleased with the artwork and character design in this movie. They did a quality job holding onto the style of Ed McGuinness. And yes, before you ask Powergirl's biggest and best features are clear and present. And they are also referenced during the scene with Toyman. Mack's voicing of Powegirl is a very good addition to the pack. Hey I'm a Powergirl fan. But I think a deeper, smokier and throatier voice might have been more appropriate. I may be seeping into my dirtier mind for this, but Powergirl always struck me as more of a "Cougar" to the goody goody ideas of super heroes. But Allison Mack give's Kara a more subdued and down to Earth quality. The girl next door with the really big tits that you think about at night when you're trying to go to sleep. Hey, it's a fucking "hardcore review," not some pussy as Ebert and Roper piece of shit sweetly worded and packaged for the retarded masses.
The whole sequence of events with Batman coming to Supes' aide in the cemetary while The Man of Steel gets his ass handed to him by Metallo is fucking great. The back and forth banter is right on with how two long time friends would talk. You know if one was a grizzly crime fighter with no powers and the other an alien from a far advance civilization than Earth who was godlike in his daily life. And Metallo's villainy as Luthor's henchman is AWESOME! Steam shovel in hand, literally, as he spanks Superman while stepping all over people's graves. Fuck, how do they get away with this in an animated movie is spectacular and completely badass. And then the classic, "Do us a favor and lose the sense of humor.""Do us a favor and buy one," dialog.... MUAH! Like a fat french chef making some kick mother fucking ass pastries and getting them to you fresh out of the oven.
This whole movie was pure horror show from start to finish. And if you need to understand that last kudos, pick up a copy of Clockwork Orange with the English slang dictionary in the back. So, yeah, not the movie, the book. I enjoyed this movie from start to finish and seeing Superman rip off the Captain Marvel suit to reveal the "S" FUCK YEAH! I got an animated boner from that shit. All the way to Luthor and his totally pimped out Super Powers suit and shooting up the Kryptonite 'roids. Think about it, this was a phenomenal translation from print to screen. It dealt with a lot of shit we see on a daily basis. Someone buying the presidential election, people who are supposed to be our heroes using performance enhancing drugs, and the ever present, American government having little if any credibility. Hey and let's not forget the crash of the economy they added to the beginning of this movie to make it more authentic and able to be related to.
And the best part, I seriously want to say was Powergirl's tits, but alas it was the voice cast. I know I addressed this before, but FUCK IT, it's my review and I'll talk about whatever I want over and over again. Even if I want to mention Powergirl's jugs one more time. Even Bruce Timm and Andrea Romano, the executive producer and voice casting director respectively got in on the fun, as Mongul and Giganta. The little things that were added in for the hardcore fans was very much appreciated and will be watched over and over and over. Especially when PG is first introduced as an enforcer. Seeing her tits appear about three seconds before the rest of her showed up on screen makes me happy every fucking time I see it.
From top to bottom, and all around, Superman/ Batman Public Enemies is a seriously bloody thumb to the eye! And going back to what made this Hardcore Review famous, at least in my own mind, the grade. Now this is a long overdue nod to a man who eats, sleeps, breathes and smokes hardcore. Rob Van Dam making his first title contention on Monday night on Spike TV against AJ Styles theTNA World Heavyweight Champion. One night after pulling double duty at Lock Down, where Rob took out James Storm and then helped Team Hogan (barf) take out Team Flair (Wooooo!), a busted up Rob, complete with Sharpied on "TNA" made his intentions and still amazing in ring abilities know to the world. It was a double double for us wrestling fans, as we saw RVD fight it out with Jeff Hardy for the title shot later on in the main event. And then He did it. Capturing the belt in a show of athleticism and original RVD style. The "Whole Fuckin' Show" reigned supreme and finished off the champ by getting higher than any man has ever gotten in a wrestling ring before or since, five star frog splash bitches! Uno dos tres!
The band is back together again. They got Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly and Clancy Brown all back for this amazing feature about Lex Luthor becoming president and launching a very public, very unconstitutional vendetta against the Man of Steel. And as his best friend and Yin to his Yang, Batman is along for the ride. CCH Pounder also reprises her voice role as Amanda Waller. Added to the vocal cast was Allison Mack (Chloe on Smallville) as Powergirl, LeVar Burton (tv's Reading Rainbow and Star Trek TNG) as Black Lightning and John C. McGinley as Metallo. Superb voice work in a lot of respects. Kevin Conroy IS Batman and what most of us think of when we think of Batman. And Tim Daly plays a calm to Conroy's flaming malice. Vocally at least.
I have to say I was seriously pleased with the artwork and character design in this movie. They did a quality job holding onto the style of Ed McGuinness. And yes, before you ask Powergirl's biggest and best features are clear and present. And they are also referenced during the scene with Toyman. Mack's voicing of Powegirl is a very good addition to the pack. Hey I'm a Powergirl fan. But I think a deeper, smokier and throatier voice might have been more appropriate. I may be seeping into my dirtier mind for this, but Powergirl always struck me as more of a "Cougar" to the goody goody ideas of super heroes. But Allison Mack give's Kara a more subdued and down to Earth quality. The girl next door with the really big tits that you think about at night when you're trying to go to sleep. Hey, it's a fucking "hardcore review," not some pussy as Ebert and Roper piece of shit sweetly worded and packaged for the retarded masses.
The whole sequence of events with Batman coming to Supes' aide in the cemetary while The Man of Steel gets his ass handed to him by Metallo is fucking great. The back and forth banter is right on with how two long time friends would talk. You know if one was a grizzly crime fighter with no powers and the other an alien from a far advance civilization than Earth who was godlike in his daily life. And Metallo's villainy as Luthor's henchman is AWESOME! Steam shovel in hand, literally, as he spanks Superman while stepping all over people's graves. Fuck, how do they get away with this in an animated movie is spectacular and completely badass. And then the classic, "Do us a favor and lose the sense of humor.""Do us a favor and buy one," dialog.... MUAH! Like a fat french chef making some kick mother fucking ass pastries and getting them to you fresh out of the oven.
This whole movie was pure horror show from start to finish. And if you need to understand that last kudos, pick up a copy of Clockwork Orange with the English slang dictionary in the back. So, yeah, not the movie, the book. I enjoyed this movie from start to finish and seeing Superman rip off the Captain Marvel suit to reveal the "S" FUCK YEAH! I got an animated boner from that shit. All the way to Luthor and his totally pimped out Super Powers suit and shooting up the Kryptonite 'roids. Think about it, this was a phenomenal translation from print to screen. It dealt with a lot of shit we see on a daily basis. Someone buying the presidential election, people who are supposed to be our heroes using performance enhancing drugs, and the ever present, American government having little if any credibility. Hey and let's not forget the crash of the economy they added to the beginning of this movie to make it more authentic and able to be related to.
And the best part, I seriously want to say was Powergirl's tits, but alas it was the voice cast. I know I addressed this before, but FUCK IT, it's my review and I'll talk about whatever I want over and over again. Even if I want to mention Powergirl's jugs one more time. Even Bruce Timm and Andrea Romano, the executive producer and voice casting director respectively got in on the fun, as Mongul and Giganta. The little things that were added in for the hardcore fans was very much appreciated and will be watched over and over and over. Especially when PG is first introduced as an enforcer. Seeing her tits appear about three seconds before the rest of her showed up on screen makes me happy every fucking time I see it.
From top to bottom, and all around, Superman/ Batman Public Enemies is a seriously bloody thumb to the eye! And going back to what made this Hardcore Review famous, at least in my own mind, the grade. Now this is a long overdue nod to a man who eats, sleeps, breathes and smokes hardcore. Rob Van Dam making his first title contention on Monday night on Spike TV against AJ Styles theTNA World Heavyweight Champion. One night after pulling double duty at Lock Down, where Rob took out James Storm and then helped Team Hogan (barf) take out Team Flair (Wooooo!), a busted up Rob, complete with Sharpied on "TNA" made his intentions and still amazing in ring abilities know to the world. It was a double double for us wrestling fans, as we saw RVD fight it out with Jeff Hardy for the title shot later on in the main event. And then He did it. Capturing the belt in a show of athleticism and original RVD style. The "Whole Fuckin' Show" reigned supreme and finished off the champ by getting higher than any man has ever gotten in a wrestling ring before or since, five star frog splash bitches! Uno dos tres!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
