Darkman; A Hardcore Review

SO Sam Raimi took his first STAB at superherodom in Darkman. A story about a scientist who happens to be working on artificial skin for burn victims who gets blown up really nicely in a huge real estate racketeering scheme headed by the guy who played the retarded guy on LA Law. Not a bad setup for a movie, unless you were planning on casting a future Oscar winner in a leading roll in Frances McDomand who won Best Actress for Fargo, and future Golden Globe and Oscar nominee for best actor in Liam Neeson in the title roll of Dr. Peyton Westlake. And yes I know the film is not called, Dr. Peyton Westlake, but her calls himself Darkman at the very end of the film when he dons the visage of perennial B Movie Scream King, and the man known as the "Human Chin" in Bruce Campbell.
Sam Raimi's retarded younger brother, who is only famous cause Sam refuses to do a movie unless Ted Raimi can somehow be involved, is also in it. And yes, he played Joxer in Xena, which makes me want to commit Hari Kari for even knowing that shit, much less so because I actually used to watch it. He gets killed by old Peyton first, in what has to be the award winner for best kill scene of the flick.
Take into account that pre Spider-Man, Sam Raimi worked on a plethora of motion pictures which had the budget of what I get paid annually. Then couple that with the fact that I watched this on HD DVD, and fuck you I have a Super Blu so I can watch both HD DVDs and Blurays. This has to be one of the worst movies ever put in HD. And that is purely based on the severely retarded amount of compositing that is done. And shitily at that. Things just don't seem to work out real well for our blown up and severely burned anti-hero. His love life is nonexistent due to the fact that his girlfriend, McDormand, thinks he is dead. And add to that the stress of being revenge driven and bat shit crazy as a Polyester shirt on a hot hot Summer day.
Poor Peyton can't catch a fucking break. Not when he somehow takes his girlfriend to the local carnival and runs afoul of a carnie who's fingers he destroys after knocking over milk bottles at his booth. And by somehow, I mean, this guys synthetic skin only lasts for 99 minutes in the light. SO how the fuck do you take someone out the carnival in only an hour and thirty-nine minutes? I don't know how you do that, or have a long meaningful conversation over coffee or lunch in only an hour and thirty-nine minutes. But hey, it's a movie, and one more it's a Sam Raimi movie. While MST3King our way through the flick it was thought that this was Raimi's first bigger budget movie. I think I agree with that assessment, but it still held his trademark cheesey directorial attributes. The head through cabinet glass, the moments of constant hilarity, and the uber bad compositing jobs. All in all, Sam Raimi's Darkman holds a special place in my movie viewing experience.
The hardcore wrestling moment I equate this cinematic classic with is somewhat unorthadox in scope. Not in a Rob Van Dam high flying and kick fest, but more like a car accident that you like to watch over and over again. Check out ECW One Night Stand 2006, right before the main event when RVD battles John Cena for the WWE title. The music hits and out comes Eugene? WTF? This guy isn't hardcore. I mean the concept Vince had for this character was downright offensive to me, as someone who works with adults with DD. But they ended the reign of Eugene by bringing out the Sandman who caned the shit out of Eugene, even chasing him back to the dressing room, while beating him with his Kendo Stick.