Ever want to see Shannon Elizabeth get raped to death by a homicidal mutant snowman and his carrot penis? Cause that's what you'll get with this "high" quality movie. I say "high" cause it's probably ten times better when you're high. Michael Keaton play a loser saxaphonist who goes insane and kills people.... wait, that's the "other" Jack Frost? Jesus how many of these captastic flicks is gonna get made?
A serial killer some how gets in a car accident on his way to execution and gets splashed with some fucking chemical (not unlike Daredevil) and turns into a mutant frosty. He heads up his remaining time by heading to the nearby backwoods town where he was captured by a bumbling sheriff who is then threatened with death no matter the fires of hell Jack Frost (the killer's name) must go through. Man, I thought I was gonna enjoy this movie. Cause it's a stupid, crappy horror movie and I enjoy shit like that. I've seen it two or three times now and it gets better and better every time I watch it. Wait did I say "better and better?" I meant "ho hum and duh." This movie couldn't fill a latrine. Wow. I think I found something to bitch about. Something I also enjoy.
Well death by homicidal snowman cock is better than death by.... well I'm sure there's something out there worse to die by.
In my old grading scale this rates J.T. Smith falling from the top rope and cracking his head on the cold, hard unfogiving concrete floor of the ECW Arena. Wait for it..... only to be showered with chants of, "You fucked up!" from the every growing throng of unwashed masses. And I say that with the utmost love. The ECW fans may have been bloodthirsty and filthy, but they were the most knowledgable and loyal fans in the business.
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