Today I review Ocho, originally called Three Blind Mice, a comic created by Eric Mengel of the greater Phoenix area of Arizona. The basis of the book is three odd friends, Ocho (a giant blue man from the planet Crountoor), Pitbull (a nose picking goofball with aspirations of being famous) and Petey (a chain smoking cigar chomping teddy bear with a penchant for the absurd).
The first volume begins with the motley trio meandering around Mill Avenue in Tempe. Petey and Pitbull had just been put in the news paper for saving a stripper who was choking on a chicken wing. The stripper gave them each a thousand bucks for the save. However given the events later in the book, it's very likely that it was actually Ocho who saved the woman. As Ocho foils a bank robbery, but wanting his anonymity, Ocho tells Pitbull to wait for the cops. And Pitbull and Petey become "the heroes of Tempe."
Things continue to go awry, as they meet with their friend Eric, who is working on comics inside Coffee Plantation, also on Mill Avenue. Ocho tells Eric he needs a job and is trying to convince his buds to also contribute. Eric helps him by recommending Palapa, a bar around the way. Ocho becomes a bouncer at Palapa.
I honestly didn't know if I was gonna like this story at first. I began reading it at Amazing Arizona Con between customers and lookie loos. There was far more down time than I would have liked. But that's con life. Sometimes you're Stan Lee and sometimes you're how Rob Liefeld should be, lonely and broke!
But I read the stories mainly while working my overnight shift at the group home I work at. Which is seriously coincidental, cause creator Eric Mengel works at a group home. So I feel a serious connection with him. And that's not the only reason. We're both small, or micro if you will, press comic book creators. And, I seriously hope he doesn't mind me saying this, his mother is sadly dying from cancer. I was diagnosed with bone cancer, just over ten years ago.
Ocho is a phenomenal book. I honestly have to say I'm less of a fan of the story line involving his home planet of Crountoor, and more a fan of the slice of life aspect involving Ocho trying to live a semi normal life, and Pitbull and Petey just wankering around. It has a great story. And a lot of backing by some pretty cool people in the local community.
Eric,has been doing comics since 1995. In fact the last issue in the second trade paperback is from 1995. Mengel has a good head on his shoulders and the ability to keep cranking out Ocho. He's got a following, support and the will power to keep going. Ocho is a seriously funny fucking book. A book you should read, if you like slice of life, and the bizarre. He's up to the teens in issues, and has done some pinup work for other local artists and their collected editions. In the future, I would not only continue reading Ocho, but volunteer to do a pinup or two for Eric and his work. Especially if I got to draw the stripper who choked on the chicken wing.
As you may or may not know (if you don't read my reviews you FUCKING should), I grade everything I review on a hardcore moment in professional wrestling history. The more hardcore the moment, wrestler or event, the more I liked the book. As if you couldn't already tell by reading the fucking review. But every reviewer has their system of grading. Some of the more unoriginal bastards or bitches in this game use stars, thumbs up or down, or a fucking letter grade. But nothing rings truer than a moment that already burns in time. So here goes... in the early days of ECW, there was a rivalry. And a match. Sandman, the beer guzzling, chain smoking, cane swinging, pain inducing freak of nature versus the then pretty boy, baby face, who would eventually become "The Innovator of Violence," Tommy Dreamer. The match itself may or may not have been something to write home about. But the matches stipulation sure as fuck was. The match was a "Singapore Cane" match. The loser... would receive a violent caning to the back. Dreamer lost. And a caning he got. All he had to do was kiss Woman's (the Sandman's manager) feet. But he refused after every cane shot. With his back bleeding and bruised, fans pleading with Tommy to stay down, Dreamer stood face to face with the Sandman and said, "That's all you got? I took your best shots and I'm still standing here." Truly a defining moment in the history, not just of ECW, but of hardcore wrestling.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
The Runaways; A Hardcore Review
Essentially this wasn't so much the story of the all girl rock band, The Runaways, so much as it was the story of Joan Jett and Cherie Curie.
While the look of the film was no doubt "spot on," I couldn't stand this movie. Kristen "Twilight" Stewart had NO FUCKING BUSINESS playing Joan Jett. Just cause she's in fucking vogue right now doesn't mean she was the right person to play Joan. And yeah, she looks a little like Jett in the 70's, but to me that AIN'T fucking good enough. The shitty thing, to me, is that she did a good job portraying the first lady of Punk Rock. Kristen Stewart, whether I like it or not is at the very least a decent actress, if not, a really good actress. This role has broken her out of the mold of being Bella, the wishy washy girl from the Twilight saga. And moving out of your comfort zone as an artist is essential for staying fresh and being the best that you can be.
Dakota Fanning plays Cherie Curie, the lead singer of The Runaways. With their meteoric rise to stardom, Curie becomes a drug addict and alcoholic. Fanning, has become a sparkling actress since her debut in "I Am Sam," playing opposite the very retarded Sean Penn.
Alia Shawkat, Pash from Whip It was in this movie, playing Robin. While Rob Zombie's Halloween Laurie Strode, Scout Taylor-Compton played Lita "Kiss Me Deadly" Ford. But the whole movie was spotlighting Joan Jett and her sometimes androgynous relationship with Cherie Curie.
After their Japanese tour, Curie lost it. Began heavily using, and according to the movie, became a Prima donna. While I am a big Joan Jett fan, I don't claim to know shit about the Runaways. God I so wanted to hate this movie. I really really wanted to. But I couldn't. There's little harder to do in this world than admit you were wrong. Not knowing a lot about the group that made acts like P!NK, Kittie, L7 and Bikini Kill possible should make me a fucking historian. But sometimes the best thing isn't to know all the details, but to just appreciate the music and everything it's done.
This flick was interesting to watch. Gave some much needed background on a truly groundbreaking group. And to my shock and awe had some really tremendous acting from someone I didn't think deserved the part, simply cause I felt she was a "flash in the pan" type star. But I have to say, with all sincerity, that The Runaways was a great flick. And thus brings to mind a truly great moment involving, at the time, two of the top workers in wrestling, Triple H and Mick Foley. After Triple H and Stephanie McMahon got "married" they made Mick Foley's life a living hell, including firing him. Upon an announced locker room wide walkout staged by The Rock, Triple H and Steph were forced to reinstate Foley. The Rock also dictated that there would be a tag team main event featuring Degeneration X versus The Rock, The APA and Mick Foley. The end of the match saw The Rock and Farooq and Bradshaw take out The New Age Outlaws and X Pac. Leaving the champ, Triple H and Mick Foley alone, battling it out for bloody supremacy of the ring. In the end, Hunter delivered a "Pedigree" to Foley, putting him through the announce table. As Triple H walked up the ramp, Mick, who's Mankind mask was ripped off during the fight, was bloodied and staring wild eyed at the retreating champion. The moment came the next night, or "officially" on Thursday night Smackdown, when in the ring celebrating his utter defeat of Foley, Triple H declared victory in their war. But out came Mick, in his Mankind outfit from Monday, bloody shirt included. Mick said, after the beating he took a few days before, he wasn't ready to take on the young champion at that Sunday's Royal Rumble pay per view. As he began taking off his mash and tie, he stated, "I'm in no condition to fight you on Sunday..... (Triple H smiles) but I know someone who is.... and I think you know him real well." Tearing open his shirt, he reveals his famous, "Wanted: DEAD" Cactus Jack t-shirt. BANG BANG!
While the look of the film was no doubt "spot on," I couldn't stand this movie. Kristen "Twilight" Stewart had NO FUCKING BUSINESS playing Joan Jett. Just cause she's in fucking vogue right now doesn't mean she was the right person to play Joan. And yeah, she looks a little like Jett in the 70's, but to me that AIN'T fucking good enough. The shitty thing, to me, is that she did a good job portraying the first lady of Punk Rock. Kristen Stewart, whether I like it or not is at the very least a decent actress, if not, a really good actress. This role has broken her out of the mold of being Bella, the wishy washy girl from the Twilight saga. And moving out of your comfort zone as an artist is essential for staying fresh and being the best that you can be.
Dakota Fanning plays Cherie Curie, the lead singer of The Runaways. With their meteoric rise to stardom, Curie becomes a drug addict and alcoholic. Fanning, has become a sparkling actress since her debut in "I Am Sam," playing opposite the very retarded Sean Penn.
Alia Shawkat, Pash from Whip It was in this movie, playing Robin. While Rob Zombie's Halloween Laurie Strode, Scout Taylor-Compton played Lita "Kiss Me Deadly" Ford. But the whole movie was spotlighting Joan Jett and her sometimes androgynous relationship with Cherie Curie.
After their Japanese tour, Curie lost it. Began heavily using, and according to the movie, became a Prima donna. While I am a big Joan Jett fan, I don't claim to know shit about the Runaways. God I so wanted to hate this movie. I really really wanted to. But I couldn't. There's little harder to do in this world than admit you were wrong. Not knowing a lot about the group that made acts like P!NK, Kittie, L7 and Bikini Kill possible should make me a fucking historian. But sometimes the best thing isn't to know all the details, but to just appreciate the music and everything it's done.
This flick was interesting to watch. Gave some much needed background on a truly groundbreaking group. And to my shock and awe had some really tremendous acting from someone I didn't think deserved the part, simply cause I felt she was a "flash in the pan" type star. But I have to say, with all sincerity, that The Runaways was a great flick. And thus brings to mind a truly great moment involving, at the time, two of the top workers in wrestling, Triple H and Mick Foley. After Triple H and Stephanie McMahon got "married" they made Mick Foley's life a living hell, including firing him. Upon an announced locker room wide walkout staged by The Rock, Triple H and Steph were forced to reinstate Foley. The Rock also dictated that there would be a tag team main event featuring Degeneration X versus The Rock, The APA and Mick Foley. The end of the match saw The Rock and Farooq and Bradshaw take out The New Age Outlaws and X Pac. Leaving the champ, Triple H and Mick Foley alone, battling it out for bloody supremacy of the ring. In the end, Hunter delivered a "Pedigree" to Foley, putting him through the announce table. As Triple H walked up the ramp, Mick, who's Mankind mask was ripped off during the fight, was bloodied and staring wild eyed at the retreating champion. The moment came the next night, or "officially" on Thursday night Smackdown, when in the ring celebrating his utter defeat of Foley, Triple H declared victory in their war. But out came Mick, in his Mankind outfit from Monday, bloody shirt included. Mick said, after the beating he took a few days before, he wasn't ready to take on the young champion at that Sunday's Royal Rumble pay per view. As he began taking off his mash and tie, he stated, "I'm in no condition to fight you on Sunday..... (Triple H smiles) but I know someone who is.... and I think you know him real well." Tearing open his shirt, he reveals his famous, "Wanted: DEAD" Cactus Jack t-shirt. BANG BANG!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wet Moon vol. 1-5; A Hardcore Review
I already reviewed volume on of Ross Campbell's Wet Moon series, but I'm gonna review all five volumes of it right here and now. For those of you who do not know, Wet Moon is THEE slice of life comic. And if you're not reading it you are either broke or a fucking idiot. Or maybe you just read super hero books. And if you're broke, go out and rob someone, but don't steal the book, cause Ross is a small press guy. He doesn't work with a contract, he hasn't sold the rights to his work for a movie or tv show. And if you just read super hero comics, put down a book you're unsatisfied with and pick this up. And if you're just a fucking idiot, sorry, but there's really nothing I can recommend to fix that. But maybe reading Wet Moon might help. IT SURE AS FUCK WON'T HURT! This series was recommended to my by my dealer, Charlie Harris, of Charlies Comics in Tucson, Arizona. And unlike a lot of comic shop owners, Charlie reads every new comic that comes into his shop. So he knows all the storylines, hot characters and even what's most appropriate for readers of any age, or pertaining to their tastes.
Wet Moon stars a plethora of amazing characters including Cleo, Trilby, Penny, Mara, Audrey, Fern and Maladay. It takes place in Wet Moon, Florida on the campus of a university. The story entails the lives of these characters and more, and their everyday lives, which rarely involve anything inside a classroom or doing any semblance of homework. Nope, it mostly involves relationships. And at the pinnacle of that, mostly lesbian relationships. I dunno, possible that Campbell has a fetish for the lesbians. Maybe he's trying to make a statement. Or maybe, much like fat man of slackerdom, Kevin Smith, Ross may have a family member that he's secretly outing by fervently referencing homosexuality. Maybe...
In light of all that, Wet Moon is fucking amazing. I keep telling people about it. And some people pull the whole, "I only read action comics." And maybe this will never get past the thick skull you got, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying. Fuck, I'll sing the praises of Wet Moon until Ross Campbell till I'm blue in the face and he sends me a half dozen restraining orders and some free art to shut me up cause, as he'll put it, "it's not helping."
This book has everything. But my favorite character is by far Trilby Bernarde. She's the balance to this whole thing. Cleo's usually down in the dumps about whether she should stay with Myrtle, who's actually a butcher knife wielding psychopath or hook up with one of her long time friends, whom she kissed while sharing a hotel room with Trilby and Glen when they went to a comic book convention where Trilby made Cleo cosplay as Lillith from Darkstalkers while she went as Felicia. My comic book crush Becky "Demo" Cloonan even has a cameo in volume 4.
And Ross, with respect to Justice League's Kevin Maguire, does the best facial expressions in the business. It is how I aim to focus my artwork. I am working on over exaggeration of my characters. Not just of their facial expressions, but of their posture, movement and bodies as a whole. It's one of the first things they teach you when you decide you want to be an animator. Just take a look at everything Pixar does, or Anime, it's all there. And if you're an aspiring comic book creator, who isn't bent on realism where a lot of this is lost, study Ross Campbell and Kevin Maguire.
Campbell has done other works, including Water Baby from the Minx imprint from DC a few years back and Shadoweyes from Slave Labor Graphics. But I gotta think that Wet Moon is Ross' baby. I carted my copy of volume three to Comic Con International this past summer to have Ross sign it, and got to talk to him a little bit about things. He told me that he is shooting for ten volumes of Wet Moon. So we have a few years yet of the daily ins and outs of these amazing characters.
There are some great storylines going on in the pages of Wet Moon. Including Myrtle's homicidal tendencies and who she'll go after next; the mystery of the "Cleo Eats It" signs posted around campus; the Worm Lizards' season, who is "Unknown?", Fern and her obsession with Penny Lovedrop; Penny's bastard pregnancy; Cleo and who is she gonna choose; Maladay's obsession with collecting and then showing Cleo all of the signs posted around campus; and many many more.
Wet Moon would make an awesome live action television show, or a phenomenal animated series. Each volume could be collected in a season.
Wet Moon is the best thing to happen to graphic novels in recent memory. As painful as it is waiting for the next volume to be finished, I think it's better than getting one issue and then having to wait a month or more for my next bump. I don't think that some people realize how addicting comics are to some people. When I pick up Wet Moon I could easily jam through the whole thing in one sitting, but that might cheapen the experience. "She is like a fine aged whore, who laughs at you when you take your clothes off. But you keep going back, because she is the only prostitute you can afford."
Wet Moon is one of the top reads every time it comes out. I am super glad I got past the idea of only reading so called "super hero" books. Cause honestly, lately there's been not a whole lot of super going on in my opinion. And far too many titles that don't belong on a shelf taking up space when something like Wet Moon is usually, if carried by said shop, put on a trade paperback shelf where it is much harder to locate. But go to your local shop and ask them for it. And if they no have it, knock all the "big two" off the new comic rack and start singing Green Day's "Basket Case" at the top of your lungs while running out the door.
You want a grade for this? You seriously want a grade for this book? Well, I just quit smoking, and I'm no where close to alcohol of any kind so here you fucking go. Mother's Day 2000. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The Rave. Extreme Championship Wrestling's pay per view called Hardcore Heaven. The match, almost six months in the making. Yoshihiro Tajiri, "The Japanese Buzzsaw." The man you better not be a midget around, cause he'll kick your fucking head off Tajiri. Yeah, that Tajiri. And his opponent, "The King of Old School" Steve Corino. Corino was pissed cause Tajiri had won the vacated World Television Title. And afterward, he was forced to hand the belt over to "the Network's" chosen successor, Rhino. And when "the Network" screwed Tajiri, he got pissed, and started kicking everything in his path. And that included the bleached blond heel, Corino. This culminated in a battle that included a "four alarm" blade job by Corino that stained his nearly white locks crimson. It was fucking amazing. The only gripe I have about this match is the finish. Which somehow got edited from the table being set up to the pinfall under the busted remnants of said table. Happy Mother's Day Ma'!
Wet Moon stars a plethora of amazing characters including Cleo, Trilby, Penny, Mara, Audrey, Fern and Maladay. It takes place in Wet Moon, Florida on the campus of a university. The story entails the lives of these characters and more, and their everyday lives, which rarely involve anything inside a classroom or doing any semblance of homework. Nope, it mostly involves relationships. And at the pinnacle of that, mostly lesbian relationships. I dunno, possible that Campbell has a fetish for the lesbians. Maybe he's trying to make a statement. Or maybe, much like fat man of slackerdom, Kevin Smith, Ross may have a family member that he's secretly outing by fervently referencing homosexuality. Maybe...
In light of all that, Wet Moon is fucking amazing. I keep telling people about it. And some people pull the whole, "I only read action comics." And maybe this will never get past the thick skull you got, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying. Fuck, I'll sing the praises of Wet Moon until Ross Campbell till I'm blue in the face and he sends me a half dozen restraining orders and some free art to shut me up cause, as he'll put it, "it's not helping."
This book has everything. But my favorite character is by far Trilby Bernarde. She's the balance to this whole thing. Cleo's usually down in the dumps about whether she should stay with Myrtle, who's actually a butcher knife wielding psychopath or hook up with one of her long time friends, whom she kissed while sharing a hotel room with Trilby and Glen when they went to a comic book convention where Trilby made Cleo cosplay as Lillith from Darkstalkers while she went as Felicia. My comic book crush Becky "Demo" Cloonan even has a cameo in volume 4.
And Ross, with respect to Justice League's Kevin Maguire, does the best facial expressions in the business. It is how I aim to focus my artwork. I am working on over exaggeration of my characters. Not just of their facial expressions, but of their posture, movement and bodies as a whole. It's one of the first things they teach you when you decide you want to be an animator. Just take a look at everything Pixar does, or Anime, it's all there. And if you're an aspiring comic book creator, who isn't bent on realism where a lot of this is lost, study Ross Campbell and Kevin Maguire.
Campbell has done other works, including Water Baby from the Minx imprint from DC a few years back and Shadoweyes from Slave Labor Graphics. But I gotta think that Wet Moon is Ross' baby. I carted my copy of volume three to Comic Con International this past summer to have Ross sign it, and got to talk to him a little bit about things. He told me that he is shooting for ten volumes of Wet Moon. So we have a few years yet of the daily ins and outs of these amazing characters.
There are some great storylines going on in the pages of Wet Moon. Including Myrtle's homicidal tendencies and who she'll go after next; the mystery of the "Cleo Eats It" signs posted around campus; the Worm Lizards' season, who is "Unknown?", Fern and her obsession with Penny Lovedrop; Penny's bastard pregnancy; Cleo and who is she gonna choose; Maladay's obsession with collecting and then showing Cleo all of the signs posted around campus; and many many more.
Wet Moon would make an awesome live action television show, or a phenomenal animated series. Each volume could be collected in a season.
Wet Moon is the best thing to happen to graphic novels in recent memory. As painful as it is waiting for the next volume to be finished, I think it's better than getting one issue and then having to wait a month or more for my next bump. I don't think that some people realize how addicting comics are to some people. When I pick up Wet Moon I could easily jam through the whole thing in one sitting, but that might cheapen the experience. "She is like a fine aged whore, who laughs at you when you take your clothes off. But you keep going back, because she is the only prostitute you can afford."
Wet Moon is one of the top reads every time it comes out. I am super glad I got past the idea of only reading so called "super hero" books. Cause honestly, lately there's been not a whole lot of super going on in my opinion. And far too many titles that don't belong on a shelf taking up space when something like Wet Moon is usually, if carried by said shop, put on a trade paperback shelf where it is much harder to locate. But go to your local shop and ask them for it. And if they no have it, knock all the "big two" off the new comic rack and start singing Green Day's "Basket Case" at the top of your lungs while running out the door.
You want a grade for this? You seriously want a grade for this book? Well, I just quit smoking, and I'm no where close to alcohol of any kind so here you fucking go. Mother's Day 2000. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The Rave. Extreme Championship Wrestling's pay per view called Hardcore Heaven. The match, almost six months in the making. Yoshihiro Tajiri, "The Japanese Buzzsaw." The man you better not be a midget around, cause he'll kick your fucking head off Tajiri. Yeah, that Tajiri. And his opponent, "The King of Old School" Steve Corino. Corino was pissed cause Tajiri had won the vacated World Television Title. And afterward, he was forced to hand the belt over to "the Network's" chosen successor, Rhino. And when "the Network" screwed Tajiri, he got pissed, and started kicking everything in his path. And that included the bleached blond heel, Corino. This culminated in a battle that included a "four alarm" blade job by Corino that stained his nearly white locks crimson. It was fucking amazing. The only gripe I have about this match is the finish. Which somehow got edited from the table being set up to the pinfall under the busted remnants of said table. Happy Mother's Day Ma'!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Lost Boys The Thirst; A Hardcore Review
What's two fifths of the original and gayer than oiled pecs and waxed legs on Fire Island? Why it's Lost Boys The Thirst of course.
Somebody tell me why Corey Feldman isn't a fucking greeter at WalMart right now?
Thank Eisner that Corey Haim had the good sense to OD before this this cluster fuck of an abortion was made. There were only two good things about this movie, the fact that it had flashbacks to the classic original, AND THAT IT ENDED!
Who the fuck says it does any good to follow current piece of shit pop culture? Apparently, whoever the fuck green lit this flaming bag of dog diarrhea. Sometimes people need to learn that they aren't viable commodities anymore and that they should become just another shadow instead of taking up valuable oxygen and natural resources. I mean Feldman's a Vegan, right? But he still finds it ok to knaw at my brain with his 5'4" caveman self. Just kill yourself already. And the worst part of this piece of tofu slathered shit is that they're gonna make another one. I can only hope like you that Feldman drops dead of being a fucking little bastard with no talent and a nine pack a day voice.
Did you know that Joel "Bat nipples" Schumacher directed the original 80's cult classic The Lost Boys. I mean that movie had it all, four teen heart throbs, Alex Winters from Bill and Ted, that guy who ended up on Thirty Something AND Diane Weist. Plus a kick ass soundtrack. This movie had shitty references to Twilight, the rave scene (do people even rave anymore?) and some seriously ghey vampires. I mean gayer than Robert Pattinson. Well, maybe not THAT GAY.
Who the fuck asked for a third Lost Boys flick? I remember wanting to go on a bloody chainsaw rampage in 08 when at Comic Con International they announced Lost Boys The Tribe. This movie was phenomenally bad. I mean Mystery Science Theater 3000 worthy. Give Feldman a Lifetime Douchebag Achievement Razzie for his continued existence. There's not a lot more I can stomach. Except for the distinct possibility that the cast of Twilight, Feldman and Halle Berry will all be on the next voyage of the Titanic.
How do I grade this fucking dirty bomb of a movie? What moment from wrestling history could I possibly bestow upon this movie that would not encourage people to want to waste the braincells I already martyred for them? How about WCW Sin? The first WCW pay per view of 2001 when Sid Vicious decided after some coercion from the higher ups to try a top rope high flying maneuver and... broke his fucking leg. Not just broke it, that fucker was hanging by a thread. In the process Sid knocked out Scott Steiner in their World Heavyweight Title match.
Somebody tell me why Corey Feldman isn't a fucking greeter at WalMart right now?
Thank Eisner that Corey Haim had the good sense to OD before this this cluster fuck of an abortion was made. There were only two good things about this movie, the fact that it had flashbacks to the classic original, AND THAT IT ENDED!
Who the fuck says it does any good to follow current piece of shit pop culture? Apparently, whoever the fuck green lit this flaming bag of dog diarrhea. Sometimes people need to learn that they aren't viable commodities anymore and that they should become just another shadow instead of taking up valuable oxygen and natural resources. I mean Feldman's a Vegan, right? But he still finds it ok to knaw at my brain with his 5'4" caveman self. Just kill yourself already. And the worst part of this piece of tofu slathered shit is that they're gonna make another one. I can only hope like you that Feldman drops dead of being a fucking little bastard with no talent and a nine pack a day voice.
Did you know that Joel "Bat nipples" Schumacher directed the original 80's cult classic The Lost Boys. I mean that movie had it all, four teen heart throbs, Alex Winters from Bill and Ted, that guy who ended up on Thirty Something AND Diane Weist. Plus a kick ass soundtrack. This movie had shitty references to Twilight, the rave scene (do people even rave anymore?) and some seriously ghey vampires. I mean gayer than Robert Pattinson. Well, maybe not THAT GAY.
Who the fuck asked for a third Lost Boys flick? I remember wanting to go on a bloody chainsaw rampage in 08 when at Comic Con International they announced Lost Boys The Tribe. This movie was phenomenally bad. I mean Mystery Science Theater 3000 worthy. Give Feldman a Lifetime Douchebag Achievement Razzie for his continued existence. There's not a lot more I can stomach. Except for the distinct possibility that the cast of Twilight, Feldman and Halle Berry will all be on the next voyage of the Titanic.
How do I grade this fucking dirty bomb of a movie? What moment from wrestling history could I possibly bestow upon this movie that would not encourage people to want to waste the braincells I already martyred for them? How about WCW Sin? The first WCW pay per view of 2001 when Sid Vicious decided after some coercion from the higher ups to try a top rope high flying maneuver and... broke his fucking leg. Not just broke it, that fucker was hanging by a thread. In the process Sid knocked out Scott Steiner in their World Heavyweight Title match.
Fuzzyface Worldwide
The Muppets meet Texas Chainsaw Massacre? with the most lovable homicidal protagonist of all time in "the world's greatest sidekick" Agnew Pennyworth, in his starring role as, Fuzzyface. Equal parts of Jim Henson's family favorite Muppets and Tobe Hooper's Texas Chainsaw Massacre mixed in with a dose of Mary Shelly and bookended with the Youth in Asia characters Nash, Kyle and Grrry, Fuzzyface mixes twisted humor with strict monster movie guidelines and a huge dosage of crass behavior. Written by Venus of Necro and illustrated by John Chihak, Fuzzyface boasts a series of pinups by up and coming artists and a foreward by Henry Barajas, writer of El Loco and Girl Scouts in Space.
As of this afternoon, Fuzzyface: The Agnew Chainsaw Massacre 3 is now available on the internet for download on you "E" devices from Indie Aisle. Thanks to Ovi Demetrian Jr. a guy I met at Amazing Arizona Comic Con a few weeks ago. He approached me in Artist's Alley at the con and asked me if I was interested in turning some of my comic books into digital comics. I had wanted to do this for a while, as this was the easiest way to make Anti-Hero Brand Comics available to as many people as possible.
This is a massive step forward for AHB, and the potential it brings is great. Fuzzyface is the breakout book for us, and I believe is easily the most iconic of all our titles, with the series of coloring books called "got crayons?" very close in second place. For those of you out there still without a copy of this great book, all you need is $3 and you can download it in its entirety. Or get a monthly unlimited subscription to Indie Aisle and read Fuzzyface as well as many other awesome titles, like Dennmann's "Get That Chicken," and a ton of "Monster Commute" comics from Steam Crow. This is a super inexpensive way to get to check out a lot of worthy indie writers and creators. And it's not just limited to comics. There's novels and short stories available too.
For those of you who've heard the buzz, or want to check out the madness, just click here for Fuzzyface E Book.
As of this afternoon, Fuzzyface: The Agnew Chainsaw Massacre 3 is now available on the internet for download on you "E" devices from Indie Aisle. Thanks to Ovi Demetrian Jr. a guy I met at Amazing Arizona Comic Con a few weeks ago. He approached me in Artist's Alley at the con and asked me if I was interested in turning some of my comic books into digital comics. I had wanted to do this for a while, as this was the easiest way to make Anti-Hero Brand Comics available to as many people as possible.
This is a massive step forward for AHB, and the potential it brings is great. Fuzzyface is the breakout book for us, and I believe is easily the most iconic of all our titles, with the series of coloring books called "got crayons?" very close in second place. For those of you out there still without a copy of this great book, all you need is $3 and you can download it in its entirety. Or get a monthly unlimited subscription to Indie Aisle and read Fuzzyface as well as many other awesome titles, like Dennmann's "Get That Chicken," and a ton of "Monster Commute" comics from Steam Crow. This is a super inexpensive way to get to check out a lot of worthy indie writers and creators. And it's not just limited to comics. There's novels and short stories available too.
For those of you who've heard the buzz, or want to check out the madness, just click here for Fuzzyface E Book.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Batman Judge Dredd: Judgment on Gotham; A Hardcore Review
Written by Alan Grant and John Wagner and illustrated by one of my favorite artists Simon Bisley, this one shot graphic novel that crosses over characters from both sides of "the Pond." This visually gritty and intense story begins with Judge Death finding his way into Gotham via a dimension hoping belt. Confronted by two Gotham police officers, Judge Death makes short work of the boys in blue. And the pointy eared freak in tights is on the scene. Judge Death somehow drops the dimension belt and Batman finds it. Upon picking it up, he finds himself suddenly in Mega City One, and within a heartbeat facing off with Mean Machine Angel, last of the Angel clan. And with proper amounts of property destruction who should show up but Judge Joe Dredd. Playing the usual strong arm of the law, Dredd provokes Bats into taking a swing at him, and then consistently piles it on by revealing the additional sentence time for each strike. Pretty funny stuff. Two worlds collide with Batman truly believing in justice, well his definition of justice, and Dredd delivering quick justice, without the whole pesky due process or a trial by jury of your peers kinda waste of tax dollars. It's Judge Anderson who actually settles the boys down, sorta.
She ends up breaking Batman out of custody and dimension hoping back to Gotham City with the Caped Crusader to track down Death. Dredd finds out and does a little "Pond" hoping himself. Catching up with Anderson and Batman is first on his list, but he runs across Death's Gotham running buddy The Scarecrow. Ol' Stawhead blast Dredd with his fear gas, causing Dredd to hallucinate fluffy bunnies and unicorns. But it's when Batman, Dredd and Anderson combine their efforts that they take down both Scarecrow and Death. Although there was a panel where it looked as if Death lingered in Gotham City.
The gritty and insanely rendered artwork by the enigmatic Bisley is as always, spot on. And Grant who has been writing the Judge in 2000 AD comics for years is brought more to the attention of the American populace by way of incorporating the opposite side of the justice coin in Batman. The dialog at points seems cheesey, as Dredd keeps spouting off. And then there was the scene where Death kills a rock band. That was memorable for it's heinous wordsmithing. But in all this is a great, quick read. No need for pesky back stories, as both characters, whether you know their histories or not, are pretty much made quite clear in the early stages of this book. Recently I have been considering how Batman would physically look given the things he does on a nightly basis. Would he honestly have time to train? Lift weights, do insane cardio and obstacle courses and fighting techniques on a regular basis all the while spending the night hours patrolling the city. And yes, I realize it's a fucking work of fiction, and that something like this could have little actual relevance in the existing world. However, given the idea, would Bats have the insanely muscled body that Bisley gives him in the book? Or would he be leaner and built more like a mixed martial artist? Like it really matters, but this is my god damn review and I'll take a fucking detour if I want to.
I am almost certain this is the first Bisley project I have ever reviewed. And what a way to kick this off than with grading it based upon one of the best bodies in the wrestling business. Having been out of the public light for eight months rehabing a torn quadriceps muscle from about May 2001, Triple H had left doubters wondering what he would look like when he came back. Would he be the same wrestler who had dominated the previous two years? It was planned in the December 2001 pay per view, called Vengeance that Hunter would do a run in. A preview poster was printed up and everything. However Triple H wasn't quite ready and needed about two more weeks to be up to snuff. So on January 7, 2002 in the world's most famous arena, Madison Square Garden, in front of a sold out crowd and with millions watching at home. After the very last, pain inducing commercial break Raw was back on. And just as you couldn't wait any more, his amazing entrance music, "The Game," by Motorhead blasted through the PA system. And the crowd went absolutely apeshit insane. I have to say for the majority of the two hour show, as a Triple H mark (at the time) I paced the limited floor of my studio apartment with my sledgehammer propped up on my shoulder. Hearing the music blare, and seeing my hero back on television brought chills. It has been said even to this day, eight years later that Madison Square Garden or any other venue hasn't experienced that kind of pop since "The Game" came home.
She ends up breaking Batman out of custody and dimension hoping back to Gotham City with the Caped Crusader to track down Death. Dredd finds out and does a little "Pond" hoping himself. Catching up with Anderson and Batman is first on his list, but he runs across Death's Gotham running buddy The Scarecrow. Ol' Stawhead blast Dredd with his fear gas, causing Dredd to hallucinate fluffy bunnies and unicorns. But it's when Batman, Dredd and Anderson combine their efforts that they take down both Scarecrow and Death. Although there was a panel where it looked as if Death lingered in Gotham City.
The gritty and insanely rendered artwork by the enigmatic Bisley is as always, spot on. And Grant who has been writing the Judge in 2000 AD comics for years is brought more to the attention of the American populace by way of incorporating the opposite side of the justice coin in Batman. The dialog at points seems cheesey, as Dredd keeps spouting off. And then there was the scene where Death kills a rock band. That was memorable for it's heinous wordsmithing. But in all this is a great, quick read. No need for pesky back stories, as both characters, whether you know their histories or not, are pretty much made quite clear in the early stages of this book. Recently I have been considering how Batman would physically look given the things he does on a nightly basis. Would he honestly have time to train? Lift weights, do insane cardio and obstacle courses and fighting techniques on a regular basis all the while spending the night hours patrolling the city. And yes, I realize it's a fucking work of fiction, and that something like this could have little actual relevance in the existing world. However, given the idea, would Bats have the insanely muscled body that Bisley gives him in the book? Or would he be leaner and built more like a mixed martial artist? Like it really matters, but this is my god damn review and I'll take a fucking detour if I want to.
I am almost certain this is the first Bisley project I have ever reviewed. And what a way to kick this off than with grading it based upon one of the best bodies in the wrestling business. Having been out of the public light for eight months rehabing a torn quadriceps muscle from about May 2001, Triple H had left doubters wondering what he would look like when he came back. Would he be the same wrestler who had dominated the previous two years? It was planned in the December 2001 pay per view, called Vengeance that Hunter would do a run in. A preview poster was printed up and everything. However Triple H wasn't quite ready and needed about two more weeks to be up to snuff. So on January 7, 2002 in the world's most famous arena, Madison Square Garden, in front of a sold out crowd and with millions watching at home. After the very last, pain inducing commercial break Raw was back on. And just as you couldn't wait any more, his amazing entrance music, "The Game," by Motorhead blasted through the PA system. And the crowd went absolutely apeshit insane. I have to say for the majority of the two hour show, as a Triple H mark (at the time) I paced the limited floor of my studio apartment with my sledgehammer propped up on my shoulder. Hearing the music blare, and seeing my hero back on television brought chills. It has been said even to this day, eight years later that Madison Square Garden or any other venue hasn't experienced that kind of pop since "The Game" came home.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Hack Slash, My First Maniac 1-3; A Hardcore Review
Today, after a very long time in the making, I review the first three issues of the Image Comics release of Hack Slash; My First Maniac. This is as much of an origin of slasher killer, Cassie Hack as you can imagine. Cassie Hack is a young, semi goth, quasi punker chick who, along with her hulking friend Vlad, hunts down slashers. Her very first experience with slashers was with her mom, The Lunch Lady. Cassie went to a private school where her mom worked in the cafeteria. Cassie, was awkward as most kids her age are. But she was tormented by her classmates. Cassie's mom saw all this happening and decided to do something about it. So the Lunch Lady began slashing the kids at the school. But like so many slasher movies, she was hunted down and killed.
Cassie ran. Hooked up with Vlad and began slashing the slashers. The original series from Devils Due Press ran for more than thirty issues, and a series of one shots and crossovers. Cassie was even featured on the Suicide Girls website with her own set of pics. The photos of fans run in the backs of the issues are probably some of the best likenesses of fandom I have ever seen.
Hack Slash was created by Tim Seeley. Several issues of the original series was also illustrated by Seeley. Emily Stone ended up drawing most of the remaining issues of the series. Seeley is writing the current series along with Daniel Leister who is doing the art chores. The flash back sequences are awesome as the line style changes and the coloring is old school half tones. I seriously dig that shit.
I'm kind of bummed that the series went to Image. Although I feel this will give the series more coverage and the much needed boost towards the eventual release of the movie. Devils Due had been publishing the series for years. Including the exclusive Suicide Girls one shot. Which had three different covers. Each issue, current or past DDP series comes with a variant cover. The omnibi (plural for omnibus) has cover artwork by Ross Campbell who does the series Wet Moon.
This review is not so much just for the current series, as it is for the overall Hack Slash mythos. Hack Slash is a phenomenal fucking comic. From the uber hot Cassie Hack, to the lovable hell hound Pooch, to the misshapen hero Vlad and all the seriously fucked up slashers, Hack Slash is page for page one of the best comics on the rack right now. You like horror, on a Rob Zombie blood splatter scale, then you need to fucking read this book. Hack Slash is a bloody mess, with some killer tits and ass. I think one of the things I like best about Cassie is that she's not a traditional ditzy bimbo with huge boobs. She's smart, savvy and she is height and weight proportionate. She is also very much a Suicide Girl, sans the tattoos and piercings. Cassie Hack is everything the survivors of all horror movies are; strong female protagonists. In the spirit of the book, Hack Slash I have to go with a bloody mess of a wrestling match. And who better to go with than two of the all time bests in the industry. At ECW's Living Dangerously 2000, Steve Corino, the self proclaimed "King of Old School" took on "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes in a "Bull Rope" match. In a blood splatterfest, Corino and Rhodes bled each other for the love of the sport and the adulation of the crowd. This is one of the all time best, short lived wrestling feuds in the history of this storied industry. A double "four alarm blade job," Corino and Rhodes made history as two generations met in the ring and time stood still. In my opinion this was bigger than Hogan versus The Rock, in so much as Hogan could never dream to be the worker Rhodes was on his worst day. And Corino was one of the best heels of a short lived ECW. Blood and violence galore, Steve Corino regrets nothing in the massive scar tissue he now wears as a badge of honor for the sport he loves.
Cassie ran. Hooked up with Vlad and began slashing the slashers. The original series from Devils Due Press ran for more than thirty issues, and a series of one shots and crossovers. Cassie was even featured on the Suicide Girls website with her own set of pics. The photos of fans run in the backs of the issues are probably some of the best likenesses of fandom I have ever seen.
Hack Slash was created by Tim Seeley. Several issues of the original series was also illustrated by Seeley. Emily Stone ended up drawing most of the remaining issues of the series. Seeley is writing the current series along with Daniel Leister who is doing the art chores. The flash back sequences are awesome as the line style changes and the coloring is old school half tones. I seriously dig that shit.
I'm kind of bummed that the series went to Image. Although I feel this will give the series more coverage and the much needed boost towards the eventual release of the movie. Devils Due had been publishing the series for years. Including the exclusive Suicide Girls one shot. Which had three different covers. Each issue, current or past DDP series comes with a variant cover. The omnibi (plural for omnibus) has cover artwork by Ross Campbell who does the series Wet Moon.
This review is not so much just for the current series, as it is for the overall Hack Slash mythos. Hack Slash is a phenomenal fucking comic. From the uber hot Cassie Hack, to the lovable hell hound Pooch, to the misshapen hero Vlad and all the seriously fucked up slashers, Hack Slash is page for page one of the best comics on the rack right now. You like horror, on a Rob Zombie blood splatter scale, then you need to fucking read this book. Hack Slash is a bloody mess, with some killer tits and ass. I think one of the things I like best about Cassie is that she's not a traditional ditzy bimbo with huge boobs. She's smart, savvy and she is height and weight proportionate. She is also very much a Suicide Girl, sans the tattoos and piercings. Cassie Hack is everything the survivors of all horror movies are; strong female protagonists. In the spirit of the book, Hack Slash I have to go with a bloody mess of a wrestling match. And who better to go with than two of the all time bests in the industry. At ECW's Living Dangerously 2000, Steve Corino, the self proclaimed "King of Old School" took on "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes in a "Bull Rope" match. In a blood splatterfest, Corino and Rhodes bled each other for the love of the sport and the adulation of the crowd. This is one of the all time best, short lived wrestling feuds in the history of this storied industry. A double "four alarm blade job," Corino and Rhodes made history as two generations met in the ring and time stood still. In my opinion this was bigger than Hogan versus The Rock, in so much as Hogan could never dream to be the worker Rhodes was on his worst day. And Corino was one of the best heels of a short lived ECW. Blood and violence galore, Steve Corino regrets nothing in the massive scar tissue he now wears as a badge of honor for the sport he loves.
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