Kill Bill; A Hardcore Review

Into it holds the idea that we should be fair and balanced and be "nice" and not be damning of a product or its creators. I say this. It would not be truth if I only reviewed things I liked or always in a favorable way. In fact the reviews where I have panned something have brought me the most kudos from readers. And quite simply, if you do not like things to be reviewed fairly and in an editorial manner... DON'T FUCKING READ MY REVIEWS! In fact if that's how you feel you should probably never read anything I write... EVAR!
I am going to remind everyone who reads these reviews that the grading system I use is this: instead of thumbs up or stars, I rate on hardcore moments in pro wrestling history. The more hardcore the event, match, promo or moment the more I liked the book, comic, movie or video game I am reviewing. The less hardcore the moment, the more I disliked it. An example would be anything related to Hulk Hogan would be highly NOT recommended. Onto the review...
So, I finally watch the fourth movie by Quentin Tarantino. Wow! So his whole vision here was to simply say that a woman, no matter who she is, or how fucked up her life is, or what not, becomes a mother the instant she finds out she is pregnant. This was the stupidest piece of shit I have ever wasted my time on. I can't believe people flock to his bullshit like assholes to an asshole convention.
Tarantino once said he would never make a comic book movie cause fans of comic books are assholes. So then why did he help make one with Robert Rodriguez in Sin City? And then what was the point of the amazing bad dialog of comparing Beatrix Kiddo (quite possibly the absolute worst assassin's name in history) to Superman? Just the whole idea of this movie with it's really awful attempts at "pulp" dialog in the equally bad trailer, "I'm gonna kill Bill." You wanna know why Uma Thurman is on my most overrated list? Watch this movie where her ability to make a painful bowel movement seem like a vacation by comparison to having to listen to her droning voice and help but not look at her fugly fucking Euro-trash visage. Is Tarantino's wet dream of Uma Thurman as a mommy really such a great idea to make a movie about it? Well, for you idiots out there who masturbate yourselves to sleep while watching bile like this, the answer is yes. For someone like myself, who has a vision that isn't completely hackneyed shenanigans of monsterously goofy proportions of my obvious geekdom, I get to watch this drivel and then write about how overrated and how I now feel as if I've not only lost four hours of my life which I will never get back, but also kill more braincells than I would have if I drank my weight in Guinness and sniffed enough glue to make an elephant forget.
I live my life and my work by an ideal that I will never talk down to those who take the journey to read my comics or even my reviews. I have also sworn to a blood oath that I will continually push my craft in a direction that is worthy of you the readers. In retrospect Quentin Tarantino does not subscribe to this idea. The funny thing, or more in line catch-22 as it were, is that Q as he refers to himself in the credits, calls all of you who watch his movies, idiots, fanboys and geeks. And he mocks who you are and then laughs all the way to the bank. I ask you why would you put up with not only blatant abuse by someone who isn't fit to call himself an artist, but becoming worse as a movie maker as his career progresses. Jesus this guy is to film making what Andy Warhol was to painting. And you fuckers salivate like Pavlov's dog when you hear that he's making a new movie. Yes friends, a new movie by Q who proceeds to then shovel feed you the same bubble gum flavored bull shit that he's been trying to pass off as plot and dialog for well over a decade now.
Oh, and a word to people who call his work indie. You're deluding yourselves. Indie is not something that has a huge Hollywood budget, and shareholders. Indie is an ideal, much like punk rock was in the 70's and 80's. Versus the shite the record execs seem to think will pass as punk nowadays.
There is a lot of things I will take, but being condescended to by Frodo Baggins with a receding hairline with a hardon for shcok value and work that I wouldn't piss on if it was on fire IS NOT!
Kill Bill had some of the worst dialog I have ever had to bleed my ears through as well as the biggest plot holes in the history of EVER that I had to attempt to navigate. Fucking Lara Croft and Indiana Jones couldn't find their way through what passed for a script here folks. In fact, throwing some pop culture references into your Uma Thurman jizz rag of a script does NOT MAKE YOU INDIE! You're a fucking short sighted, short, balding, albino idiot with a penchant for the vain. At least he had the good sense to not include himself into the mix. Although that caused me to feel somewhat cheated as I always have fun watching has been actors navigate their way around Gollum waving his "precious" around in the air proclaiming, "lookit me, I'm a movie director and pop culture legend." The only thing missing here was his money shot onto Uma's fucked up face. Cause that's what this was. His unsung love for Uma Thurman who couldn't act her way out of a waitressing job at Denny's.
Action scenes galore in the movie with no discernible plot devices or meaning other than the great dialog rendered here, "I'm Buck and I'm here to fuck." Yeah you're classy and pithy and witty and you make the best movies in the world. And if it weren't for my pride, self respect, hairline and talent and drive and ability I would be just like you. Only, you know of a normal height.
Here you go. Those of you who know my disdain for anything related to Hulk Hogan knows I was saving this as my Coup de Gras thought this day might never come. This movie rates in all things hardcore the vaunted and deadly, the move that never looked good during the millions of years he thrived during the Jurassic period of pro wrestling, and all due respect to Mick Foley's opinion on the matter, the absolutely WORST finishing move on the planet and in the history of the business, the big boot and mighty, leg drop.