Thoughts and reflections.... the ability to choose

While driving home from work today I began to think about the murder of Lisa Berrie. Her murderer was convicted and his sentencing is scheduled for January 25, 2010. I began to think about how my ideals no longer allow me to support the death penalty or the justice system in a lot of ways. I also began to think about my ideals versus a lot of so called Christians. People who never learned to turn the other cheek. People who truly believe in an eye for an eye. It happened because I saw a "Pro Life" car, with propaganda bumper stickers all over it. Don't get me wrong. I think abortion is a shitty excuse for birth control. And I would not, no matter my situation, financially or otherwise, never endorse a girlfriend or any female who might be pregnant with my child to have an abortion. I would never presume to tell anyone what they should or could do with their bodies. That's what separates me fundamentally from most all Pro Lifers. Nobody, least of all someone who's a fucking hypocrite like a politician should ever presume to tell someone, usually a minority teen, what she should do with her body.
This made me think about suicide. And how, like Wendy O. Williams, lead singer of the Plasmatics, who made the choice to end her own life felt.

"I don't believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time. I do believe strongly, however, that the right to do so is one of the most fundamental rights that anyone in a free society should have. For me, much of the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm."

The reason I feel this way is because it a person's right to make choices. I think that's what pisses me off so much about murder. When you take a life, you are doing something that is far more heinous than removing life from this earth. You are taking away that person's ability to make choices about themselves, and their future. It hit me really clearly for some reason. I don't believe in hindering choice from an individual. That is just wrong. I mean even if you're religious. Supposedly God gave man free will. Which is the ability to make choices. Right or wrong that's what God decided. SO why question or belittle or make war with someone based upon a choice?
People take away others ability to choose all the time. And I think that is a far worse crime than anything in the world. We all make choices. Whether or not to get out of bed? What clothes to wear? What to eat? Whether or not to go to work or school? We make decisions. The same as we make excuses for curtailing others decisions. And it makes me sick to think about it. I used to feel it was cowardly to end your own life. And part of why I felt that way was because of my Catholic upbringing. I know that religion and faith plays a major part in most if not all of our daily lives. And when I think about that it makes me feel strange. Yes, faith can be a very good thing to have. I have no real doubts about that. Except, that faith, morals and ideology is usually instilled in us when we are still children, and our minds are extremely susceptible to being molded in whatever image our teachers choose. That's their choice to mold us in a certain image. But it takes away the ability for us, even as children, to choose. I was planning on raising my children with no real belief structure other than to do their best and to work hard and to be a good person. But even this is decided upon my definitions of each portion. What does being a hard worker mean to me? What defines a good person in my eyes? What does it mean to try your best? These are all definitions that would be decided upon by me. And at the same time, taking away choices to be made by them. And I realized that there is no real way around this. Not with humans. It's not in our nature. We don't have instincts to survive like every other animal on Earth. We don't have built in defenses. We rely, for several years after birth, the most of any offspring to any other animal on Earth, the nurturing and caring and molding of our teachers.